Reply
Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" It would just hurt him. He wants our family to work out. Ladies on here have told me he's manipulating ... [snip!] ... willing to do that isn't worth it, but I'm not ready to let him give it all up. I'm still holding out for a happy medium."

Well if you arent talking and going to counseling and actively working on your issues no happy medium will ever be reached.

Spoonful of Jayson 17 kids; Morrisville, Pennsylvania 11627 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Jennybananna:" Well if you arent talking and going to counseling and actively working on your issues no happy medium will ever be reached."


He won't do counseling. My ideal happy medium would be us splitting up, him getting a place somewhere around here and splitting visitation around our schedules, including both parents there for birthdays and holidays.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
Mar 5th '13

I thank him, wait until he goes to work or falls asleep and redo it. I don't want him to think I don't appreciate the effort however he doesn't think that the outside of a glass needs to be washed or underneath the couch needs to be swept, LOL Besides he did help by making the job easier and he wanted to help so that counts enough for me.

Spoonful of Jayson 17 kids; Morrisville, Pennsylvania 11627 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting 3 little monsters:" I thank him, wait until he goes to work or falls asleep and redo it. I don't want him to think I don't ... [snip!] ... couch needs to be swept, LOL Besides he did help by making the job easier and he wanted to help so that counts enough for me. "


lol i doubt they even realize that we go behind them and clean.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting LEGENDARY JAS ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:</b>" He will fold shit semi-right, but ... [snip!] ... putting it away. Team work makes the dream work. Damn, I woul hate living with you. You sound like a big ball of irritation."


What is it about putting laundry away that is so freaking irritating? LOL I'll wash, dry and fold all day but putting it away kills me!

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" Yes, well...what would you like from me? Is there an actual reason for me to be with him? No, probably ... [snip!] ... be with him? No, probably not. Are there benefits for both of us to stick it out? Yeah, I think so. It's just an odd situation."


The reason being you deserve to be happy and your son deserve parents who are happy together. Children need a positive example of relationships in able to have one of their own, so be a good example for your son.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" lol what am I going to do? Appear behind him in a shady way so when he turns around I'm standing there ... [snip!] ... It's just annoying. Why should I be the only one to finish a job or pick up a pillow that he just stepped over? "


You probably have different ideas of what a finished job is. You are thinking about it as a job not done but when it really is just a job not done your way. You are only seeing if from your perspective and getting annoyed, you aren't realizing his perspective is different.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" It would just hurt him. He wants our family to work out. Ladies on here have told me he's manipulating ... [snip!] ... willing to do that isn't worth it, but I'm not ready to let him give it all up. I'm still holding out for a happy medium."


You're joking right....



he threatens you that he'll leave, so he doesn't even care about being a father.



If he wanted you to stay he would be the husband you deserve, but it's not worth that much to him. He'd much rather threaten to leave his son and scare you into staying so he doesn't have to put in any effort, and you take care of his kid and house for him.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" I wouldn't be leaving him because he's lazy..."



Why not? Would you have dated him in the first place if he had been lazy?

Spoonful of Jayson 17 kids; Morrisville, Pennsylvania 11627 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting 3 little monsters:" You probably have different ideas of what a finished job is. You are thinking about it as a job not ... [snip!] ... your way. You are only seeing if from your perspective and getting annoyed, you aren't realizing his perspective is different. "


This, I believe. We grew up completely different. The standards of living he is used to from before he moved up here with me is something I could never get used to.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" He won't do counseling. My ideal happy medium would be us splitting up, him getting a place somewhere ... [snip!] ... somewhere around here and splitting visitation around our schedules, including both parents there for birthdays and holidays."


He won't go to counseling because he doesn't need to. All he has to say is that he's going to ditch your son if you leave him, and you'll stay and expect no effort from him. Of course he's not going to put effort into counseling. He doesn't care.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Jennybananna:" Those are excuses not reasons. "


That's not fair, don't demean someones thoughts and feelings that they are sharing openly just because you don't understand them.

Spoonful of Jayson 17 kids; Morrisville, Pennsylvania 11627 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" He won't go to counseling because he doesn't need to. All he has to say is that he's going to ditch ... [snip!] ... him, and you'll stay and expect no effort from him. Of course he's not going to put effort into counseling. He doesn't care. "


I know this. Deep down, I know this. It's almost like I refuse to believe that he's capable of doing that because I can't even fathom the thought of doing that to my son. I know that he loves our son with everything he has so I just don't get why the f**k he would want to leave. It's baffling to me. I want him to make the right choice.I want my son to see us both happy, but I don't want to be happy and him always have this feeling deep down like...what if my mom just stayed with my dad. Maybe we'd be a real family. Something...

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" I know this. Deep down, I know this. It's almost like I refuse to believe that he's capable of doing ... [snip!] ... him always have this feeling deep down like...what if my mom just stayed with my dad. Maybe we'd be a real family. Something..."


You wish you grew up watching your parents argue and be unhappy with one another? Would that have been better than them being apart?



Your husband does NOT love your son with everything he has, he's threatening to abandon him. Your son deserves a father who sticks around because he chooses to, not because he manipulated his mom into being miserable for the rest of her life.



Leave and find a man who stays with you because he WANTS to and treats you well because he WANTS you to stay around, and doesn't leave because h doesn't WANT to. And show your son what real love and a real relationship is.



Do you want your son to grow up and treat women the way his father is treating you?

Spoonful of Jayson 17 kids; Morrisville, Pennsylvania 11627 posts
Mar 5th '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" You wish you grew up watching your parents argue and be unhappy with one another? Would that have been ... [snip!] ... real love and a real relationship is. Do you want your son to grow up and treat women the way his father is treating you? "


You're right. You've been right. So, how do you find the courage to make the decision to change everything you've known for 5.5 years? How do you become okay with how things may turn out?