.Solange. 1 child; Montreal, 5566 posts23rd Feb '13
My son is so precious. He deserves a family. He deserves a father who will play ball with him and who will teach him how to treat a lady right. He doesn't deserve a fucked up single mother. I ruined everything
user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts23rd Feb '13
Quoting .Solange.:" Thanks. I just wish I hadn't read the last sentence. That was kinda a trigger. Maybe everything he ... [snip!] ... he did was normal and im the crazy one. I know i'm crazy. Maybe that's why everyone I love seems to disappear. I hate myself"
Im not trying to trigger you, Im just not good at sugar coating.
I was in an extremely abusive relationship and I thought the same, that HE and the way he treated me was normal and it was ME who must of been fucked up.
Luckily I had great friends and family and was able to heal out of that.
Its been over a year, and you have a child. You need to find and get the skills to heal from the damage he has done to you before you DO end it as you clearly wrote in your post.
Bad Things 1 child; Climax, Michigan 14078 posts23rd Feb '13
Quoting .Solange.:" My son is so precious. He deserves a family. He deserves a father who will play ball with him and who ... [snip!] ... with him and who will teach him how to treat a lady right. He doesn't deserve a fucked up single mother. I ruined everything"
That man doesnt have to be his father.
I was raised by a teenage mother, and while everything wasnt rainbows all the time, it was 10x better then seeing my biological father abuse her, me, and seeing him in and out of prison. I am SO thankful she left him and your LO will be, too. It took my mother 6 years to find my "dad" and he is the best dad I could have ever asked for.
You will find someone, too, that is worthy of you and your son. I promise that.
JohnSilverSmith TTC since Dec 2011; 3 kids; Groton, Connecticut 465 posts23rd Feb '13
Quoting .Solange.:" You know when people use the expression "I gave him my heart''. Well I literally did. It's been over ... [snip!] ... I just want to stop hurting. I want to close my eyes and just sleep forever or just enough to wash away the pain I feel inside."I'm in a crappy situation too. People tell me to get over it. I can't either. Who says that you have to. Some people would argue that it isn't healthy. Is moving on and forgetting completely healthy either? It shows that you cared about the relationship and you HAVE feelings. I don't see anything wrong with it. If you are able to come to terms with it, then let that be the case. Joe DiMaggio NEVER got over Marilyn Monroe. He never remarried. I think that most people would consider him a fine upstanding citizen.
user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts23rd Feb '13
i dont think she means you are crazy crazy. i think she meant that the relationship did a number on your head. its not your fault you are having issues. but how you act on them and guide your life is. i hope all works out for you.