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Bangtail 50 kids; Katy, Texas 7752 posts
22nd Feb '13

Well, I've been married almost 7 years without ever changing my name, so that argument doesn't really work. A lot can change when you're married. Then again, depending on your relationship, nothing may change at all. I think you're looking for some written documentation of his commitment and marriage doesn't guarantee that in the least.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Lauren + ?:</b>" Now that I am older I understand the why they did it did in the beginning. Your 16 year old daughter ... [snip!] ... they can. They not going to be the parents of the bride but guests and my mother hates that. She wants to control everything"</blockquote>




Perhaps there is a time to do some family healing. Life is very short. You have one mother, one father ect.... As a mom, I pray everyday that I don't f**k up my kids. I pray I don't hurt them so badly that they lose trust and faith in me. We don't get instruction books when they come and all we can do is wing it. I am sure if you ask them why things happened the way they did and talked thru the situation, some healing can begin. Maybe even some family counseling would be helpful. It would be awful to carry this with you into your marriage and for the rest of your life.



We all have demons and pains of our past that impede in our futures if we don't take care of them.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Sherwood:</b>" You keep saying that there is a financial incentive not to work, however most people make far more than ... [snip!] ... anyone who got married for any reason other than because they loved each other and wanted to commit their life to one another."</blockquote>




Uh huh cos you're not the one who said "Why did you get Married, for the tax breaks?" but yet here you apparently completely confused about this idea that anyone would Marry for tax breaks and that it is an incentive...... Yup coming from the very person suggesting Marriage for tax breaks, suggesting an incentive. Was that not you, no? Someone hack your account? Post that using your identity and here you are knowing absolutely nothing about it? ...... Mhmmm sure.

Hathor + A Due December 23 (girl); 16 kids; Spring, Texas 12834 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting Not tellin:" you find a way for your family to understand why he is the one for you and for them to all get along.

I can say that isn't going to happen.



My brother passed away when I was 15 and that was her favorite child. I know now that she just was trying to get control of her life but how she went it, is what drive us apart.
The golden child die and now her mistake is causing more mistake, people are now talking.

Mrs.Sherwood ☮ 31 Weeks Due January 12 (girl); Mesa, AZ, United States 4399 posts
status 22nd Feb '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Sherwood:</b>" You keep saying that there is a financial ... [snip!] ... hack your account? Post that using your identity and here you are knowing absolutely nothing about it? ...... Mhmmm sure."


Lol, just because I know of marrying for tax breaks, doesn't mean I associate with people that do. And it's called a "figure of speech". Try to keep up.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Lauren + ?:</b>" I can say that isn't going to happen. My brother passed away when I was 15 and that was her favorite ... [snip!] ... went it, is what drive us apart. The golden child die and now her mistake is causing more mistake, people are now talking. "</blockquote>




Don't beat yourself up. You don't know that 100%. All you can do is open the door. If they walk thru and work it out, great. Make it your terms. This is going to be your family. If they don't, it is your choice to close a door or not.




However, before you make those decisions, I would get your relationship in line with your SO and make sure you are both on the same page.

Mrs.Sherwood ☮ 31 Weeks Due January 12 (girl); Mesa, AZ, United States 4399 posts
status 22nd Feb '13
Quoting Captain Lauren + ?:" I can say that isn't going to happen. My brother passed away when I was 15 and that was her favorite ... [snip!] ... went it, is what drive us apart. The golden child die and now her mistake is causing more mistake, people are now talking. "


I'm so sorry about your brother hun. I hope that in time, you can show your parents that he is a good person and that you guys have a good relationship! :) It's tough when your parents disapprove of a relationship, they disapproved of my first relationship, but for good reason.

624582 Neilton, Washington 9312 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 624582:</b>" If you get it then you're focusing more on the ... [snip!] ... up was me being asked if the reason I got Married was for the "tax breaks" so that right there implies the incentive."


All that the the joint deduction is, is what the single rate is doubled. When you're married you typically split the household bills, yes? If one partner is not working then the working partner would have to carry the load for both of them, which the tax break is given to them for basically doing double duty.



So for that my husband owes $1,900 less than he would if he were to file separate. I'm not sure what the currency difference is, but does $1,900 for year seem like that handsome of an incentive for someone to get married and stay home? It will vary based off of income, btw. These numbers are just from our finances.



I'm not sure what you're talking about, I'll need to look into it, but when you say benefits it makes me think of our version of welfare. Perhaps those who cheat the system to get money every month, in some way shape or form? This is completely different, in my eyes than that. My husband and I are not on any sort of government assistance. The tax break we're getting is for what we/he pays into that "benefit pot", if that makes any sense. That is the simplest way I can put it, if I'm understanding you correctly.



