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real or not justsotired2013 Japan 66 posts
20th Feb '13

Husband and i have been split for a while and always get drawn back to each other.... he recently broke up with his gf got drunk and screwed a girl from his work... he opened up to me about things today... yes it hurt to hear but he was being honest... he went on about him having a sickness he felt he has a sex addiction..... he doesn't want to hurt me again.... went on about how these girls show him new positive attention and makes him feel good when things are shitty at home... i totally get that because i did it... he wasnt showing me the attention i needed and i got it from our former mutual best friend...
We spent the afternoon together and we flirted we talked... but i havent stopped crying since i dropped him off...
I told him i wasnt gonna wait forever and i was honestly thinking of moving back to where im from.... ive not been able to let him go and i dont think we will ever be together like we once were and i think it would be easier to move on... he said it would suck because he wouldn't get to see our daughter because of gas prices... well when he moved states he never even attempted to see her... thats another long story...
Im torn.....

kthx. Due January 13 (girl); Cleves, Ohio 66665 posts
20th Feb '13

Sex addiction is definitely real. Has he considered counseling? Usually, not always, there's an underlying cause for sex addiction... molestation during childhood, self-esteem issues, etc. A lot of it can be treated/coped with. That way you can get your husband back.

justsotired2013 Japan 66 posts
20th Feb '13

He was molested by his aunt as a child... his mother was/is a wh**e and abused him... sent him to foster homes... off to live with his aunt... he refuses a counselor because of horrible experience when he was a teenager... he says he has been talking to people online about it....
I know its real and i told him to for one quit putting himself in the situations... he knew when he had the lady over what was gonna happen.... reading all the signs online it is definitely him!! I dont want to lose my husband again... ive been fighting way to hard for a year to just give up now...

kthx. Due January 13 (girl); Cleves, Ohio 66665 posts
20th Feb '13
Quoting justsotired2013:" He was molested by his aunt as a child... his mother was/is a wh**e and abused him... sent him to foster ... [snip!] ... it is definitely him!! I dont want to lose my husband again... ive been fighting way to hard for a year to just give up now..."


He really does need to go to counseling. Once the sex stops fulfilling the need he has... he may turn to other things (drugs for instance). Have a serious talk with him... let him know you're willing to stay there with the kids and help him through it. The sex is a coping mechanism, not a cure. What happened to him was horrific, and I'm very sorry.. but it is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and I hope he can realize that for you and your children's sake.

justsotired2013 Japan 66 posts
20th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" He really does need to go to counseling. Once the sex stops fulfilling the need he has... he may turn ... [snip!] ... very sorry.. but it is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and I hope he can realize that for you and your children's sake. "</blockquote>



He has already had the drug problem and overcame it years ago..... now drinking is what he tends to turn to......
I told him i wanted to help him through this.... im just hoping its not some bs story to make excuses for what he does.... he doesnt have the best track record.... he has 5 kids with 4 different girls..... im his 3rd wife....
All my friends tell me to stay the hell away from him... they saw the hell ive been through with him..... when he left it destroyed me! I lost 50lbs in just a few months and i myself slept with people i didnt give a crap about... but now cant so much as even talk to a guy..

kthx. Due January 13 (girl); Cleves, Ohio 66665 posts
20th Feb '13
Quoting justsotired2013:" <blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" He really does need to go to counseling. Once the ... [snip!] ... in just a few months and i myself slept with people i didnt give a crap about... but now cant so much as even talk to a guy.."


Honestly, that's probably all because of what happened in his childhood. Definitely not trying to make excuses for him... cheating and being like that is not ever okay. But his actions are understandable. Though, if he isn't willing to at least try and talk to a counselor and get some help, you can't force him... and you'd be better off cutting your losses.

justsotired2013 Japan 66 posts
20th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" Honestly, that's probably all because of what happened in his childhood. Definitely not trying to make ... [snip!] ... to at least try and talk to a counselor and get some help, you can't force him... and you'd be better off cutting your losses."</blockquote>



I think it all makes perfect sense on why he has done what he has done.... he wont go talk to someone but will do it by phone or online... ive been googling it as well... i want to help him.... we had a great life going... since hebleft its been nothing but struggle almost homeless going to churches for food... we never struggled like that!!
We have done alot of horrible things to each other and agreed tonight notnto throw our past in each others faces or bring up faults or things we did... made a comment about how good our life was and he said the counselor told him that was like a put down and sets him up for failure.... idk...