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late night D&D S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3674 posts
22nd Feb '13

a previous post of mine sparked a certain interest in me that I'd like some debating on if anyone is up for it!



Is it okay to allow mentally disabled people to do as they please because "they are mentally disabled" (as quoted from someone else on here) or is there a line/limit?



basically, is it okay to allow them to do as they please because of their handicap? or is there a line that can be crossed? should they be treated as another without the handicap? or be given certain "privileges"?



ex: a mentally disabled person (in my case, an 11-13 year old, not sure of exact age), randomly walking into your home, peeing on your lawn repeatedly, antagonizing you, threatening you, cursing you out, calling your newborn baby "ugly," banging on, and yelling through, the walls of the row home through all hours of the night, and making obscene gestures and words while trying to have a family party involving little children, etc.



would you let it go because they are mentally disabled? or try to fix the situation with the parents? (where in my case, are both crack heads and it feels like talking to a brick wall and a broken record), let certain things go? take certain things more seriously?




I'm just curious! Do not quote me, and I do apologize in advance if this post offends anyone in anyway because I know some people get offended if you don't use the "politically correct" term and this may just be an all around touchy subject for some.

P3RvYmCp3rv 2 kids; Carlyle, Illinois 11903 posts
22nd Feb '13

I think with everybody disabled or not there needs to be limits. Can you call CPS? I mean is there any living conditions in which the child could be placed in a better environment.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11952 posts
22nd Feb '13

I don't believe that behavior is ever ok. and if the handicap is that bad they need 24 hour supervision.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3674 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" I think with everybody disabled or not there needs to be limits. Can you call CPS? I mean is there any living conditions in which the child could be placed in a better environment. "


oh hell yes! the mother is obviously on some sort of drug. I only say crack because she looks like a crack head. There have been times where I came home late ( around 1-2am), she was on her front lawn rolling around in a silk night gown, and her kid was running around in nothing but a tank and shorts. and it was december.



the language this child uses is even things I wouldn't say. hell, half the things this kid does is nothing I've seen a child that young do.

P3RvYmCp3rv 2 kids; Carlyle, Illinois 11903 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting ♥ logan's mommy:" oh hell yes! the mother is obviously on some sort of drug. I only say crack because she looks like a ... [snip!] ... this child uses is even things I wouldn't say. hell, half the things this kid does is nothing I've seen a child that young do. "

I would call CPs and report you have concerns over child welfare!

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3674 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" I don't believe that behavior is ever ok. and if the handicap is that bad they need 24 hour supervision."


agreed. SO's uncle is also mentally disabled. and we treat him no differently because he always says how he doesn't want to be treated any differently.



I honestly didn't know this kid was disabled for the first few months living there. You can't physically tell. So I thought it was just a crazy ass bad kid, so I tried talking to the mom, she ended up going on about how her husband is a swinger..........so we got no where on the subject of her kid.



It's to the point where his behavior is waking up DS all hours of the night because you can hear him through the wall of our row home.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3674 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" I would call CPs and report you have concerns over child welfare! "


I don't want to be the b***h to do that :shock: but it IS anonymous, right? I've never called CPS before.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11952 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting ♥ logan's mommy:" I don't want to be the b***h to do that :shock: but it IS anonymous, right? I've never called CPS before. "


You can choose to remain anonymous. And honestly if that kids is not getting the help and care he needs you would be a b***h not to call.

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
22nd Feb '13

Mentally disabled individuals are completely capable of learning (something that people tend to forget). They may grasp simple concepts much slower and more basic, but there is no reason for a young person to be urinating in public and shouting obscenities. They are perfectly capable of learning what is socially acceptable and what is right and wrong. This behavior is indicative that they aren't being taught these things at the home. Most likely the parents have the same unfortunate attitude most do about the disabled- oh they're retarded, just let them be!



Also, to the people suggesting she call child welfare- most likely the child's school has already informed social services because I'm certain this behavior extends to their school life. However, multiple calls on the same child may yield faster results!

P3RvYmCp3rv 2 kids; Carlyle, Illinois 11903 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" You can choose to remain anonymous. And honestly if that kids is not getting the help and care he needs you would be a b***h not to call."

This!!!!!!

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3674 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" You can choose to remain anonymous. And honestly if that kids is not getting the help and care he needs you would be a b***h not to call."


True. The girl in my last post called me the b***h because I was frustrated and annoyed after dealing with this for months. She basically said I shouldn't feel this way and just let him do whatever because he can't control it since he is handicapped.



I do believe there IS a line, his parent's aren't parenting. I don't know of a 11-13 year old that says and does half of the things this child does. It's just getting beyond crazy at this point.



I was just curious what you all felt as well!

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3674 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting bbbt:" Mentally disabled individuals are completely capable of learning (something that people tend to forget). ... [snip!] ... I'm certain this behavior extends to their school life. However, multiple calls on the same child may yield faster results! "


totally agreed! SO's uncle is also mentally handicapped, but does understand things and we can explain things to him. It may take a little longer, but he does learn and understand. I treat him no differently than I would my own uncle without the handicap.



That's why I went on a rant about the kid. I'm not attacking him for being handicapped. It's his attitude and behavior is just out of line for a child that young.

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting ♥ logan's mommy:" totally agreed! SO's uncle is also mentally handicapped, but does understand things and we can explain ... [snip!] ... kid. I'm not attacking him for being handicapped. It's his attitude and behavior is just out of line for a child that young."


I completely understand, I would be frustrated as well.

DeanJade&Mak's Mom 3 kids; Covina, CA, United States 8822 posts
22nd Feb '13

My uncle has down syndrome....



He has gone into nieghbors houses, because he's nosey, I'm not sure why he hasn't got the shit beaten out of him yet... once people see him its obvious he's not *normal* so they think, "ohhh poor thing, he's lost, or whatever, :roll: and he knows what he's doing... he plays into it and acts dumb till one of us shows up then he gets uneasy and nervous



(my moms been caregiver to him since my grandpa got sick then died so I lived with him from 10ish till I graduated college. 2nd time lol soo till 23)



1 time at 16 I was watching hin from window, he went thru nieghbors mail, then opened door, I called cops... they rang his ass then I came out and snitched more,...
It wasn't till I was 20ish when he started doing it again...

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
22nd Feb '13

When first reading the dabate I though - meh...depends on situations, level of behaviour, type of handicap.




In the case you gave for example. This does not sound like a handicap issue nearly as much as a shit parent situation.



Dealing with the boy yourself is probably not best as his issues are bigger then you can help with. As you stated his parents are worthless to speak to....In this case authorities need to be involved for the benefit of this child.