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Home birthing mamas! Erica Gentry Due May 15 (girl); 2 kids; Ohio 10 posts
4th Mar '13

After having two UNnatural hospital births, I told myself I'd never do that again. So, I seeked out, found an awesome midwife, educated myself,and it's official that I'm doing my first home birth this May! (May 2013!!!!)
I'm confident, and nothing but excited. Now, granted my hubby isn't really on the same page as me, But my midwife and I are working on him. He just doens't know the risks, and dangers of HOSPITALS. I had so many complications with both of my kiddos while I was laboring with them. I believe, (and of course my midwife does too, above everyone else) that those issues where due to unnecesary medical interventions. So, Do we have any other Homebirthing mamas out there, that can throw me advice, or even share their stories?! :) I'm open minded and love to hear it all :)

Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
4th Mar '13

*face palm*



There are even more risks and dangers at home. I'm not saying home births can't be done, but there is plenty that can go wrong at home too.



I think your husband sounds extremely level headed and you sound much less. you're making him sound like he's an idiot for not supporting your decision, when really it should be both of you to decide.



good luck. I hope nothing bad happens. I'd hate for the unthinkable to happen just because YOU decided to do it at home.

[JadeLee] 1 child; Minnesota 12190 posts
4th Mar '13

Just wondering the dangers of hospitals?



I am all for people birthing at home if they are healthy and have had no other complications. I am just curious as to what you view as dangers of hospitals

Dr. Elliot Reid ; 1 child; New Zealand 8808 posts
4th Mar '13

Hmm, just have a look at this before you go nosediving into a homebirth http://hurtbyhomebirth.blogspot.com/?m=1

Dr. Elliot Reid ; 1 child; New Zealand 8808 posts
4th Mar '13

Also if something were to go wrong are you close to a hospital? How would you get there?

Emily M Smith 18 kids; Wisconsin 432 posts
4th Mar '13

I did not have home births but did have a midwife at a birthing center by a hospital should anything go wrong and if I were to ever have another baby I would do it over again...I have unmedicted water births with both and it was amazing...doez your midwife work in a birthing center you could deliver at just in case and maybe help your hubby feel a little better?

Mommy of TWO <3 2 kids; Maryland 731 posts
4th Mar '13

I haven't had a home birth and won't with this one, but I am in no way against it and might even have one in the future. As long as you do your research and make an educated decision you will be good. And don't listen to anyone trying to tell you home births are SOOO unsafe when they know nothing about it whatsoever. Home births can sometimes have bad outcomes and hospitals can too (and to my knowledge, a bad outcome in the hospital is more common due to unnecessary interventions). The difference is, if something goes wrong in the hospital you have the medical staff and equipment right there.

My Brain On Drugs TTC since Sep 2013; 33 kids; Elephant Butte, New Mexico 15751 posts
4th Mar '13

Yeah, it's important to have him totally on board. My husband was a bit afraid too but he trusted that everything would go ok and he loved our midwife as much as I did. The video of my son's homebirth shows exactly the role a husband can have in a home birth, and it may be important for your dh to realize that he will have the most amazing experience too. I don't know if that will help, but it's on my profile. It's long, and pretty much PG-rated. My husband caught the baby, and eventually tied off the umbilical cord and cut it, and generally had a huge role in the birth. He was so much support to me. I think men are really not able to be as involved in a hospital experience.



Also maybe see "Behind the Glass" about men/fathers and the hospital birth system that excludes them. Yes, in a hospital we're not focused on the "experience"...but birth is a pretty normal event and just as important for dads as moms to have a good experience. I do believe that.



Make sure your midwife doesn't have an agenda. I'm sure you had bad experiences before because of interventions--but do ask her hospital transfer rate. Most midwives are at a 10% transfer rate or so. Much, much lower--and it's probable she has made some bad decisions. Ask her what kind of relationship she has with the staff on the labor & delivery floor. It's important that she can be trusted. If it's adversarial gtfo. Believe me, I loved my home birth. But I wanted to know I'd get the best care. Maybe talk to her about this, then explain those facts to your DH.

Erica Gentry Due May 15 (girl); 2 kids; Ohio 10 posts
4th Mar '13

Do a bit a research then you will see for yourself.
But I will explain a bit.....



When you are at a hospital giving birth, you are givin a time limit. If you aren't progressing the way doctors want to see you, then they will give you some sort of drug...
Drugs can do all types of things during labor.
Also, doctors are trained SURGEONS, there is NOTHING natural about them. Do you think they do to school to practice what midwives, and doulas do? natural remedies, etc? (maybe a little....) But for the most part NO.
Birth belongs at home if you are a low risk pregnancy.



I get this question a lot too;
Isn't the hospital cleaner and more sanitary than your home?
Answer: ABSOLUTLEY NOT. The hospitals germs are foreign to your body, and your baby. When your baby comes out, he/she will automatically be immune, etc to her surroundings....Make sense?



Also, here's another one. Most women hemmorage (sp?) because doctors are in there to get the job done....IN AND OUT other words, So lots of times the placenta is FORCED out, or it's delivered when it's not ready... With pushing, pulling, and tugging, etc...You get my point...All of those things lead to hemmorage (sp?)



