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CIO issue Shelby Chappell Due November 29 (girl); 1 child; Alberta 1575 posts
20th Feb '13

My husband says that 30 minutes leaving our 4/12 month old is ok enough to teach him boundires. I say that is NOT ok. We are arguing about it and I said, that is not ok. He said as mommas on baby gaga so I am. 30 minutes for a 4 1/2 month old is not ok for CIO. If we want to do CIO I'm pretty sure we need to do it in WAY less time amounts. I still dont like the CIO method but my husband is sure that is the only way we can train him to not be so demanding...I dont like this at all. Im doing this post on his request. I dont agree with his methods at all. I hope this shows him that leaving an infant to cry for 30 minutes straight is NOT OK

Ashley; Kenley's Mommy! 1 child; Wisconsin 15117 posts
20th Feb '13

Wow, he's stupid. A 4 month old shouldn't CIO at all..

Binky ♡ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 6236 posts
20th Feb '13

For a almost 5 month old? No IMO that is too long. I didn't even start letting my kids CIO until they were at least 10 months old.

Shelby Chappell Due November 29 (girl); 1 child; Alberta 1575 posts
20th Feb '13

TY!!!!! 10 characters....

SherryandMatt Due February 15; 1 child; 6 angel babies; Arizona 3860 posts
20th Feb '13

Too young and way too long:( Listen to your mommy instincts.. I don't think men quite always get it...

P3RvYmCp3rv 2 kids; Carlyle, Illinois 11904 posts
20th Feb '13

Too young to even think about CIO.

~Raylan's Mama~ 1 child; Tennessee 2116 posts
20th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shelby Chappell:</b>" My husband says that 30 minutes leaving our 4/12 month old is ok enough to teach him boundires. I say ... [snip!] ... I dont agree with his methods at all. I hope this shows him that leaving an infant to cry for 30 minutes straight is NOT OK"</blockquote>




Absolutely NOT!!! Not even 5 minutes is ok at that age!

SophieKay 2 kids; Ontario 313 posts
20th Feb '13

Wow, he is WAY off base. Four months is too young for sleep training at all in my opinion, he still requires a lot of attention at night. Don't push too far too young or it'll have the opposite effect. A baby who feels unsafe is a clingy baby, I'm sure your husband won't be thrilled dealing with sleepless nights with a toddler with separation anxiety.

October2011 2 kids; Pennsylvania 6807 posts
20th Feb '13

No way jose.

ma ♥ 1 child; California 63053 posts
20th Feb '13

Google until he believes you! (I have some good links if you need help :D )
CIO can cause brain damage & emotional issues on such a young infant. Why would he do something that's damaging to your child?



What's wrong with LO? Maybe we can give some suggestions on what to do....

~~~~~~~~~~~ Thailand 339 posts
20th Feb '13

4 month olds don't need to learn boundaries! He's way too young. If he's crying, he needs something, even if it's just cuddles. Tell your husband he won't be a baby forever.

ma ♥ 1 child; California 63053 posts
20th Feb '13

I'm also curious as to know why he thinks a 4 month old infant needs to learn boundaries? lol

Thorian's Mommy 1 child; Westbrook, ME, United States 8409 posts
20th Feb '13

thats to young. LO fights sleep really bad so we have his crib right next to our bed. when he gets really tired i let him fuss for a minute but im there rubbing his back. if he gets to overhwhelmed i then pick him up but thats as far as it goes. but its usually our last resort.

SophieKay 2 kids; Ontario 313 posts
20th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Thorian's Mommy:</b>" thats to young. LO fights sleep really bad so we have his crib right next to our bed. when he gets really ... [snip!] ... rubbing his back. if he gets to overhwhelmed i then pick him up but thats as far as it goes. but its usually our last resort."</blockquote>




See, that's reasonable. When DD was little if I had tried everything and was at my breaking point I would set her down to give myself a chance to breathe, but I never did it to teach her a lesson and it was exceedingly rare. 4 month olds don't understand cause and effect. It's not like he's thinking "daddy put me here because I need to learn to self soothe" he's thinking "ah! I'm alone and my food source is gone and why isn't anyone listening to me!". At four months his feeling of security takes precedence.

Shelby Chappell Due November 29 (girl); 1 child; Alberta 1575 posts
20th Feb '13

he still doesnt agree. he will never do it. i wont do it, i dont feel right about it. i dont know what his issue is but we just got in a huge fight about it and i end up feeling like the big c**t... to upset to talk about it but he's wrong. i know he's wrong and i wont go with his demands