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Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting October2011:" No, i totally get that. But what i don't get is that the child is HERE in the world, living, and she's ... [snip!] ... the fact that this beautiful little girl is here now, and its too much of an inconvenience for her parents to parent her."

......her birth parents keep in contact with the adoptive parents. The article states this. Just like every one else they were fighting the hardest emotional battle with all of this. Also, that child is just simply "alive".

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting Sanveann:" I feel like we're often too quick to judge, or predict, how good someone's quality of life might be. ... [snip!] ... But when you get pregnant, there's no form that says "Check here for a child with no physical or developmental disabilities!" "


No, I think science does a pretty good job of this. There is daily pain, then extreme pain in the recovery from surgeries. Never being able to communicate or take care of herself. I would never want that for myself or my children. And you know who had the right to make that decision? The childs parents not the person who was employed to carry the pregnancy.

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting Sanveann:" I feel like we're often too quick to judge, or predict, how good someone's quality of life might be. ... [snip!] ... But when you get pregnant, there's no form that says "Check here for a child with no physical or developmental disabilities!" "

What do you define as a "perfect child"? Because no one is perfect. Also, a child could have no physical disabilities but be riddled with mental disabilities that are not known until later down the line. This isn't about wanting a "perfect child". This is about making a humane decision for another life.

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting TantricLemons:" No, I think science does a pretty good job of this. There is daily pain, then extreme pain in the recovery ... [snip!] ... you know who had the right to make that decision? The childs parents not the person who was employed to carry the pregnancy."

:!:

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting October2011:" No, i totally get that. But what i don't get is that the child is HERE in the world, living, and she's ... [snip!] ... the fact that this beautiful little girl is here now, and its too much of an inconvenience for her parents to parent her."

I don't think she is defying anything. She is suffering because of the selfish decisions of the surrogate.

Pey and Trista's mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Houston, Texas 42502 posts
5th Mar '13

Everyone keeps saying the bio parents but didn't they eventually say they had donor eggs?



"The legal papers included a stunning admission: the wife was not the baby's genetic mother -- they'd used an anonymous egg donor."



Should she have gotten as much say as the bio father in your eyes? Just curious!

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
5th Mar '13

I have to admit when I saw the baby my heart melted and I feel sad that she was almost aborted. But then I snap back into reality and know there is more to that sweet little face. There are major health ailments at hand here.

Not Kayla 2 kids; Cold Lake, AB, Canada 33154 posts
status 5th Mar '13
Quoting October2011:" I just dont see how they can go about their daily lives knowing their "unwanted" child is now in the ... [snip!] ... It seems like it was all business for both sides. It's a wonder why the bio family wanted a 4th child in the first place. "


The biological parents wanted the child. That's why they hired a surro. to CARRY a child. What they did not want was to have a child who would suffer due to severe heart and brain issues. And now they can't do anything about it because the woman moved out of the state.

Sanveann 3 kids; Michigan 22 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting Just Ames:" What do you define as a "perfect child"? Because no one is perfect. Also, a child could have no physical ... [snip!] ... until later down the line. This isn't about wanting a "perfect child". This is about making a humane decision for another life."


As I said, my oldest has a spectrum of issues that weren't obvious until he was 3 or so. So yes, I'm very aware that a child can have other issues besides physical ones. My concern is that a parent who is unwilling or unable to parent a child with physical issues may not be willing or able to parent a child with other issues. This family seemed very clear that they had two other special-needs kids and wanted a normal one. What were they going to do if this child turned out to be, say, severely autistic?

Boobo&bugs Due September 24; 1 child; Simpsonville, South Carolina 5491 posts
status 5th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mel & a girl named Pey:</b>" Everyone keeps saying the bio parents but didn't they eventually say they had donor eggs? "The legal ... [snip!] ... -- they'd used an anonymous egg donor." Should she have gotten as much say as the bio father in your eyes? Just curious!"</blockquote>




Absolutely! She was the contract holder and the intended mother of the child. The egg was donated. The sperm is still her husbands and I'm pretty sure they were together in their decision that they wanted an abortion. Why shouldn't she have as much say as him? She should have had more say than the woman employed to carry the child. Since she was only fulfilling a job it wasn't her egg or her Sperm either. She wasn't going home with the baby after it was born.

October2011 Due April 3; 1 child; Pennsylvania 6494 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting Just Ames:" What do you define as a "perfect child"? Because no one is perfect. Also, a child could have no physical ... [snip!] ... until later down the line. This isn't about wanting a "perfect child". This is about making a humane decision for another life."


I think it's about the little girl who was born and is living.

Phallus Cranium fuknutz, NM, Togo 103194 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting Amelia Margaret:" Also, I was only sharing how I would feel in that situation. What I feel I could do. I didn't pass any judgement onto what the IPs in this case did."


I don't think I am getting your point

I mean, if you have a severe sn child at 30, you are still caring for them at 40 and at 50.........

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting Sanveann:" As I said, my oldest has a spectrum of issues that weren't obvious until he was 3 or so. So yes, I'm ... [snip!] ... special-needs kids and wanted a normal one. What were they going to do if this child turned out to be, say, severely autistic?"

Dude....not even comparable to what this child is facing. And you know what? I don't blame them for wanting a "normal child". Everyone deserves to be able to have a child who is eventually able to be their own person, be a productive citizen and have babies, etc. Is that so wrong for someone to want that of their child?

Pey and Trista's mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Houston, Texas 42502 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting kate & tilly:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mel & a girl named Pey:</b>" Everyone keeps saying the bio parents ... [snip!] ... she was only fulfilling a job it wasn't her egg or her Soren either. She wasn't going home with the baby after it was born."


I agree...just wondering if the whole bio parent thing made a difference to anyone! :P

October2011 Due April 3; 1 child; Pennsylvania 6494 posts
5th Mar '13
Quoting Kayla [:)]♥:" The biological parents wanted the child. That's why they hired a surro. to CARRY a child. What they ... [snip!] ... suffer due to severe heart and brain issues. And now they can't do anything about it because the woman moved out of the state."


I UNDERSTAND that! HOWEVER....THEIR child is here. It's no longer about the fact that the pregnancy wasnt terminated. The baby is HERE.