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CNA1990 New Jersey 382 posts
19th Feb '13

Exactly I tell him all the time he treats me like his child not his wife and he just blows of the remark! If I don't do the dishes or whatever like he "asks" he eventually hides the computer charger cord so I can't use the computer it pisses me off. It's so stressful.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
19th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cnc1990:</b>" Exactly I tell him all the time he treats me like his child not his wife and he just blows of the remark! ... [snip!] ... like he "asks" he eventually hides the computer charger cord so I can't use the computer it pisses me off. It's so stressful."</blockquote>



And you're still with him because?

March 2013 3 kids; Illinois 988 posts
19th Feb '13

I don't think I could handle a guy like that!

CNA1990 New Jersey 382 posts
19th Feb '13

I have done wrongs as well and my only option right now if I leave is moving in with my controlling father and his jealous step mom. In Ohio, I can't move out of state with our daughter without his approval or whatever since we are married even if we get divorced.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
19th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cnc1990:</b>" I have done wrongs as well and my only option right now if I leave is moving in with my controlling father ... [snip!] ... I can't move out of state with our daughter without his approval or whatever since we are married even if we get divorced."</blockquote>




No.



You leave. Get a job. File for custody. File for child support. And get your life back.

March 2013 3 kids; Illinois 988 posts
19th Feb '13
Quoting Cnc1990:" I have done wrongs as well and my only option right now if I leave is moving in with my controlling father ... [snip!] ... I can't move out of state with our daughter without his approval or whatever since we are married even if we get divorced."


sorry but your wrongs dont make what he is doing right. marrage is about partnership. not controling someone. is there anyway you can find a job, do you live like in town or out?

CNA1990 New Jersey 382 posts
19th Feb '13

It gets really hard to deal with sometimes, I personally don't know how or even why I put up with it I have mentioned divorce a few times and the last time he cried and finally took me serious about it said he'd go to marriage counselling I said the closest one is 25 mins from where we live he said I'm not driving that far for marriage counselling =/. Not too long ago I packed a lot of mine and my kids' stuff and went to my dad's but came back that night. I left because he refused to lay down and "take a nap" with me and I figured he was going to sleep on the couch when he walked in the living room. I later saw he was looking at pics of naked woman on the computer instead. I left that day but came back and I don't know why. He's very spiteful and I knew just about everything I didn't bring of mine would be gone most likely.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
19th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cnc1990:</b>" It gets really hard to deal with sometimes, I personally don't know how or even why I put up with it ... [snip!] ... and I don't know why. He's very spiteful and I knew just about everything I didn't bring of mine would be gone most likely."</blockquote>




He has you trained. He can fake a tear and promise change and you're back to being his puppet & he has to put forth no effort.

CNA1990 New Jersey 382 posts
19th Feb '13

we live outside of city limits. I've been looking for a job like crazy applying and calling everywhere. He wont take me to get applications I apply online and call places and when with my parents get apps when I can. I can't really leave until I get a job. My dad is on fixed income due to him being a disabled vet and having MS and my step mom is disabled as well.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
19th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cnc1990:</b>" we live outside of city limits. I've been looking for a job like crazy applying and calling everywhere. ... [snip!] ... until I get a job. My dad is on fixed income due to him being a disabled vet and having MS and my step mom is disabled as well."</blockquote>




When you're ready to stop making excuses for yourself, let me know and ill be all ears for support. Until then, don't expect things to get any better or leaving to be any easier.

CNA1990 New Jersey 382 posts
19th Feb '13

Wow, I didn't even think of it like that. I just never thought it was as bad as most people who have controlling SOs have it so I didn;t want to overreact he isn't always a douchebag I mean we do do some stuff but usually I'm expected to be the main maid, and treated like a child punishment from the computer as well. Ya know, with the abuse and all that too. I did get minutes on my cell phone though so I at least have that privacy somewhat.

CNA1990 New Jersey 382 posts
19th Feb '13

I'm not making excuses, I'm saying I'm applying to places and looking to get a job. It's not an excuse that my parents are disabled I don't want to put financial stress on them while trying to get on my feet. I was starting school to be a police officer but I have bad knees and was told that would stop me from becoming a cop. Same with entering into the military.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
19th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cnc1990:</b>" I'm not making excuses, I'm saying I'm applying to places and looking to get a job. It's not an excuse ... [snip!] ... police officer but I have bad knees and was told that would stop me from becoming a cop. Same with entering into the military."</blockquote>




You're making excuses. He's controlling and now abusive?



What would you tell your daughter to do?

CNA1990 New Jersey 382 posts
19th Feb '13
Quoting March 2013:" sorry but your wrongs dont make what he is doing right. marrage is about partnership. not controling someone. is there anyway you can find a job, do you live like in town or out?"


I agree. I have been applying to places and most aren't hiring =/ and I live about 1-2 miles out of city limits.

CNA1990 New Jersey 382 posts
19th Feb '13

I never said he was abusive. I was saying I never thought I had it as bad as it could be. Most women with a controlling partner are often abused as well. He used to make fat jokes and stuff when I was pregnant but stopped except for every once in a blue moon last one was when he said my butt was getting bigger. I asked, "is that a bad thing?" He replied with, "no, just don't let it get much bigger." that was like a month ago I believe.