I left my husband, depending on who you talk to I either got kicked out or
Moved out a week ago. I was just taking stuff out to put in storage. He up screaming about anything that could pop into his head. All of a sudden I'm now a drug addict (because I was making stone tobacco bowls for my brothers). I'm a cheating whore (I didn't let him search my phone 24/7). I caught him yet again talking to and sending pictures to transsexuals and women on his fake Facebook and email. Lovely. He wrote some letters to me. I will see if another BG member can post pics of those later.. He was clearly trying to get me to stay with him and when I said no, I'm leaving he flipped out. Said "so choice is yours". To sum it up he said you either choose to stay with me and keep your kids, or you leave me and lose them. He doesn't care for those boys. At all. Then today I found out that he had opened my paycheck. His name isn't on it and it does not concern him; it's illegal to open my mail at this point. The only reason he was able to get it is because my change of address didn't go through until after my check was mailed. Post office wouldn't hold it for me. Whatever! Ugh! Fucking bastard.
Then tonight I called him and asked him to let me have the kids for the night. He said "well I want them at church in the morning", this is entirely true- I said my
Landlord invited me
To church tomorrow morning so they still would be going. He asked which one, I've honestly never been there before I honestly can't say. Then he says "well unless you tell me where they are going I can't let you have them. Read the papers"
The papers he referred to is a shared parenting plan, 50/50. He thinks saying that justifies what he is doing. All he's doing is setting himself up for contempt of court. Nowhere in that plan does it say I have to tell him where the kids are staying. Even if it did, me being in protective custody completely would void that! There is an open domestic violence case against him. I was put in a safe house (which is the bomb and totally perfect for kids). His letters and texts to me worked in my favor. It showed the police enough evidence to take action against him. So it's truly serious.
I don't have the $1,800 retainer fee I need for my attorney yet.. Barely surviving right now. I only just started my job the beginning of January. It's $250 just to start divorce papers, another $100 to file the contempt charges. I can't afford a sitter and my oldest goes to school right next to where I used to live. It's a hot mess..
Holy cow lady, that is a lot to get off your chest. I am truly sorry you have to go through all of this! It seems like he is trying to use your children against you to get back at you which is not right in the least. I hope everything gets figured out!
You don't have to tell him anything. He sounds like a douche :?
This is a civil issue, not a criminal issue. The police can't do anything. They can only refer you to a magistrate and they can decide whether or not to file a contempt of court.
If you're this unhappy or concerned, file the papers yourself. You don't NEED an attorney to go to court.
I have never hired an attorney. I'm not an idiot, I'm well organized, and I have good intentions. So I have represented myself and have never had any issue.
File for custody on your own.
Breathe, mama. I am incredibly happy you finally jetted out of there. I'm sorry that your babies had to stay behind and that for now you were only awarded 50/50. :( And I wish I lived closer so I could help you out with childcare!
<blockquote><b>Quoting Laventure_Adventure:</b>" Holy cow lady, that is a lot to get off your chest. I am truly sorry you have to go through all of this! ... [snip!] ... trying to use your children against you to get back at you which is not right in the least. I hope everything gets figured out!"</blockquote>
He is 100% doing this for revenge. Doctor thinks he is bipolar, but he refuses to get help on top of that.
Red bottom, he has an attorney. I know this one and he has a tendency of screwing the other party badly. I'm not taking any chances. I would still also need to come up with the money just to start the process. Not everyone is so well organized and orderly. I'm only 21 and there is too much at risk to go it alone. I do appreciate what you had to say. I am documenting and saving everything every day. I do know this is a civil issue. Or else I would have been that idiot who calls the cops. The police department got involved only in the domestic violence situation. He was starting fights to intimidate me, came close to getting physical last week, and there's clear proof of emotional abuse (manipulation; using the children for control). The 50/50 plan was filed months ago when things were civilized. It needs to be updated. I want full custody and the attorney I would be getting feels it would be easy to get full custody just based on his work schedule alone. I go to work at 4am and I'm back by 2, 5 days a week. He works 3:30p-1am. Half of my work day they are in bed, other half in school or at the sitters for a couple hours. I had them from the time I got home until I left for work the next time. He hardly sees them for more than 2 hours of the day. He thinks accusing me of being a pot addict (not possible, tested clean twice at work) will mean he can win this. He'll be so screwed in the end.. But until this crap goes through, it's going to be hell because he is making it hell. He even told the ER staff (youngest was left UNATTENDED and fell the other day-I was working) that my youngest wasnt sleeping very well at all all week. Gee, I fucking wonder why.... The boys always slept next to me, every night. Not him, me.
Quoting Gir!:" Red bottom, he has an attorney. I know this one and he has a tendency of screwing the other party badly. ... [snip!] ... sleeping very well at all all week. Gee, I fucking wonder why.... The boys always slept next to me, every night. Not him, me."
If there's a police report about him being violent, go to the courthouse and file for emergency custody until you can get an attorney.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" If there's a police report about him being violent, go to the courthouse and file for emergency custody until you can get an attorney. "</blockquote>
That's Monday's agenda. It was already being mapped out. I have to get a babysitter first because the current sitter is siding with him just because he's paying her, her contract was with me though. I never received the copy of said contract so I can't contest her. She told me that if I went onto her property she's call Cody and the cops. So screw her! I'm working with the county in getting child care services arranged for when I need to work. I just came on here to vent really.
Quoting Gir!:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" If there's a police report about him being ... [snip!] ... working with the county in getting child care services arranged for when I need to work. I just came on here to vent really."
You have equal rights to the child so she can call the cops all she wants. In fact, you should go pick up your child so that it's on record that your husband told her to call the police if you came to get your child, knowing that he was just doing it to try and scare/control you. It'll show he's playing dirty.
As far as the emergency custody, the longer you wait to file, the less it's going to seem like you're genuinely concerned for their safety.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" You have equal rights to the child so she can call the cops all she wants. In fact, you should go pick ... [snip!] ... emergency custody, the longer you wait to file, the less it's going to seem like you're genuinely concerned for their safety."</blockquote>
I can't do anything until Monday. I did call the domestic violence line last night to ask about the situation and see if there was anything I could do over the weekend