My daughter's father is something else. He and I argue, a lot sometimes. And I know he isn't always fond of me. But he shouldn't base his feelings or opinions of our daughter based off of the way he feels about me. Let me say this before I copy the texts between us both: I can be moody and bitchy at times, and sometimes downright ridiculous. But I can't fathom his thought process sometimes.
Him: I said goodbye! You're an immature little bitch tonight.
Me: And you're a fucking asshole like always. I said don't text me anymore, bye.
Him: Amd you're a lazy good for nothing piece of shit like your Dad. Goodbye!
Me: Lazy? I'm pretty sure I'm supporting our daughter. Pretty fucking pathetic you work "so many hours" yet you can't do the same. So fuck off.
Him: Maybe I don't wanna support your daughter because your such a fucking depressing person that always has to ruin someones mood by bitching about something and then you try to blame it on that person. No one is allowed to be happy around you cuz you won't allow it.
Me: I'm pretty sure supporting YOUR daughter has absolutely nothing to do with how you feel about me. But yeah you're right, she is my daughter and I'll remember that from now on.
Him: That's fine. Idc. I never developed feelings for that child anyways and that's something you can blame on yourself.
My heart just hurts for my daughter. She's only 4 months old and doesn't understand right now, but she deserves a father who loves her and cares about her and doesn't have a problem giving her the support she deserves. I don't even know what to do now.
!Oh my gosh, That''s horrible, I would feel hurt too, even if you two don't get along she still deserves a daddy, but if her dads like that and doesn't care for her, she can be fine with just her mama.
Maybe he said it out of anger and didn't mean it? Like he was jsut trying to get to you?
You should ask him about it later when your both calmed down.
In my opinion he is saying things out of anger that he more than likely doesn't mean. When you are in a fight do not say YOUR daughter say OUR daughter. You need to make it a point that she is not just one of yours but both of yours.
What you do, is forget him. For her. She doesn't deserve that.
Quoting kate & tilly:" In my opinion he is saying things out of anger that he more than likely doesn't mean. When you are in ... [snip!] ... do not say YOUR daughter say OUR daughter. You need to make it a point that she is not just one of yours but both of yours."
stop talking to him, that's a start. Move on and just stop texting him, there really is no reason you guys need to be talking if that's how he feels about the baby he helped create especially if you guys can't be civil. I remember me and DH had a lot of heated arguments when LO was first born because we were young and had no clue what we were doing. Take him to court for child support and stop talking to him unless he wants to see his child.
<blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" In my opinion he is saying things out of anger that he more than likely doesn't mean. When you are in ... [snip!] ... do not say YOUR daughter say OUR daughter. You need to make it a point that she is not just one of yours but both of yours."</blockquote>
You're right, I just starting saying "your daughter" and "my daughter" after he told me he didn't want to support "my daughter". But we don't live together, and because of that, he says he doesn't feel an attachment to her. And as mentioned in the text, he and my dad hate each other. Well I look like my dad and my daughter looks like me so in turn she looks similar to my dad. He said when he looks at her and he can see my dad in her, he says he gets a feeling of disgust everytime.
Oh wow, I would be hurt too. I'm sorry :cry: If you both want to make it work, it would probably be advantageous to see a marriage counselor. Speaking to each other like that, even if it is over text, can cause serious, irreparable damage to your relationship.
It does sound like you both got upset and said things you probably didn't mean. Most men feel a duty to provide for their families. He probably took it very personally when you told him he wasn't taking care of you or LO.
Maybe let things cool off for a day or two and try approaching him with the idea of marriage counseling. If you're both done trying, stop talking to him and leave. Contact him only to talk about your daughter and if he doesn't show interest, take him to court. Good luck hun, I hope things work out for you guys!
wow. that is effing awful.
I am so sorry. forget his ass, your daughter does NOT need him in her life to ruin it.
Immature as you might have been (and honestly, who doesn't get that way when they fight sometimes) that was uncalled for. I'd call it quits right there. There's no reason to keep her around that garbage.
My BD and i aren't together and never were. My DD is almost 15 months and she sees him sometimes and him and i have had some pretty nasty fights. i care about my DD and he cares about himself. Life just goes on. As your daughter gets older he might have more of an attachment to her as she grows and learns how to do things but i wouldn't expect it. I let BD see our daughter anytime he wants, all I ask is for a notice the night before at least. Half the time he makes plans and backs out literally last minute as i'm dropping her off. Being a single mom is not the easiest thing but i can't change how anyone feels about her, I just know how I feel and I give her the best love I can. Assholes will be assholes. You don't need him.
<blockquote><b>Quoting JessicaRenee118:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" In my opinion he is saying things out of ... [snip!] ... similar to my dad. He said when he looks at her and he can see my dad in her, he says he gets a feeling of disgust everytime."</blockquote>
Trust me! We all say things like that without even realizing we are! Dads sometimes have a hard time bonding with babies when they are so little. Dh rarely even got to hold our daughter until she was 6 months. She wanted to nurse whenever he was home. It could just be taking him a little while. If he doesn't want to see her or anything though then forget him. Your daughter deserves better than that. I'm not trying to defend him what he said is very wrong! He sounds like he really needs to grow up to me.