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ToriHope Due November 8; California 8 posts
19th Feb '13
Quoting KTSKDR:" i do understand your scared believe me but now youre a mom and now is the time to start putting that ... [snip!] ... doesnt get over it. its good you have your bfs family as support. and maybe they can help you get the prenatal care you need "


My mom and step dad love my boyfriend, but i once i tell them this i dont know how they would feel and im scared of him getting locked up D;? What can i do about that?
1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11952 posts
19th Feb '13

One day you will understand your mother. Believe me becoming a mother yourself tends to do that to you. She just wants what is best for you and I am sure she doesn't think being a mother at 15 is what is best. But you are going to have to tell her. You want to be a good mom to your baby then you have to start now. You need to tell your mother so you can be seen by a doctor and get on prenatals. Also you can not just leave with out your mother's consent. Sorry but you are still a minor. You can't even check your own baby out of the hospital after you have it she will have to do that as well (Or if the father isn't in jail he will have to). There is a lot of red tape that comes with being a young mother. You are a mother but you still have to listen to your parents. Which is going to make things a lot harder for you. So all any of us can really tell you is to woman up and just do it. The longer you wait the harder it will be.

Mom[Oh] Due January 7; 1 child; Indiana 580 posts
19th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ToriHope:</b>" KTSKDR what you guys dont understand is my mom will not be understanding in fact im quite scared of what might happen"</blockquote>




Like one of the girls suggested bring someone with you to tell her the news even if you have to do it in a quiet but public place. That way if she were to be out of control there will be witnesses, if your really that scared.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11952 posts
19th Feb '13
Quoting ToriHope:" "


You can't do anything if your parents have him arrested. That is the risk both of you took when you decided to have sex knowing it was illegal.

KTSKDR Due March 20; 1 child; Indiana 246 posts
19th Feb '13
Quoting ToriHope:" "


well i have no clue what the laws are where you live. here the parent or state has to press charges but an 18yr old and a 16yr old is legal in my state. i would think as long as your parents didnt call the cops on him the state wouldnt have an opportunity to press charges but im just not sure. best thing you could do is get emancipated which im unsure of the laws where you live are about that too. some states its hard to get emancipated others its pretty simple. you need to start looking into the laws and see. and start educating yourself on pregnancy and the development of your baby and what to expect with labor and delivery. and you need to find an obgyn to go to. and if needed get insurance

Mom[Oh] Due January 7; 1 child; Indiana 580 posts
19th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting KTSKDR:</b>" well i have no clue what the laws are where you live. here the parent or state has to press charges ... [snip!] ... of your baby and what to expect with labor and delivery. and you need to find an obgyn to go to. and if needed get insurance"</blockquote>




Hope your ready for all that coming your way OP!
think telling your mom your pregnant is scary. Try thinking about child birth... if you think you can do that you should be able to tell your mom. I know this isn't the best way to tell her but maybe write her a letter? Although in person is much more grown up and responsible!

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11952 posts
19th Feb '13
Quoting KTSKDR:" well i have no clue what the laws are where you live. here the parent or state has to press charges ... [snip!] ... of your baby and what to expect with labor and delivery. and you need to find an obgyn to go to. and if needed get insurance"


Getting emancipated can't keep her boyfriend out of jail you realize that right? And some states will press charges with out the parents even reporting any thing. They have really cracked down on that here in the last few years.

KTSKDR Due March 20; 1 child; Indiana 246 posts
19th Feb '13
Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" Getting emancipated can't keep her boyfriend out of jail you realize that right? And some states will ... [snip!] ... press charges with out the parents even reporting any thing. They have really cracked down on that here in the last few years."


like i said more than once im not sure of the laws thats why i told her to look it up and i wasnt saying get emancipated to keep him outta jail. she was saying she wanted to move in with him and that her mom was gonna go crazy so if she does and things get bad she needs to know what to do to get emancipated

lov'n Morgan 17 kids; Hickory, North Carolina 2355 posts
19th Feb '13

emancipation for california(thats where your profile says you live) click the link at the bottom, it has a lot of good information:



http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-emancipation.htm



statutory rape laws in california...your best bet if you don't want him in jail is to tell all adults you don't know who the father is...



http://www.sexlaws.org/california_statutory_rape

Mak&Row 18 kids; Portland, Oregon 763 posts
19th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ToriHope:</b>" Red bottom , I understand where your coming from but your negativity is not needed, i am looking for advice and support thanks though "</blockquote>



It's not negativity...it's the honest truth. There is no sugar coating this...it's time to grow up.

3 kids; Intercourse, MD, United States 4616 posts
19th Feb '13

OP, you're the only one who can make this choice, but I'd think really hard before making the choice to become a mother at 16. Your life will change more than its even possible for you to realize. It sounds like you have a fractured home life. Having a baby isn't going to change that, or give you the love you think you need. I'd strongly suggest giving yourself the time to figure out who you are in life before taking on the huge task of molding another person



Regardless, you laid down and got pregnant. You have to tell your parents. Go out to dinner and break it to them.

LayLu 17 kids; Virginia 4007 posts
19th Feb '13

You asked for help and advice, and that's what everyone on here is trying to offer. Only some of us have been a pregnant teen (I wasn't one of them), but we've all had to tell our parents before. I had to deal with telling my fiance's parents who are die-hard Christians and still, to this day, even though I'm pregnant with his child, don't like us sleeping in the same room because we aren't married. I'm still alive! They got used to the idea and so will your mother. Pregnancy isn't something you can hide.. you need to tell her.



My fiance's sister waited until she was seven months pregnant to tell her parents (she's a bigger set girl so it was a little easier for her to hide) and once it was time for her baby to come, she had nothing. She hadn't been taking prenatals, she hadn't bought anything she needed, she wasn't prepared. I don't think you want to be in that situation. You need to tell your mother so she can get used to the idea sooner and so you can see an OB and get the care you need, get the prenatals, and make sure your little one is developing as he/she should be.



I understand you're keeping the baby, I get it.. but the first step in being a mother is putting your child first. You're clearly not doing that by hiding the situation from your mother and not getting the care you need. You just need to do it and get it over with. My mother and I are very close and she's extremely laid back and I was STILL terrified of telling her.. I just came out and said it, "Mom, I'm pregnant.." and she was scared at first but eventually got used to the idea and now can't wait to be a grandma. Just tell her!

tia4 Due July 24; 19 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 18 posts
19th Feb '13

i'm speaking from exp i had ,my first at 16 she is 10 now its not easy sweetie but im going 2 say this if you think you can handle being a young mom den you need 2 tell your mom you going need a good support system i hope your mom is understanding with your decision u make like my mom was good luck sweetie....

ToriHope Due November 8; California 8 posts
19th Feb '13

So basically if i have this baby my boyfriend goes to jail?

Rafael's Mommy ♥ Texas 764 posts
19th Feb '13

Hi Tori. I got pregnant when I was 14 so I know what you're going through. I don't know anything about statutory rape issues so I can't help you with that, but you can PM me any time you need to talk. Good luck hun.