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Not bonding during pregnancy? Aryann's Mommy Due May 14; 1 child; Camas, Washington 172 posts
24th Feb '13

I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with a little boy and I feel no bond to him at all. I almost feel like I could have him tomorrow and hand him over to some one and walk away. I HATE feeling like this, but I don't know what to do. Please tell me I'm not the only one to go through this?

Cecily's Mama 1 child; 3778 posts
24th Feb '13

It is perfectly normal if you don't feel a bond. Many mothers feel this way; just wait until you hold that precious baby, your feelings will change.

Serial Mom ✄ 18 kids; Michigan 2690 posts
24th Feb '13

Normal. Hell, some moms take a while to bond with their babies even after they're born and even that's normal. Just give it time and I'm sure you'll forge a bond with him.

Aryann's Mommy Due May 14; 1 child; Camas, Washington 172 posts
24th Feb '13

I'm praying that will happen! I actually resented getting pregnant again a few months ago, so it seems to be getting better but my husband is now saying no more babies because this one is a boy and he feels we are done. I hope he comes out with a vagina!

Two Princesses 2 kids; San Pedro, CA, United States 7196 posts
24th Feb '13
Quoting Aryann's Mommy:" I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with a little boy and I feel no bond to him at all. I almost feel like ... [snip!] ... and walk away. I HATE feeling like this, but I don't know what to do. Please tell me I'm not the only one to go through this?"



My mom felt this way during her pregnancy with my now 6 year old brother. Said she didn't have that with any of her girls though.
She loves the shit out of that kid now, so I wouldn't worry.

Aryann's Mommy Due May 14; 1 child; Camas, Washington 172 posts
24th Feb '13

I'm just terrified that when he's here there will be no bond, but it does make me feel better that this is normal.

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
24th Feb '13

I had periods of time where I didn't really feel "attached". Sometimes when DS wouldn't move I would kind of forget I was pregnant. Sometimes I felt like I knew I should be head over heels with him, but I didn't really feel it.



I think it can be normal. Its hard I guess because sometimes pregnancy can feel so surreal. Like you know you are growing this baby, but it doesn't really seem like it is real sometimes. I went through that a lot with DS. But after having him I have that amazing attachment that you would expect to have. Just wait until you give birth.

Aryann's Mommy Due May 14; 1 child; Camas, Washington 172 posts
24th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting White Chocolate Milk:</b>" I had periods of time where I didn't really feel "attached". Sometimes when DS wouldn't move I would ... [snip!] ... lot with DS. But after having him I have that amazing attachment that you would expect to have. Just wait until you give birth."</blockquote>



I wonder if having a c-section will effect our bonding.

Two Princesses 2 kids; San Pedro, CA, United States 7196 posts
24th Feb '13
Quoting Aryann's Mommy:" I'm just terrified that when he's here there will be no bond, but it does make me feel better that this is normal."


Have you thought about maybe having a 3D ultrasound?
Helped my ex husband bond with DD.
You can see his facial features on one at this point in your pregnancy.
Try not tooo stress over it momma. It's totally normal.

Two Princesses 2 kids; San Pedro, CA, United States 7196 posts
24th Feb '13
Quoting Aryann's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting White Chocolate Milk:</b>" I had periods of time where I didn't ... [snip!] ... expect to have. Just wait until you give birth."</blockquote> I wonder if having a c-section will effect our bonding."


I had a c-section with my daughter in 2010, and am scheduled for another one in May.
I didn't feel it hurt our bond at all.

Just Niki 19 kids; Oregon 1456 posts
24th Feb '13

I have three kids and never felt a strong connection to them while they were inside me. The moment I saw them and held them in my arms, that all changed! I don't think it's that uncommon.

Aryann's Mommy Due May 14; 1 child; Camas, Washington 172 posts
24th Feb '13

Well I have another ultrasound at 36 weeks to kinda size him up so we can decide if we want to try for a vbac or go for a repeat c-section. I don't know if it will be a 3D one or not.

Two Princesses 2 kids; San Pedro, CA, United States 7196 posts
24th Feb '13
Quoting Aryann's Mommy:" Well I have another ultrasound at 36 weeks to kinda size him up so we can decide if we want to try for a vbac or go for a repeat c-section. I don't know if it will be a 3D one or not."



3D one's you usually get at an elective ultrasound ppplace. You can expect to pay around $80, but it was totally worth it in my opinion.

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
24th Feb '13
Quoting Aryann's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting White Chocolate Milk:</b>" I had periods of time where I didn't ... [snip!] ... expect to have. Just wait until you give birth."</blockquote> I wonder if having a c-section will effect our bonding."


I doubt it, honestly. It may not be instant, but once you hear him cry and get to hold him I'm sure you will get that bond you are looking for.

lolajessup Due July 25; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
24th Feb '13

My csection didn't affect my bond. Don't worry. It's especially common when u have an older child too cause you're busy with them and it's not everything focused on baby all the time. Are u depressed at all? My depression affected my bond. Once I got on meds I bonded better.