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I don't know KelliMarie0524 Due September 13 (boy); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Warminster, Pennsylvania 733 posts
26th Feb '13

I lost my first son due to a miscarriage in 2006 at 17 weeks. Since then I had two healthy baby boys and I am planning on another one. My boyfriend and I were out at dinner. I just learned recently that a friend of mine miscarriged. I brought it up that a friend of mine just had a loss and that I felt really bad for her. It really bothered me. I guess just brought back memories. My boyfriend saw my reaction and started asking me about my loss. He asked me if 10/20 years from now would I still be emotional about my loss.I told him honestly, yes I believe I still will be, as emotional. He asked me that since I have two boys now that don't they fill that emptiness of my loss or how about the one plan on having. I told him honestly, no. I love my boys I am happy to be their mom. But do they replace the one I loss? No they don't. No matter how many more babies I have I do not believe they could fill that loss. Does my loss consume me to the point I can't be a parent to the kids I have? No it doesn't but somethings just trigger my memory/feeling of loss. Like my friend that just miscarried or facebook pictures of sick babies just get me all sad. He just made me feel that I should be over it by now. That I shouldn't get upset anymore since it has been years. I don't see him as being insensitive but just lacking the experience of really knowing a loss.

tooodles 240 kids; Thailand 5075 posts
26th Feb '13

Men will never understand the attachment a woman grows with their unborn baby. And to lose that baby that was growing inside of you, they couldn't even fathom what that's like. I'm sorry about your loss.