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Broken home? BlackVelvet 1 child; 1 angel baby; Aurora, Illinois 4350 posts
28th Feb '13

Ladies when you split up with your man did it ruin your child's life?



SO and i got into yet another argument and i tell him that its to the point where i don't care if me and him are together and that im tired of fighting with him and ya know stuff like that.



He said that if me and him split that i would be ruining Kayla's life and that she'll be living in a broken home. That im only thinking for myself and thats not right to do that do an innocent child.

tooodles 240 kids; Thailand 5075 posts
28th Feb '13

Its not fair for a child to live with two parents fighting all the time and that are unhappy.

Blythe. 1 child; Indiana 22298 posts
28th Feb '13

staying together for the kid just makes things even worse. No one wants to live with people that hate each other

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
28th Feb '13

Growing up in a loveless two parent house hold where your mom and dad are unhappy and always fighting is FAR worse than growing up in a "broken home" where your parents are both happy and love you.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59771 posts
28th Feb '13

Is it hard to grow up in a "broken home"? Yes. But moreso if the parents are using the child as a pawn and making it hard on the child.



But parents should not stay together for the child if it's not a good relationship.

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
28th Feb '13

Sounds to me like he's just trying to manipulate the situation to his advantage. You can absolutely raise a child in separate homes...it's all up to the parents to provide that loving environment for the child. And it's a lot healthier that living in a "home" with constant fighting.

GavinsMomJohnnysWife 2 kids; Texas 2789 posts
28th Feb '13

I broke up with my son's ex shortly after he was born (he was cheating) and we got back together when my son was 6 months old.. we broke up for good when he was 18 months old. (He will be 4 in June) It was the best thing for us. He has a girlfriend with a daughter only weeks younger than our son, and I have a wonderful husband. It would absolutely not have been fair to stay where all we did was fight and make each other miserable 24/7. Don't let him play your child against you.

.Enigma. clusterfuck, LA, Sri Lanka 107102 posts
28th Feb '13

Eh, it was better for me once our home was broken.

Less fighting, stress and resentment.

BlackVelvet 1 child; 1 angel baby; Aurora, Illinois 4350 posts
28th Feb '13

I havent been happy in some time and its to the point to where simply put i dont care. Im in a deep depression and my SO says some pretty hurtful things.



The other day he wanted to force me to a doctor to get back on the Medications I was on. I got off them just after we started dating, we've been dating nearly 3 years.



He calls me lazy irresponsible and careless and that i only think about myself and that the only reason i take care of Kayla is because i have to.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
28th Feb '13

My daughter was 3 when her dad and I divorced. She was angry for a little bit, but with a lot of support and realizing that she is loved, she got over the anger pretty quickly. Has her life been ruined? Heck no. The people in her life have always made sure that she knows that she is loved and important.



Since her dad's gf had their baby in November, she's kind of withdrawn a little, almost as if she's just so used to doing her own thing and being by herself at her dad's, but I think that will get better. My SO and I try to involve her and do things just with her(especially when my older two are in school).



She saw us unhappy and fighting when we were together, and now she sees us happy, and that is better for her. She knows she's loved by everyone in her life.

BlackVelvet 1 child; 1 angel baby; Aurora, Illinois 4350 posts
28th Feb '13
Quoting iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien:" Sounds to me like he's just trying to manipulate the situation to his advantage. You can absolutely raise ... [snip!] ... to provide that loving environment for the child. And it's a lot healthier that living in a "home" with constant fighting."


If i were to be leaving i would leave the state. Illinois has nothing for me to offer. I have no family, and only like 1 friend here. Im at a dead end job.

BlackVelvet 1 child; 1 angel baby; Aurora, Illinois 4350 posts
28th Feb '13
Quoting iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien:" Sounds to me like he's just trying to manipulate the situation to his advantage. You can absolutely raise ... [snip!] ... to provide that loving environment for the child. And it's a lot healthier that living in a "home" with constant fighting."


If i were to be leaving i would leave the state. Illinois has nothing for me to offer. I have no family, and only like 1 friend here. Im at a dead end job.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
28th Feb '13
Quoting BlackVelvet:" If i were to be leaving i would leave the state. Illinois has nothing for me to offer. I have no family, and only like 1 friend here. Im at a dead end job."

Well that might cause some problems for you. I know any friends I have that separated from their children's fathers aren't allowed to move out of state with their kids unless the father gives consent, and understandably, they never give consent. He has rights to your daughter too and if he wants regular visitation or even joint custody of her he can put a serious crimp in your plan to move far away.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
28th Feb '13
Quoting BlackVelvet:" I havent been happy in some time and its to the point to where simply put i dont care. Im in a deep depression ... [snip!] ... and careless and that i only think about myself and that the only reason i take care of Kayla is because i have to."


If you are depressed, you might want to get help for that, too. I don't think you should stay in a home and relationship where you're being put down and called lazy and whatnot, but you also have to take care of YOU, and treating your depression is a part of that.