Hospitals also have LIMITS, RESTRICTIONS, (these are things that people don't think about, that's why home births are not as common anymore...)
You're constantly hooked up to a monitor, they don't allow you to eat, drink, etc. If they do, it's VERY LIGHT. Same with walking... When you're at your home, There are no restrictions.. Your midwife is on your watch...She is trained to deliver babies, NOT perform surgery, BUT deliver babies.... That is my reasoning for delivering at home.. So many people use the hospital use the hospital as a security blanket, But really..they have no real idea of the dangers.

Erica Gentry Due May 15 (girl); 2 kids; Ohio 10 posts
4th Mar '13

There's absolutley nothing that can scare me out of having a home birth...I know and understand that sometimes nature and life throws us some unexpected curve balls, and I'm prepared to deal with that, BUT- I'm confident, and educated, and that's all that matters. I don't need links to unsuccessful home births, because I understand that it happens, But in 19 years that my midwife has been doing this, She has made TWO transfers to hospitals, and they weren't even emergencies.... ;)

ThatsAlotaNuts Australia 2314 posts
4th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Erica Gentry:</b>" Do a bit a research then you will see for yourself. But I will explain a bit..... When you are at a ... [snip!] ... So many people use the hospital use the hospital as a security blanket, But really..they have no real idea of the dangers."</blockquote>




Lol. My hospital was nothing like that. I was in labour for 40 hours and progressed slowly they never once suggested a csection. They didnt intercept with forceps or anything even though DS was sunny side up and I was pushing for 2 hours. I could have eaten or drank whatever I liked they only checked me every few hours other then that it was just me and DH. He was there the whole time and stayed with ne in the hospital afterwatds too...he got to cut the cord aswell. In your case maybe pick a better hospital not just diss then all because of a bad experience.

GCS 15 1 child; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 2786 posts
4th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Erica Gentry:</b>" After having two UNnatural hospital births, I told myself I'd never do that again. So, I seeked out, ... [snip!] ... mamas out there, that can throw me advice, or even share their stories?! :) I'm open minded and love to hear it all :)"</blockquote>




I hope to god you got a Certified Nurse Midwife and not a "midwife". A CNP has actual medical training and needs to take a certification exam while a lay midwife isn't required to have anything other then some on the job training and they get a "certification" from online.



Please don't risk your baby's life with someone with no actual medical training. People demonize hospital births and ob gyns but you can have a natural birth in a hospital because they can not force you to do anything. If you really don't want to go to a hospital check out a birthing center where if anything goes wrong, you still have access to someone with training.



Before you say how healthy you are and you are low risk, etc remember you can NOT plan for an emergency. In a true emergency even five mins from the hospital is life and death. My daughter was born with the cord so tight and compressed, she was without oxygen during delivery. Luckily the doctors and neonatologist were there to run a code and resuscitate her. If we weren't there, she wouldn't have made it. You can not plan for something like that.



Please read http://www.skepticalob.com/
There is a reason pediatricians and neonatologists don't support home births. And they are not benefitting from how you give birth.



When it comes to a child a mother will usually do anything to make Them safe and protect them from any possible harm, so why risk it with a home birth...?

Dr. Elliot Reid ; 1 child; New Zealand 8808 posts
4th Mar '13
Quoting Erica Gentry:" Do a bit a research then you will see for yourself. But I will explain a bit..... When you are at a ... [snip!] ... So many people use the hospital use the hospital as a security blanket, But really..they have no real idea of the dangers."

Not all doctors are surgeons, and when do they ever give you a time limit? If they ever did it would be for safety reasons, at the end of the day the best outcome is a healthy mum and baby, regardless of how it happened.

My Brain On Drugs TTC since Sep 2013; 33 kids; Elephant Butte, New Mexico 15751 posts
4th Mar '13
Quoting Erica Gentry:" There's absolutley nothing that can scare me out of having a home birth...I know and understand that ... [snip!] ... 19 years that my midwife has been doing this, She has made TWO transfers to hospitals, and they weren't even emergencies.... ;)"


Eek. 19 years, two transfers? I know that sounds good to you, but to another, that sounds like she is taking some big risks. Birth is risky, inherently--there are risks. My midwife has like a 4% c-section rate (because she has a reasonable transfer rate). C-sections are not the devil. Sometimes they are life-saving.



I was afraid of getting sectioned for nothing, so stayed home. But I knew that I would be safe with my midwife, who understands when there is a true medical issue (not necessarily emergency) that must be addressed by medical professionals.



And of course...I hate Dr. Amy with a fiery hate, but like her, I also hate people saying, "Oh, an OB is a surgeon"...that's not really true. An OB is a doctor. Doctors sometimes perform surgery. It is done too often maybe, but not seeing a doctor because *gasp!* they are a doctor who performs surgery at times is not going to win over people. For many, that fact is their comfort. Just saying. lol



.

Dr. Elliot Reid ; 1 child; New Zealand 8808 posts
4th Mar '13

Also they dont just automatically give you drugs without your consent, you have the right to refuse anything and everything at a hospital, so IMO you're in no more control at home than you would be at a hospital.