Reply
Good god you are boring. Mrs. Cartman Gardnerville, Nevada 5895 posts
22nd Feb '13

I am beyond bored with my husband. We have been together for four years, married for two,and recently moved cross country from California to NC. Outlast base was small and dingy , an hour from base and an hour from town, so we had to make due with the entertainment we had. Mind you California is a very expensive state, so we couldn't afford much. Moving to NC has been very fruitful for us. He has been for a long enough time so his raise actually counts, this new base is filled with things to do, and we are fifteen minutes from a bigger town but I feel like half the time I'm baby sitting a five year old, the other half I'm taking care of an 85 year old. He has turned bitter and ungrateful and beyond boring. To add to that, his last job was maintainance, while this new job is a desk job, so I know for a fact it's not that he is tired. Every night it's either video games or tv and I have had it. It has effected our sex life too. I can honestly say I haven't had an orgasm from having sex for a year or so. I'm really starting to get annoyed with him, his lifestyle and where he wants our relationship to go. We don't have any kids, and plan on popping two within the next five years, so what's the hold up? Lets do something fun and exciting, lets do something crazy. I feel like I'm married to my gran pa and at this point, divorce is starting to become more and more an option. Am I crazy ?

Brandi Milam 3 angel babies; Tucson, Arizona 574 posts
22nd Feb '13

WOW! He needs to be more active with you. But also maybe he is having a hard time adjusting to having a desk job. Sit him down and talk about it. Don't just divorce him. See if you can help him through it.

Mrs. Cartman Gardnerville, Nevada 5895 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Brandi Milam:</b>" WOW! He needs to be more active with you. But also maybe he is having a hard time adjusting to having ... [snip!] ... adjusting to having a desk job. Sit him down and talk about it. Don't just divorce him. See if you can help him through it."</blockquote>



I'm just tired of being his mommy, blow doll and assistance while I get NOTHING in return. Before we got married, he got cod, feet over the possibility of him feeling how I do right now, and now I got it and completely understand why he felt bad enough about it to get cold feet. I don't work, not by choice and always felt like that should have been enough for him to understand, I need to do things, I need to be active and enjoy my life. It could also be our age difference. I'm almost 23 , he is almost 30.

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
22nd Feb '13

I don't want to come off as a b***h by saying this so please don't take it the wrong way--



but odds are he isn't happy either. He probably doesn't want to do anything with you because, well, you no longer interest him. If he used to be active with you and his personality has just suddenly changed, he isn't "boring", he is most likely depressed. You two need to have a serious talk.

NopeNotGonnaDOIt 6 kids; Cuba 3000 posts
22nd Feb '13

start planning stuff and make him go out, maybe he's depressed and needs someone to motivate him.

tonys_mama(army wife) 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Fort Irwin, California 15523 posts
22nd Feb '13

Have you talked to him about how you feel? We're you in this little hell hole I call home lol jk?

Mrs. Cartman Gardnerville, Nevada 5895 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I don't want to come off as a b***h by saying this so please don't take it the wrong way-- but odds ... [snip!] ... his personality has just suddenly changed, he isn't "boring", he is most likely depressed. You two need to have a serious talk."</blockquote>




We made our life style active. I used to suggest something and he used to go with it. Or the other way around, and that tradition died when we moved.i honestly don't want to talk to him, because I'm afraid of opening a can of emotional worms for both of us. A whole lotta crying and heart to hearts that will lead to nothing, or worse , him promising to do more next pay check, forgetting and causing more disappointments. I know nothing will change if I don't talk to him, but the fear of nothing changing even if I do talk to him is getting worse.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55982 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Cartman:</b>" I am beyond bored with my husband. We have been together for four years, married for two,and recently ... [snip!] ... I feel like I'm married to my gran pa and at this point, divorce is starting to become more and more an option. Am I crazy ?"</blockquote>




Communicate this with him

NopeNotGonnaDOIt 6 kids; Cuba 3000 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting Mrs. Cartman:" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I don't want to come off as a b***h by saying this ... [snip!] ... I know nothing will change if I don't talk to him, but the fear of nothing changing even if I do talk to him is getting worse."


It could be fun exploring what your new town has to offer, maybe suggest trying to go someplace new at least once or twice a week to start. Take turns picking places. Just tell him you are bored and need to do this for your sanity... and you miss having fun with him.

*Queen Bitch* (Expecting! Due December 20; TTC since Aug 2013; Georgia 1635 posts
22nd Feb '13

You should talk to him and try to fix things first. I believe in working hard at fixing a relationship before giving up on it though. My SO and I have been through a lot together. Any time I'm upset with him, I talk to him about he and he usually tries to fix it.

Mrs. Cartman Gardnerville, Nevada 5895 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama❍:</b>" It could be fun exploring what your new town has to offer, maybe suggest trying to go someplace new ... [snip!] ... turns picking places. Just tell him you are bored and need to do this for your sanity... and you miss having fun with him. "</blockquote>




I have to,I know I do, it's just a matter of me not knowing when is the right time to.

A&Ms Mommy 2 kids; North Carolina 10863 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Cartman:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brandi Milam:</b>" WOW! He needs to be more active with you. ... [snip!] ... need to do things, I need to be active and enjoy my life. It could also be our age difference. I'm almost 23 , he is almost 30."</blockquote>




Have yiu tried to talk to him? I wouldnt blame it on age my DH is 31 im 22 we have been together for 5 years married for almost 2 we are nothing like that.

Mrs. Cartman Gardnerville, Nevada 5895 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 3+1=4:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Cartman:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brandi ... [snip!] ... I wouldnt blame it on age my DH is 31 im 22 we have been together for 5 years married for almost 2 we are nothing like that."</blockquote>




Well not every man deals with turning third the same. For him it's a huge milestone he is afraid of facing or admitting. If turning thirty is anything like turning 20 and the responsibilities that came with it, I don't blame him

NopeNotGonnaDOIt 6 kids; Cuba 3000 posts
22nd Feb '13
Quoting Mrs. Cartman:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mama❍:</b>" It could be fun exploring what your new ... [snip!] ... fun with him. "</blockquote> I have to,I know I do, it's just a matter of me not knowing when is the right time to."


The sooner the better. It IS Friday night :^)

A&Ms Mommy 2 kids; North Carolina 10863 posts
22nd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Cartman:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting 3+1=4:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Cartman:</b>" ... [snip!] ... or admitting. If turning thirty is anything like turning 20 and the responsibilities that came with it, I don't blame him"</blockquote>



True. My DH didnt give a shit about turning 30 his tune may change at 40 :P lkke I said talk to him about it. Make a date night jar where you pick something out of the jar every week or every other week that yiu have to go and do. Dh and I did this and we both put ideas into the jar. We do it once a month since we need a sitter.