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Feeling guilty ... The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
18th Feb '13

... I'm feeling guilty about having this baby now. By the time its only a few months old we're more than likely going to have to move out of our house and into a rental. Now I know that most of the people I know have had their kids in rentals, SO is from a Navy family for Gods sake and his mum had all 4 kids in rentals or Navy housing. I just feel like its failing, even though we'll be able to move into a larger house without having to worry about rates or maintenance for a year or so before we'll be in a position to buy.



Am I just being stupid, because I feel like I'm being stupid.

lovinthem04 Due June 26 (boy); 19 kids; Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri 1999 posts
18th Feb '13

Don't stress mama! Some people don't have a place to live at all! You are fine :)

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
18th Feb '13

I dont see anything wrong with it! Look at the big picture.
Will your kids be happy and healthy, loved and provided for? That's all that matters IMO.

Brantley+Savannah 2 kids; Mills River, NC, United States 3119 posts
18th Feb '13

Yes ur being stupid lol (i wudnt have used that term but it was the question lol) youhavent failed in any way. When my son was a month old we had to move into a smaller rental. This coming year i want to be in the position to buy a house tjough. Preferbly 4 bedroom. My mom lives with us because she is on SSI and cant afford to live by herself so thats atleast 3 bedrooms needed there.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
18th Feb '13

You're not stupid at all. It's normal to start wondering about things and worry about things when you have to make a lifestyle change but don't worry. Everything will be fine.

Mrs Wesley 3 kids; Perth, WA, Australia 115 posts
18th Feb '13

Really? Yes you are being stupid. Stop being so superficial and be happy you will have somewhere to live. Who cares if you have to rent?!

Idlehands 2 kids; Perth, Australia 6121 posts
18th Feb '13

Hormones... It's normal to worry but I think you'll be fine. You are budgeting super tightly from your other posts, so I think you will be fine.

Lin Brown 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1819 posts
18th Feb '13

as long as your kids are being fed and are happy, then it doesn't matter where you raise them... just think to yourself, it could always be worse. I went from living in an apartment to moving back in with my parents after I had my 2nd, but I would never in a million years feel bad or regret having her because shit happens and you got to do what you got to do in order to live. kids don't need a big fancy house and fancy shit to be happy.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
18th Feb '13
Quoting Idlehands:" Hormones... It's normal to worry but I think you'll be fine. You are budgeting super tightly from your other posts, so I think you will be fine. "


Yeah and also I have a horrific chest infection at the moment (not the way I wanted to spend my two weeks holiday with which I had planned to paint my house). So I'm feeling pretty miserable and had to much time laying around worrying.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
18th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs Wesley:</b>" Really? Yes you are being stupid. Stop being so superficial and be happy you will have somewhere to live. Who cares if you have to rent?!"</blockquote>



:roll:



Obviously she cares if not she wouldn't be worrying about it. Wanting to have a home of your own does not make a person superficial you b***h.

Mrs Wesley 3 kids; Perth, WA, Australia 115 posts
18th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Heeeeeey, Sexy lady. ;):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs Wesley:</b>" Really? Yes you are being stupid. Stop being ... [snip!] ... if not she wouldn't be worrying about it. Wanting to have a home of your own does not make a person superficial you b***h."</blockquote>



Feeling like she is failing because she might have to live in a rental? Thats ridiculous

♥Manda♥ Sunnydale, CA, United States 29471 posts
18th Feb '13

As someone who had a child while living in a rental and had rented 3 further houses since having her, I find this offensive.



Your post comes across as you feel your 'too good' to raise your kids in a rental because that would mean failure... which is just ridiculous and offensive :-/



Your kid will not remember where it grew up, as long as it is happy and healthy, I grew up in countless rentals, we struggled like hell, I don't remember anything about the tin spaghetti meals, lack of TV and ratty second ham clothes. (I only know I had these because my parents have told me) I remember the love and attention from my parents, the 'exciting new house' every year etc.



A house is a house, regardless of size, rented/bought/mortgage or price. Just make your kids happy and stop obsessing over tiny things.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
18th Feb '13
Quoting Manda♥Bella:" As someone who had a child while living in a rental and had rented 3 further houses since having her, ... [snip!] ... is a house, regardless of size, rented/bought/mortgage or price. Just make your kids happy and stop obsessing over tiny things."


I don't think I'm to good for a rental at all, its more being upset about the upheaval and having to leave this area (we're three doors down from day care and a street away from two schools). Where did I ever say that I was too good for a rental?

Idlehands 2 kids; Perth, Australia 6121 posts
18th Feb '13
Quoting Destiel:" Yeah and also I have a horrific chest infection at the moment (not the way I wanted to spend my two ... [snip!] ... with which I had planned to paint my house). So I'm feeling pretty miserable and had to much time laying around worrying."


I think you're aware that your anxiety about money is the root of all this. You're worries are normal, yes. But the level and consistency in which you worry isn't. Because regardless of whether you've been pregnant or not, working full time or not... you have consistently worried about this to an excessive level.



I do agree, being sick is probably making your anxiety worse. You will be fine, from what you've discussed about your plans/budget and work commitments on here, I'd say things would work out regardless.

♥Manda♥ Sunnydale, CA, United States 29471 posts
18th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Destiel:</b>" I don't think I'm to good for a rental at all, its more being upset about the upheaval and having to ... [snip!] ... three doors down from day care and a street away from two schools). Where did I ever say that I was too good for a rental?"</blockquote>




I didn't say you did.
My exact words were 'your post comes across as you feel your too good'



You said nothing about up heaving your life and day cares and schools, you specifically stated you would feel like a failure,
As someone who is certainly NOT a failure, I infact think I'm pretty far from failure personally, I find that offensive and stupid. (Stupid was your word not mine)