Now some crazy tax nazi is going to come in here and give me the break down of where DH's tax pennies go. :wink:

Hathor + A Due December 23 (girl); 16 kids; Spring, Texas 12834 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Lauren + ?:</b>" Now that I am older I understand the ... [snip!] ... for the rest of your life. We all have demons and pains of our past that impede in our futures if we don't take care of them."

Now that I am away from them and we've talked a little but it is still very very tense.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Lauren + ?:</b>" Now that I am away from them and we've talked a little but it is still very very tense. "</blockquote>




I really hope you all can work past this.

Mrs.Sherwood ☮ 31 Weeks Due January 12 (girl); Mesa, AZ, United States 4399 posts
status 22nd Feb '13
Quoting 624582:" All that the the joint deduction is, is what the single rate is doubled. When you're married you typically ... [snip!] ... correctly. Now some crazy tax nazi is going to come in here and give me the break down of where DH's tax pennies go. :wink:"


I'm not seeing the incentive to stay home either. I'd be staying home whether we got an "incentive" or not.

Mrs.Sherwood ☮ 31 Weeks Due January 12 (girl); Mesa, AZ, United States 4399 posts
status 22nd Feb '13
Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Lauren + ?:</b>" Now that I am away from them and we've ... [snip!] ... and we've talked a little but it is still very very tense. "</blockquote> I really hope you all can work past this."

:!::!:
Same here, OP. I hope you can get everything figured out. Good luck hun. :)

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Sherwood:</b>" Lol, just because I know of marrying for tax breaks, doesn't mean I associate with people that do. And it's called a "figure of speech". Try to keep up."</blockquote>



So you know of people Marrying for tax breaks so therefor it does happen uh huh that's what I'm talking about, a Goverment setting up a situation whereby people get a tax break for nothing more than being Married...... Would you like to keep up? :roll:



Also you just said in your other post Marriage existed long before a legal document, correct! When it was nothing more than love in the couples heart and their commitment to each other when that is what "Marriage" ment and that was the only proof they needed for each other.... Now a "Marriage" doesn't exist unless there is a legal document to prove it, now
the love and commitment are apparently not proof of anything and the proof lays solely in the legal document. So yes reducing the Marriage to nothing more than the piece of paper and the legal document. So what have we established here that even the original traditional view of Marriage, the view of what was important between 2 people was the love and commitment in their hearts.... You know what I've been going about it.....



Yup I don't know what you were trying to prove either by saying Marriage existed before legal documents did but it only added to what I'm trying to get across so thanks very much :)

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 624582:</b>" All that the the joint deduction is, is what the single rate is doubled. When you're married you typically ... [snip!] ... correctly. Now some crazy tax nazi is going to come in here and give me the break down of where DH's tax pennies go. :wink:"</blockquote>




Yes I understand what you are saying and yes we do all that too but you don't get a tax break for it, you don't get a tax break for 2 people when one isn't working and if say something like that was introduced it certainly would not only be available to Married couples.




No I know what you are referring to and that is just called "benefit fraudsters". "Benefit Scroungers" is a term used to describe people obtaining money legally from the Goverment but are perceived to be "scrounging" regardless. You see the Goverment are thought to have created a system where it has made it too easy for people to just take from that benefit pot and become a reliant on them, this has led to national debt and a major backlash. In recent years a new party has came into power in Goverment and are reforming everything, our Prime Minister is announcing changes all the time and slowly the debt is getting under control so yes "benefit scrounging" is not looked at positively at all. It is a massive term all over the news, papers, it is a hot topic just in regular discussion day to day among friends.



I believe the types of changes that are happening here are causing huge protests and riots in other parts of Europe but it hasn't happened here yet.

Mrs.Sherwood ☮ 31 Weeks Due January 12 (girl); Mesa, AZ, United States 4399 posts
status 22nd Feb '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Sherwood:</b>" Lol, just because I know of marrying for ... [snip!] ... by saying Marriage existed before legal documents did but it only added to what I'm trying to get across so thanks very much :)"


You married for legal reasons. I married my husband because we wanted to religiously and otherwise commit ourselves to one another forever. You can try to downplay the importance of marriage as an institution between two people who truly love each other, but you clearly don't understand it so you aren't qualified to make those judgements. To me, marriage is not a "piece of paper", it is not about tax benefits or being able to make medical decisions for him. It's about being in love and wanting to be his wife. If you can't understand that, I'm done attemtping to explain it to you over and over again. As others have stated, you aren't the brightest and most legitimate debates are lost on you. Have a good one.