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What would you do? SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
Feb 27th '13

When I was 15 I had walked to the grocery store a few miles from my home to do some grocery shopping for a sick neighbor. She had three younger kids and was stuck in bed, they needed food. So I told her I could do it for her. Walking home, I had all my hands full with the grocery bags, I was walking in the grass on the side of the road (Road, dirt, grass) I was as far off the road as I could be. We lived in a small town and there was only one main road running through the town.
It was wednesday afternoon, around 2 or 3 pm. Sunny warmish day in august.
Next thing I know I am on fire..it feels like my legs were on fire. I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't speak, I knew I was surrounded by people, they were yelling, and I could feel my clothing being cut off. It was a half hour drive to the nearest hospital, I spent 12 hours in the ICU. I was constantly surrounded by people, constantly being worked on, constantly in pain that entire time. I had to have surgeries because of a broken leg and some spinal problems. I died after surgery and had to be resuscitated. I now can't take narcotics, they make me vomit and stop breathing ever since that night. I spent months unable to walk.
We had to go to court. The man who hit me was drunk, very very drunk. He also had his toddler children in the car with him (I don't know if he took them into the bar or left them in the car while he got wasted). He hit many things on his way home, me being one of those things. The previous mayor of the town was behind him when he swerved almost completely off the road and hit me, he followed him and finally got him to pull over. He said his windshield was completely shattered and could not be seen through. He told him he hit someone, he had to go back. He drove off but the mayor got his license plate number. The cops showed up at his house an hour later, he was drinking more when they arrested him. He was released the next day. The judge suspended his license for 3 years and gave him a fine. He almost killed me and they suspended his license in our tiny town that was barely 4 miles wide.
6 years of physical therapy, chiropractors and pain management with pills before the insurance stopped paying and then I couldn't get any care. Unable to work because of my physical limitations and had no insurance so I've just been suffering through it. Had to have another surgery when the injuries I sustained caused me to rebreak the leg they did surgery on and fractured the other. It was an emergency surgery that put me over $80k in debt. I was confined to bed for 6 months, it took me another 6 to relearn how to walk. That was about 6 years ago. I can still barely walk, I have to wear fracture boots to go grocery shopping, anything more than that and I need to be in a wheelchair. My spine is a wreck and I have excruciating back pain every single day. I need to have another surgery on my leg once the baby comes to try to make it better, but they don't know if it will work. I'm allergic to narcotics so this surgery is not going to be an easy one for me, along with the csection & hernia repair surgery I need before that...
My husband hates the guy that did this to me. He didn't know me now, but he has to deal with the outcome on a daily basis. My health and pain issues are a constant thing. We were discussing it the other night, and he asked me if I knew his name. I said I did and he told me if he ever wanted me to, he'd go pay him a visit lol I know he wouldn't but it made me think and today I googled the guy. And I found him. And I really really want to write to him and just ask him if he ever thinks about what he did, and what his actions did to someone else. I want him to know what it is I've been through the last 15 years. I want him to know. But just thinking about writing to him makes me cry..I've been crying the whole time I've been typing this.
If this has happened to you, would you write him? Just to get some kind of closure? I don't know if that is what I need but I feel like I need something...I'm obviously not okay with what has happened. I'm going to be suffering the rest of my life because of him. And I just want to know that he KNOWS something, not just that he fucked up once 15 years ago and never has a second thought about what he did. What would you do?

ILOVEWINE Due April 24; 2 kids; Sweden 10814 posts
Feb 27th '13

Wow that is terrible! Why did his insurance not cover your medical bills? And yes I would write him for sure.

user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
Feb 27th '13

I am so sorry :( I couldn't imagine going through all that and pushing through everyday. You are SO strong!



And yes. I would definitely write him. I cannot believe he got off with a smack on the hand. That is so disgusting.

A is Me 1 child; South Carolina 3782 posts
Feb 27th '13

Yes. Write him. He needs to know.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18873 posts
Feb 27th '13

I would definitely write to him and just get it all off my chest. I'm sorry you've had to go through that in your life & he just walked away like it was nothing.



