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What would you do? SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
27th Feb '13

When I was 15 I had walked to the grocery store a few miles from my home to do some grocery shopping for a sick neighbor. She had three younger kids and was stuck in bed, they needed food. So I told her I could do it for her. Walking home, I had all my hands full with the grocery bags, I was walking in the grass on the side of the road (Road, dirt, grass) I was as far off the road as I could be. We lived in a small town and there was only one main road running through the town.
It was wednesday afternoon, around 2 or 3 pm. Sunny warmish day in august.
Next thing I know I am on fire..it feels like my legs were on fire. I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't speak, I knew I was surrounded by people, they were yelling, and I could feel my clothing being cut off. It was a half hour drive to the nearest hospital, I spent 12 hours in the ICU. I was constantly surrounded by people, constantly being worked on, constantly in pain that entire time. I had to have surgeries because of a broken leg and some spinal problems. I died after surgery and had to be resuscitated. I now can't take narcotics, they make me vomit and stop breathing ever since that night. I spent months unable to walk.
We had to go to court. The man who hit me was drunk, very very drunk. He also had his toddler children in the car with him (I don't know if he took them into the bar or left them in the car while he got wasted). He hit many things on his way home, me being one of those things. The previous mayor of the town was behind him when he swerved almost completely off the road and hit me, he followed him and finally got him to pull over. He said his windshield was completely shattered and could not be seen through. He told him he hit someone, he had to go back. He drove off but the mayor got his license plate number. The cops showed up at his house an hour later, he was drinking more when they arrested him. He was released the next day. The judge suspended his license for 3 years and gave him a fine. He almost killed me and they suspended his license in our tiny town that was barely 4 miles wide.
6 years of physical therapy, chiropractors and pain management with pills before the insurance stopped paying and then I couldn't get any care. Unable to work because of my physical limitations and had no insurance so I've just been suffering through it. Had to have another surgery when the injuries I sustained caused me to rebreak the leg they did surgery on and fractured the other. It was an emergency surgery that put me over $80k in debt. I was confined to bed for 6 months, it took me another 6 to relearn how to walk. That was about 6 years ago. I can still barely walk, I have to wear fracture boots to go grocery shopping, anything more than that and I need to be in a wheelchair. My spine is a wreck and I have excruciating back pain every single day. I need to have another surgery on my leg once the baby comes to try to make it better, but they don't know if it will work. I'm allergic to narcotics so this surgery is not going to be an easy one for me, along with the csection & hernia repair surgery I need before that...
My husband hates the guy that did this to me. He didn't know me now, but he has to deal with the outcome on a daily basis. My health and pain issues are a constant thing. We were discussing it the other night, and he asked me if I knew his name. I said I did and he told me if he ever wanted me to, he'd go pay him a visit lol I know he wouldn't but it made me think and today I googled the guy. And I found him. And I really really want to write to him and just ask him if he ever thinks about what he did, and what his actions did to someone else. I want him to know what it is I've been through the last 15 years. I want him to know. But just thinking about writing to him makes me cry..I've been crying the whole time I've been typing this.
If this has happened to you, would you write him? Just to get some kind of closure? I don't know if that is what I need but I feel like I need something...I'm obviously not okay with what has happened. I'm going to be suffering the rest of my life because of him. And I just want to know that he KNOWS something, not just that he fucked up once 15 years ago and never has a second thought about what he did. What would you do?

ILOVEWINE Due April 24; 2 kids; Sweden 10814 posts
27th Feb '13

Wow that is terrible! Why did his insurance not cover your medical bills? And yes I would write him for sure.

user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
27th Feb '13

I am so sorry :( I couldn't imagine going through all that and pushing through everyday. You are SO strong!



And yes. I would definitely write him. I cannot believe he got off with a smack on the hand. That is so disgusting.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14113 posts
27th Feb '13

I can't believe they fucking released him. :? He should have been locked up. That makes me so angry, and sorry for you.



If you think it will release some of the pain, write the letter. But if you send it you have be able to handle either never getting a response or a response that won't bring you peace. Just start with writing the letter and see how you feel after.

A is Me 1 child; South Carolina 3782 posts
27th Feb '13

Yes. Write him. He needs to know.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
27th Feb '13

I would definitely write to him and just get it all off my chest. I'm sorry you've had to go through that in your life & he just walked away like it was nothing.



I'm appalled that he was barely punished.... He fucked up, yet you got the life sentence... :(

Momma Fergie Due August 10; Mississippi 289 posts
27th Feb '13

Why was there never a civil suit brought against him? I doubt he has much, but I'd sue the pants off him!

ℕightingale 1 child; Mississippi 7969 posts
status 27th Feb '13

Yes I would write him. Why is he not responsible for all your medical bills? He caused you all those problems he should have to pay all those bills and be in debt not you.

"L" 2 kids; Danville, Indiana 5906 posts
27th Feb '13
Quoting Momma Fergie:" Why was there never a civil suit brought against him? I doubt he has much, but I'd sue the pants off him!"



:!:

Go to a lawyer and see what they can do

SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
27th Feb '13

I was a minor, my mom settled with the insurance company and they agreed to pay 6 years of medical bills related to the accident and gave us cash if we didn't sue, she put it into a bank account for me for when I turned 18. We honestly didn't think the problems would've lasted so long with all the stuff we were doing to fix it :( And I was stupid and married some piece of shit army guy who told me he loved me, I was 18 and pregnant and believed him. He cleaned me out, then got physically abusive so he was gone within a year but so was the money.



Honestly, I am almost more upset he put his poor kids at risk. I heard his wife left him after it happened, but someone insinuated she left the kids with him, I hope to god that isen't true he obviously was NOT a fit parent :(

talexys 1 child; Ontario 1138 posts
27th Feb '13
Quoting SaucyPoppet:" When I was 15 I had walked to the grocery store a few miles from my home to do some grocery shopping ... [snip!] ... something, not just that he fucked up once 15 years ago and never has a second thought about what he did. What would you do?"


I would definatly write him, he needs to know how badly his actions effected someones life. So sorry this happened to you.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14113 posts
27th Feb '13
Quoting SaucyPoppet:" I was a minor, my mom settled with the insurance company and they agreed to pay 6 years of medical bills ... [snip!] ... but someone insinuated she left the kids with him, I hope to god that isen't true he obviously was NOT a fit parent :("


You can still sue since you're still dealing with pain and medical bills as a result of the accident. It's worth a shot! Hopefully his wife realized what a piece of shit he is and he only gets supervised visitation.

SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
27th Feb '13

Thank you every one for your feedback. I was worried I might be thinking rashly and too emotionally and that I could depend on you guys to give me a solid second opinion :) Thank you thank you thank you

SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
27th Feb '13
Quoting Supafly★:" You can still sue since you're still dealing with pain and medical bills as a result of the accident. ... [snip!] ... accident. It's worth a shot! Hopefully his wife realized what a piece of shit he is and he only gets supervised visitation. "


Oh? I thought since we settled it meant we couldn't do anything..maybe I will ask around about it....

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14113 posts
27th Feb '13
Quoting SaucyPoppet:" Oh? I thought since we settled it meant we couldn't do anything..maybe I will ask around about it...."


You might not, but it's worth a try. They didn't know at the time how bad it was so there is a chance. Good luck! Most importantly, I hope that you find release from your emotional pain, either by writing that letter or something else.