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sex help blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
15th Feb '13

Ok so long story short. I haven't had sex in 7 months. B4 that it was once in June and once in July. I had lo in January and had sex a few times in December 11 but b4 that none since the day I got pregnant in 4/11. I am insecure about my vagina due to a bad stitch job and insecure about my mommy tummy. I've lost all of my baby weight but due to a vaccine injury I've lost lots of muscle tone and cannot work out much. I'm working on it though.



So I've reaquainted with a guy from my past. I really like him but some things are bothering me about him. I'm not perfect so I'm trying to deal with them and work through them.



Well we have fooled around twice recently, 2nd base type stuff. He does some things I don't like and Idk how to say I don't like that bc it is a few things. I've moved his hands away or body or whatever and he doesn't get the hint. I don't want to say I have these issues and run down a grocery list. I am rusty at dating and not so tactful. I'm blunt and direct and I don't want to come off

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
15th Feb '13

Wrong or bitchy. I see this going long term like marriage and I know no relationship is perfect but I'm used to certain things and being treated certain ways. I'm trying to be more open and communicate more bc I know its key. I want to do this the right way and some of these things can be fixed I think. Anyone ever had issues with their SO at first but work through them or vica versa?



My bad, my lo decided it was time to post lol



Also when we fooled around I didn't let it go far and he didn't ask why and was cool about it. How do I express my feelings about my insecurities without looking like a wreck?



Help! I'm rusty at this whole thing

Ozzie & BamBam 17 kids; Houston, Texas 3906 posts
15th Feb '13

I know how you feel I didnt have sex for 1year 7 months but I found and gi=uy and he didnt care. I felt so self concious but if he likes you then he likes you. He knows you just had a baby too so IMO think he will either accept it or not. He's gonna see it eventually if you go to 3rd base. I just came out and told SO, I dnt like my tummy and he didnt take my shirt off during sex.

Ozzie & BamBam 17 kids; Houston, Texas 3906 posts
15th Feb '13
Quoting momma melissa85:" Wrong or bitchy. I see this going long term like marriage and I know no relationship is perfect but I'm ... [snip!] ... it. How do I express my feelings about my insecurities without looking like a wreck? Help! I'm rusty at this whole thing"


I put this way, I have a muscle disorder and have wayyyyy more to worry about than my vagina or tummy but its there so I worry about it. When he wanted to take my shirt off I pushed him away, we had sex eventually but I was scared what he would say or think and he honestly didnt care. He loves my body and he says you just had a baby I know why its there. If your guy is respectful and understands he wouldnt care.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
15th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ozzie & BamBam:</b>" I know how you feel I didnt have sex for 1year 7 months but I found and gi=uy and he didnt care. I felt ... [snip!] ... eventually if you go to 3rd base. I just came out and told SO, I dnt like my tummy and he didnt take my shirt off during sex."</blockquote>




Aw I was thinking about u earlier. Glad you found someone. :)



Well he knows my tummy is there but I didn't tell him how it bothers me. He doesn't know how I feel about my vagina either.



Ugh how do I deal with him doing some things I don't like during the foreplay Or I guess fooling around. Not everybody likes the same things. I do things and know by reactions and I observed how he likes or doesn't. I don't like dudes who aren't observant and I don't like to just tell a guy do this and don't do that. Its a turn off plus I don't think guys like it much.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
15th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ozzie & BamBam:</b>" I put this way, I have a muscle disorder and have wayyyyy more to worry about than my vagina or tummy ... [snip!] ... loves my body and he says you just had a baby I know why its there. If your guy is respectful and understands he wouldnt care."</blockquote>




Yea I know what u mean. I do too but not nearly as bad as yours. I am very self conscious about my body. I've developed a lot of ache too like on my back chest and face like a 16 year old. I seriously hate it and nothing is working. I'm sure he doesn't care but I do. Its more how I feel but how do I tell him? That's why I'm not ready for sex right now and I think he deserves to know.

Ozzie & BamBam 17 kids; Houston, Texas 3906 posts
15th Feb '13
Quoting momma melissa85:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Ozzie & BamBam:</b>" I put this way, I have a muscle disorder ... [snip!] ... I do. Its more how I feel but how do I tell him? That's why I'm not ready for sex right now and I think he deserves to know."


I just up and told SO lol. I just said I dont like my tummy or my back. I have fat in my back its horrible and he respected it and left my shirt on. I think if a dude really likes you he should respect your boundaries. Just tell him Im not ready, if he asks why just tell him. Whats the worst that could happen. My bf loves my body and I still hate it lol but the more he tells me why he likes it I actually find some confidence in it. I still hate my tummy though but then again I guess its not as bad as some women ya know.

Ozzie & BamBam 17 kids; Houston, Texas 3906 posts
15th Feb '13
Quoting momma melissa85:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Ozzie & BamBam:</b>" I know how you feel I didnt have sex for ... [snip!] ... observant and I don't like to just tell a guy do this and don't do that. Its a turn off plus I don't think guys like it much."


I was thinking about you too lol.



See thats the difference though. My bf is very observant, when Im weak the strength of smile changes and he explained it to me and I was is shock lol. My ex wasnt though and I had to just tell him.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
15th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ozzie & BamBam:</b>" I just up and told SO lol. I just said I dont like my tummy or my back. I have fat in my back its horrible ... [snip!] ... actually find some confidence in it. I still hate my tummy though but then again I guess its not as bad as some women ya know."</blockquote>



Yea.see we had sex years ago so he knows what I used to be like. He doesn't act like it bothers him. He compliments me a lot about me staying fit and I'm thinking you don't see this flab and double chin haha.



You are right I'm going to tell him.bc its not really fair to fool around all the time either when I know I'm not ready.