I'm appalled that he was barely punished.... He fucked up, yet you got the life sentence... :(

Momma Fergie Due August 10; Mississippi 289 posts
Feb 27th '13

Why was there never a civil suit brought against him? I doubt he has much, but I'd sue the pants off him!

"L" Due May 30; 2 kids; Danville, IN, United States 5927 posts
Feb 27th '13
Quoting Momma Fergie:" Why was there never a civil suit brought against him? I doubt he has much, but I'd sue the pants off him!"



:!:

Go to a lawyer and see what they can do

SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
Feb 27th '13

I was a minor, my mom settled with the insurance company and they agreed to pay 6 years of medical bills related to the accident and gave us cash if we didn't sue, she put it into a bank account for me for when I turned 18. We honestly didn't think the problems would've lasted so long with all the stuff we were doing to fix it :( And I was stupid and married some p***e o* s**t army guy who told me he loved me, I was 18 and pregnant and believed him. He cleaned me out, then got physically abusive so he was gone within a year but so was the money.



Honestly, I am almost more upset he put his poor kids at risk. I heard his wife left him after it happened, but someone insinuated she left the kids with him, I hope to god that isen't true he obviously was NOT a fit parent :(

talexys 1 child; Ontario 1235 posts
Feb 27th '13
Quoting SaucyPoppet:" When I was 15 I had walked to the grocery store a few miles from my home to do some grocery shopping ... [snip!] ... something, not just that he fucked up once 15 years ago and never has a second thought about what he did. What would you do?"


I would definatly write him, he needs to know how badly his actions effected someones life. So sorry this happened to you.

SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
Feb 27th '13

Thank you every one for your feedback. I was worried I might be thinking rashly and too emotionally and that I could depend on you guys to give me a solid second opinion :) Thank you thank you thank you

SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
Feb 27th '13
Quoting Supafly★:" You can still sue since you're still dealing with pain and medical bills as a result of the accident. ... [snip!] ... accident. It's worth a shot! Hopefully his wife realized what a p***e o* s**t he is and he only gets supervised visitation. "


Oh? I thought since we settled it meant we couldn't do anything..maybe I will ask around about it....

Vitameatavegamin 19 kids; League City, Texas 5829 posts
Feb 27th '13

Oh wow. That is inexcusable that he got off with nothing compared to what your are going through still to this day. I'm sorry this happened.
I would have to write a letter. But I would take a LONG time writing it and thinking it over so it says just the right things, I wouldn't just write something real quick and send it. Unless you are already sure what you want it to say and how you want to come off. I would try not to sound like a b*tch about it, for fear of a negative response. Personally, I'd be seeking an apology, and for him to show you some remorse. Otherwise, keep in mind you might not get the reaction you want if you sound b*tchy, he could come back with some horrible things to say to you to make it worst, so keep that in mind. Maybe even ask him to not respond back at all. Tell him you just wanted him to know?
That's just what I would do. GL, I'll pray for you.

NICKEL☮POLIS 2 kids; Ontario 6268 posts
Feb 27th '13
Quoting SaucyPoppet:" When I was 15 I had walked to the grocery store a few miles from my home to do some grocery shopping ... [snip!] ... something, not just that he fucked up once 15 years ago and never has a second thought about what he did. What would you do?"


I don't know if it would make him feel guilty.. unless he's a changed man, if he's the type that will drive drunk as a skunk with his children in the car, hit a girl and not stop etc etc I wonder how much of a conscience he really has. But if it will make you feel better or give you some kind of relief/release then go for it. Doesn't really matter how he will feel, he doesn't deserve a second of your thoughts.

SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
Feb 27th '13

Yeh I don't really care how he feels about it, with the exception that I hope he feels guilty and horrible and maybe he will actually think of what happened more often knowing what I've had to go through because of him.



From that accident I wasen't even suppose to be able to have children..he is very very f**king lucky that my body fought against all the twisted tubes and tilted bits to give me my miracle babies >.< Otherwise..I probably would let my DH pay him a visit LOL

Momma Fergie Due August 10; Mississippi 289 posts
Feb 27th '13

Don't write the letter until you consult a lawyer. Of you can still sure, he will be able to use anything you write as a potential defense. I believe you can still sure him in a civil suit as you wouldn't go through his insurance company. Just giving my advice.