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Here we go yet again Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8436 posts
14th Feb '13

So normally SO and I do not celebrate Vday at all because it just so happens to be my papal's bday and SOs bday is the next day. But as some of you know we are currently living with his mother because she cant afford to live by herself due to both financial and medical reasons. And shit has been very crazy here lately and his mother's health has been suffering due to all of the stressful crap going on. So we decided to take her out to dinner and I told SO I thought it would be a nice idea to buy her some flowers. Because she loves getting flowers, they always make her happy, and its been a very long time since anyone has bought her any. So after dinner we hit 3 different places trying to find her favorite flowers and the last place we went had them. While I was helping his mother around the store SO and his son went and picked out flowers then found us and let his mom pick out which ones she liked best. After she picked I started putting the others back and when I went to put some roses up SO told me those werent for his mom they where for me. Now mind you Ive never been into flowers or anything like that. I pointed out to him that the roses where dead because they where he then go pissed and tells me fine then f**king put them back. I told him to just look for something else and he said he would. At this point his mother wasnt feeling well so I took her out to the car and soon after SO and his son came out with not one but two things of flowers for his mom and a half deflated balloon on a cardboard bear thing for me. At this point I got upset but I didnt say anything.I waited until we got home to talk to him and to explain why I was upset and all he did was get pissed again. He started yelling about WTF do I expect from him he doesnt know how to pick out flowers. I pointed out that he managed to pick out two very nice bouquets of flowers for his mom but he couldnt even attempt to look for one for me that wasnt dead. But more then anything the thing that upsets me the most is that I know that if it hadnt of been for his mother he wouldnt have even thought of trying to get anything for me. We have been together almost 9 years now and in that time he has only ever bought me flowers three times. Once because we where in the store and I saw some and told him I wanted them, the second time was because he took his nephew to the store and his nephew pretty much guilt tripped him into buying them for me, and the last time was last mother's day and I only got those because he bought his mom flowers and she made him feel bad because he didnt buy me any too. Im not asking for him to buy me flowers or gift all the time but it would be nice if just for once he went out and did something like that for me on his own and not because someone else made him feel like he had to.

October2011 Due April 3; 1 child; Pennsylvania 6494 posts
14th Feb '13

I'd let it go..sounds like he wanted to buy you roses but since you were picky about it, he didnt want you hating on another bouquet so he got something that didnt have flowers. The thought was there. Guys suck at shopping, plain and simple.

tonys_mama(army wife) 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Fort Irwin, California 15522 posts
14th Feb '13

I'm sorry but you sound very ungrateful. He got you flowers and you bitched then he got you something else and it still wasn't good enough. I would be pissed if I was him. It's supposed to be the thought that counts.

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30918 posts
14th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting October2011:</b>" I'd let it go..sounds like he wanted to buy you roses but since you were picky about it, he didnt want ... [snip!] ... on another bouquet so he got something that didnt have flowers. The thought was there. Guys suck at shopping, plain and simple."</blockquote>



:!:



Yes they do.

1 child; Chicopee, MA, United States 30921 posts
14th Feb '13

way to shoot down his effort

Elena Gilbert 4 kids; La Center, KY, United States 2730 posts
14th Feb '13
Quoting October2011:" I'd let it go..sounds like he wanted to buy you roses but since you were picky about it, he didnt want ... [snip!] ... on another bouquet so he got something that didnt have flowers. The thought was there. Guys suck at shopping, plain and simple."

this!

B,K,&L!(15wks) Due September 30; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Michigan 1065 posts
14th Feb '13
Quoting tonys_mama(army wife):" I'm sorry but you sound very ungrateful. He got you flowers and you bitched then he got you something ... [snip!] ... something else and it still wasn't good enough. I would be pissed if I was him. It's supposed to be the thought that counts."


