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Must-read article! And a question, of course. hiljoys Michigan 83 posts
23rd Feb '13

I came across this article on another website yesterday, and I found it to be one of the best I've ever read (about being a mother, the feelings, etc.) - It's so brutally honest (I got a little teary - won't lie. I'm so emotional lately!), and it made me feel a tid-bit more sane again. Read and enjoy :)
http://www.renegademothering.com/2013/02/09/i-became-a-mother-and-died-to-live/




My question - what have you ladies (or men) given up to be a mother (father)?



I feel like I've given up everything. I have no hobbies anymore, and only do something for me once or twice a month. I don't know if this is "fair" or not, but this is what it's like now. Anyone else not have much "you" time? I can't even remember what it feels like. I don't even know what I would do if I had me time. I just hope I learn to love the new me.



I guess this is a good place to vent our frustrations - I really like this site :)



Now, your turn!

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15005 posts
23rd Feb '13

I really don't know what I would/could have given up. I went from being a kid, to having a kid =/



I got pregnant at 18, had her at 19, so I don't know what I would have missed out on. The only thing I can think of is I sure do miss that 18 year old bikini body *sigh*

Manda♥Bella 1 child; Midland, WA, Australia 29288 posts
23rd Feb '13

My daughter goes to her fathers every 2nd weekend & I work 45-50hrs a week, I get plenty of time away.



I struggled when I didn't work and she didn't go to her dads, not as a newbie, but once she hit about 11-12 months I started hating being a mum, I never got alone time, I struggled financially(single mum) and mentally and I just hated life. I started working again when she was 15m and loved it! Now I love being a mum :)



She's almost 4 now and I don't feel I've given up anything in the last year to be her parent. I have everything I want, I spend my money on what I want and I can do what I want. I definitely don't feel like I'm 'just a mum' anymore

hiljoys Michigan 83 posts
23rd Feb '13
Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" I really don't know what I would/could have given up. I went from being a kid, to having a kid =/ I ... [snip!] ... don't know what I would have missed out on. The only thing I can think of is I sure do miss that 18 year old bikini body *sigh*"


I understand where you're coming from..



I wasn't 18, but close enough - I had my son at 21 and I will be 23 this July. I never gave myself a chance to be young.. I sort of feel like I robbed myself! I get bitter about it a lot, but then I look at my son. I don't know what I'd do without him :) I think it'll just be a struggle for awhile.



Yesss, I miss my body too :( My stomach/legs will not bounce back! I looked at some of the pictures on the post about postpartum bodies - that was depressing! Those ladies look ridiculously good!

drunk faith1 1 child; Alabama 10081 posts
23rd Feb '13

Ive given up everything. I'm pretty much not even my own person anymore. I get lost in everything and now I'm just DD's mom.

Manda♥Bella 1 child; Midland, WA, Australia 29288 posts
23rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" I really don't know what I would/could have given up. I went from being a kid, to having a kid =/ I ... [snip!] ... don't know what I would have missed out on. The only thing I can think of is I sure do miss that 18 year old bikini body *sigh*"</blockquote>




I was 18 when I had my daughter and I disagree, there is a lot I gave up even at 18 to be her mother. I don't feel I give up anything anymore because the things I want to have and do are things I want to involve her in. But I still gave up a lot in the beginning

hiljoys Michigan 83 posts
23rd Feb '13
Quoting Manda♥Bella:" My daughter goes to her fathers every 2nd weekend & I work 45-50hrs a week, I get plenty of time away. ... [snip!] ... I want, I spend my money on what I want and I can do what I want. I definitely don't feel like I'm 'just a mum' anymore"


I can see how working could make you feel so much better.



I stay at home currently, and I feel like I have a tough time with it every day. I want to work, but I don't want to bring my baby to day care. I think it would help to get away a couple times a week for a few hours - I thought about working at a coffee shop or something flexible like that.. but I don't have a regular sitter that I can trust.



It's hard when you feel like you've lost yourself. I keep trying to hold onto any little bit left that resembles the old me.. just trying to keep positive!



Glad you feel better now! There's a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere :)

hiljoys Michigan 83 posts
23rd Feb '13
Quoting FaithLovesPussyCats:" Ive given up everything. I'm pretty much not even my own person anymore. I get lost in everything and now I'm just DD's mom."


I feel the same.



I keep telling my husband that I miss me, and I hate looking in the mirror and wondering who I am or where I went. I know, sounds lame, but it's true.

Gemmas mommy! 1 child; Deposit, New York 1893 posts
23rd Feb '13

I'm 18, and I have given up everything that my life used to be, all I do is stay home and take care of DD. I don't regret it one but though my life my not be the norm for an 18 year old but I love my life.

Bri + One ♥ Due October 19; 1 child; Florida 4316 posts
23rd Feb '13

I gave up sleep, hot meals, long showers & privacy. But in all honesty, I don't mind. The day I found out I was pregnant everything changed, my son saved my life. And for that, I owe it to him to be the best mommy I can be. Even if that means never having "me time" again.

hiljoys Michigan 83 posts
23rd Feb '13
Quoting Gemmas mommy!:" I'm 18, and I have given up everything that my life used to be, all I do is stay home and take care of ... [snip!] ... home and take care of DD. I don't regret it one but though my life my not be the norm for an 18 year old but I love my life."


Wow, I'm glad you're happy. It's kind of refreshing to hear of someone so young that accepts their new life for everything it is.



I love my son too, but I can't seem to get past some of the feelings that I have. Even when I do get "me time" I still think about him, what he's doing.. is he okay? I even feel selfish for it a lot of the time! I hope that eventually goes away, and I can learn to relax a little bit.



Keep being positive!

drunk faith1 1 child; Alabama 10081 posts
23rd Feb '13
Quoting hiljoys:" I feel the same. I keep telling my husband that I miss me, and I hate looking in the mirror and wondering who I am or where I went. I know, sounds lame, but it's true. "

I can relate. It's like I just disappeared.

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15005 posts
23rd Feb '13
Quoting Manda♥Bella:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" I really don't know what I would/could ... [snip!] ... because the things I want to have and do are things I want to involve her in. But I still gave up a lot in the beginning"

I guess I gave up a lot of opportunity. But my parents were a little different. My Dad was really strict and I didn't get to do a lot of things that other kids got to do.

Gemmas mommy! 1 child; Deposit, New York 1893 posts
23rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting hiljoys:</b>" Wow, I'm glad you're happy. It's kind of refreshing to hear of someone so young that accepts their new ... [snip!] ... for it a lot of the time! I hope that eventually goes away, and I can learn to relax a little bit. Keep being positive!"</blockquote>




Thank you, good luck to you, I haven't even hotten me time yet so I probably would do the same thing message me anytime if you would like.