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Our Birth and Etc Story Caimma 1 child; New Zealand 1129 posts
14th Feb '13

As some of you knew we were having some 'issues' to do with who would be in the c-section. Me or Caitlyn's Mom. The morning of the 13th Caitlyn decided if she had to have a c-section I would be in with her. She told her Mom and she flipped her shit. She really upset Caitlyn and I was woken at 10am with her in hysterics so I calmed her down and she went out to the lounge and their was a note from her Mom saying either I move out or she does so we found somewhere to stay a couple of nights and packed enough stuff and all of Caitlyn's labour gear and headed out. Some nasty stuff was yelled at us as we left and we were told our stuff would be mailed to us and not to bother telling them when the baby was born because they didnt want anything to do with him. We left in tears and scared about what our fate held.
We got to our friends and Caitlyn had been having several contractions and had been leaking all day. She had never had more than 3 Braxton Hicks a day and wasnt feeling good so we headed to the hospital just to have her checked out. She was 12 days away from her due date so we figured they would tell her it was just false labour and to go back home. Nope. We got there and it turned out her water had broken that morning and those were real contractions. Baby was breech so they booked her for a c-section. She had had less than 10 contractions that day and just after 6pm they were 4-6 minutes apart and coming on strong. I rung her parents and they said no shes not in labour. Caitlyn then rung them and said no she is going for the c-section tonight and asked if they would be there. They didnt want me near the hospital and said no her Mom will be in the c-section. This was very hard for me. I still struggle a little with the fact that I missed our baby being born but I cannot change it. Her parents turned up and from then on I was in the coridoor. This was the last I saw of her.
And that was the last bump picture before he was born. About 5 hours of crying later I got to see pictures the midwife took of him being born. He was absolutely beautiful.
They took several goes at trying to get the epidural into Caitlyn. The anesthetic wore of so they had to do that again to have another go with the epidural. They hit a nerve in her hip and she felt it shoot through which really sucked because she did not want an epidural and she was having to comfort her mom through what she was going through.
Blake Kenneth Michael Lorigan was born at 11.27pm Sunday 13th January 2013 weighing 8lbs exactly and fed for an hour straight in recovery. Around 2am They were both taken up to their room and I got to see them for the first time.
We hoped this would be the end of everything but alas no. We had been in the room 10 minutes when a rude midwife came in and told us to leave. I didnt even get to touch them let alone cuddle them both. I was escorted from the hospital which I thought was rude. If I had been a male I would have been allowed to stay with them but being a lesbian relationship and not biologically his I was not.



With a little persuasion and getting over myself I returned the next day and got to hold him for the first time. He was perfect. We got allocated a social worker to find a place for us but no such luck so Caitlyn ended up returning home and I slept on a person's couch for what ended up being the next month. A really nice nurse the next day informed staff that it was important I stayed the night. I got to stay that night and the next 4 or 5 at the birthing centre.



Caitlyn was up and walking withing 12hours after her operation and showering that day. just over a week she was driving her manual to come in and see us.
We met several times of the past 5 weeks in secret and she even stayed a couple of nights so she could have a rest and I could help. At her parents she was doing everything on her own and wasnt getting the emotional support. The second night she stayed her parents told her if she didnt come home they would call CYFS(our version of CPS). There has been some dirty games pulled by her mother all because Caitlyn wanted me in the room when Blake was born even though her Mom got to be in there. Her mom was telling her things like I was abusing her, using her pregnancy hormones against her, I was going to kidnap Blake etc. The lies that have been told has been ridiculous especially when she got her way. She even went as far to say she would rather Caitlyn be miserable, a single mom, struggling for the rest of her life and depending on them rather than happy with me and getting support. It has gotten so far that her Mom wrote on the christmas present I got them a nasty note that no one will tell me what it says because my mom said it was disgusting and would hurt me too much.



Through all of this Caitlyn has been struggling with breast feeding. Blake fed really well the first night but after that there were some problems. A midwife at the hospital on the second night told her that she was starving her baby and he was going to die if he didnt have formula. She really didnt want to give him formula but they made her sign a form and gave him formula. The next day wasnt a nice day for nappies. The midwives at the birthing centre were absolutely amazing and helped her everytime he needed a feed. Its been nearly 5 weeks and her milk still hasnt fully come through but she is able to feed him the majority of his feeds 3 times a day on breastmilk and it is increasing each time. At 2-3 weeks Blake lost the normal 10% of his birth weight then dropped again so he was exclusively formula fed for a couple of weeks while she tried to build her milk up and his weight increased. He is all okay now.




The best of the news though is yesterday we moved into a house together and everything is getting back on track.




Any questions or anything feel free to ask. This post is a bit all over the place but wanted to keep those we were talking to before he was born informed.

† Phoenix † 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
14th Feb '13

wow thats a messed up thing he mom's doing.

Caimma 1 child; New Zealand 1129 posts
15th Feb '13

Yup. Things are pretty crazy but we are together, in our own house and getting little one into a routine.

† Phoenix † 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
15th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Caimma:</b>" Yup. Things are pretty crazy but we are together, in our own house and getting little one into a routine."</blockquote>




That's good you guys are in your own house