Reply
The baby shower debate? BeautyLies21 1 child; Canton, Ohio 46 posts
6th Mar '13

I just wanted to get other peoples opinion on when to have a baby shower. My mom and grandma believe that baby showers should be after the baby's born? I've always thought they should be before because then you can have everything you need when the baby gets here right? So unfortunately I have to have my baby shower after my baby is born. :( But I respect there decision since they are my elders and they are paying and planning the baby shower. But I just want others opinions on the matter.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
6th Mar '13

Most people do have baby showers before the baby is born. If it is delayed until afterwards, it's usually a "Meet the Baby" party, really. I don't think they're necessary, or that women should expect one.

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45011 posts
status 6th Mar '13

I think having a shower after the baby is here is far more practical.



Newborns need very little.



Showers are necessary at all, and I don't think they should be expected. Just be glad you are having one at all.

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15005 posts
status 6th Mar '13

A lot of people have them before, but a lot also have them after the baby is born to meet the baby. I also don't think you should expect to get everything you need from one.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
6th Mar '13

I had a shower about three weeks after my first arrived, everyone got to meet him and we got a lot of stuff but we provided everything we NEEDED for the baby so it's not like we were relying I the shower to have stuff for the baby. We just wanted to celebrate his arrival.
With my second, my sisters and mother threw me a "sprinkle" about 2 months before she arrived. Again, we provided everything our baby was going to NEED, the shower was just a reason to have a fun party. I preferred the one after the baby came honestly.

Hopeful and Optomistic! TTC since Aug 2013; 6 angel babies; Edgewood, Maryland 301 posts
6th Mar '13

Its common to have the shower prior so you have all the necessities but I know some religions believe its bad luck. My Jewish friend told mw that they wait until after the baby has arrived and then the shower has the theme, they meet the baby etc.



Either way it will be joyous

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45011 posts
status 6th Mar '13
Quoting Hopeful and Optomistic!:" Its common to have the shower prior so you have all the necessities but I know some religions believe ... [snip!] ... wait until after the baby has arrived and then the shower has the theme, they meet the baby etc. Either way it will be joyous"


Showers are not for necessities....

TrixieGirl Due July 4; 1 child; Maryland 1175 posts
6th Mar '13

some may say there is a rule of thumb for when to host a shower and so on, but when it comes to someone giving you a gift of a shower it is sort of like any gift, just appreciate the gesture.

tinydancer118 2 kids; Manitoba 269 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting BeautyLies21:" I just wanted to get other peoples opinion on when to have a baby shower. My mom and grandma believe ... [snip!] ... since they are my elders and they are paying and planning the baby shower. But I just want others opinions on the matter. "


I am a FIRM believer in having showers after baby is born. For 2 reasons:
1 ) newborns dont need much. a couple sleepers, bottles, soap, diapers. most of which arent typical shower gifts anyways.



2 ) I know 2 people (my mom is one of them) who had baby showers when they were only a couple of weeks away from their due date. In both cases they had very healthy pregnancy the whole time and in both cases they delivered stillborn babies. Obviously its not bc they had a shower before hand that their babies did not survive, but it would be pretty horrible having all this baby stuff around and no baby. You just never know!



Not to mention, dont people want to come to a shower to "shower" the baby with love and presents and snuggles? not the mom lol

BeautyLies21 1 child; Canton, Ohio 46 posts
7th Mar '13

It seems some of you are getting the wrong idea about me. I'm very grateful that I am having a baby shower. In my family at baby showers we don't just get new born items, we get newborn-12 months. So I do believe a baby shower is more than just a party, it helps the family out a lot with things they need when the child is born and in the future. I just always thought the baby shower was suppose to be before the baby was born. But I understand about loosing a child and how hard it would be to have all of the things for it. That is one of the reasons they believe I should have it after the baby is born also. An I also have concerns about how the babies immune system is so low when it's first born, and bring them around a lot of people will effect them.

tinydancer118 2 kids; Manitoba 269 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting BeautyLies21:" It seems some of you are getting the wrong idea about me. I'm very grateful that I am having a baby shower. ... [snip!] ... about how the babies immune system is so low when it's first born, and bring them around a lot of people will effect them. "


Around here, most people wait at least 6 weeks to have a shower. That way everyone kinda has time to adjust etc. And even if you didnt wait that long, it is cold and flu season and it isn't wrong to make sure people are 100% healthy before they come to your house to see that baby and that everyone washes and sanatizes! Our household has been SO sick this winter that I am going to be a crazy protective mom when this baby comes. LOL

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45011 posts
status 7th Mar '13
Quoting BeautyLies21:" It seems some of you are getting the wrong idea about me. I'm very grateful that I am having a baby shower. ... [snip!] ... about how the babies immune system is so low when it's first born, and bring them around a lot of people will effect them. "


Yes, but a newborn doesn't need a lot of stuff.



You can have a shower after they are born and get the stuff they "need" for the rest of their first year.



I'm not seeing the issue at all.