:!:



It's the thought that counts. He didn't have to get you anything.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8436 posts
14th Feb '13

Thank you all so very much for just automatically jumping to the conclusion that Im the one who is wrong. You people have no idea what happened because you werent there. All I told him was that the roses where dead because they where anyone who had eyes would have seen that then both his mother and I pointed out several other ones that looked nice. I didnt say a damn thing to him about the balloon. Ive never once said anything bad to him about anything that he has ever bought me no matter how much I disliked it. Im just sick and tired of the fact that he never once takes it upon himself to do anything nice for me not once in the entire time we have been together has he ever done that. And the only reason he even picked anything out for me to begin with is because he knew if he didnt his mother would have ripped him a new a*****e just like she did on mother's day. I do so much for him and his entire family but I guess you guys are right I have no right to be upset and no right to think that after all this time together he should make any kind of effort to do something nice for me.

1 child; Chicopee, MA, United States 30921 posts
14th Feb '13
Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:" Thank you all so very much for just automatically jumping to the conclusion that Im the one who is wrong. ... [snip!] ... be upset and no right to think that after all this time together he should make any kind of effort to do something nice for me."


would you have rathered him do and get you absolutely nothing

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50677 posts
14th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:</b>" Thank you all so very much for just automatically jumping to the conclusion that Im the one who is wrong. ... [snip!] ... be upset and no right to think that after all this time together he should make any kind of effort to do something nice for me."</blockquote>




Yup still sound ungrateful.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8436 posts
14th Feb '13
Quoting
Elena Gilbert 4 kids; La Center, KY, United States 2730 posts
14th Feb '13

the only thing i ever got for vday from my DH was one year he got me fishing lures and 20 dollar (the lures he got me were out of his mom and dads box) and the money he later used for himself to go fishing. I loved the fact that he tried and we laughed about it and I was extreamly pround.. He passed away in 2011 due to an ATV accident. be thinkful you even got spend the day with him!! or see him.

October2011 Due April 3; 1 child; Pennsylvania 6494 posts
14th Feb '13
Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:" Thank you all so very much for just automatically jumping to the conclusion that Im the one who is wrong. ... [snip!] ... be upset and no right to think that after all this time together he should make any kind of effort to do something nice for me."


wow..okay then.

You have to learn that guys don't think like women do. They just don't. Their thought process isn't as deep and hormonal as ours are. Meaning when a guy is at the store he can't connect the dots as to which gift will make you feel unimportant..they just think a gift is a gift. But If you are that unhappy then
A. go to counceling
B. let him know whats actually bothering you
C. leave him.

~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~ 17 kids; Connecticut 15826 posts
14th Feb '13

At least he tried....personally, I think you shouldn't have said anything....that really kills a guys pride when you insult what he buys for you. Doesn't matter if it's a diamond ring you're insulting, or a bouquet of flowers, point is, guys don't handle that well....If I were him, I'd be a little irritated too lol HOWEVER I understand why you'd be upset about his mom getting pretty flowers, but the thing is, you NEVER want to start an argument over what his mom got- It will ONLY end in disaster. I think he tried, but roses are difficult to shop for...sometimes you think they look perfect, then upon closer inspection, they're bruised or dying....it all depends, he may not have even notice that they were dying.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8436 posts
14th Feb '13
Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:</b>" Thank you all so very much for ... [snip!] ... time together he should make any kind of effort to do something nice for me."</blockquote> Yup still sound ungrateful."

Yes Im so very ungrateful yet Im the one who is always going out of my way for him and his family. Im the one who has pretty much given up everything Ive ever wanted for myself so I can stay home everyday and take care of his sick mother and his son. And I guess Im just worlds worst person because I would like just for once for him to do something to actually show me that he appreciates all the things I do for him and his family and to actually show me that he cares about me. You people have no idea what I go through on a daily bases with this man or all the things I do for him but you just want to jump to conclusions and tell me that Im wrong when you have no idea why I feel the way I do or the things that have happened that have made me feel this way.