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The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59932 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting danamae:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" That's a great idea. Do I know all of the ... [snip!] ... good idea. I think I mostly feel bad criticizing her in any way. She is a friend and I know the diagnosis has been hard on her."


You're not criticizing her if you present it in that way-- say you'd really like to meet her mother so you feel more comfortable when she's away at appointments. Then if you're not comfortable-- well, again, your kids come before your friend's business (just like hers do).

Mommy of a giggler! 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 9017 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" She should be organising another carer when she can not be there to be in her home. Or give you 2 weeks notice. A similar thing happened with our family day carer. We just had to take days off"

Her mother is taking over care when she's not there, not telling them not to bring the kids.

Mommy of a giggler! 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 9017 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting danamae:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" I'm confused - the kids know her ... [snip!] ... was diagnosed 6 month ago. 6 months is a while ago. So yes she's been covering for awhile. Yes I've had the issue for a while."

Well if it's been happening for 6 months, and your child has been fine in the care of her mother for 6 months, why worry now?

Ben. 3 kids; Minnesota 7942 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting danamae:" My issue isn't with the care her mom gives the kids. Is with the fact that I don't know her mom. None ... [snip!] ... and than she emails you saying she had to leave so "so and so" is watching your kids till you get back. You wouldn't like it."


I don't mind it at all.



My day care tore her rotator cuff. She has therapy and dr appointments often. I have a few options:
1. leave my kids there and let her daughter care for them (which is what happens)
2. pick them up early
3. choose a different day care



You have those options, too.

Angel [Mariah's Mommy] 1 child; Indianapolis, Indiana 18065 posts
6th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting danamae:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" I'm confused - the kids know her ... [snip!] ... was diagnosed 6 month ago. 6 months is a while ago. So yes she's been covering for awhile. Yes I've had the issue for a while."</blockquote>



6 months is NOT a while when receiving a diagnosis.

Mommy of a giggler! 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 9017 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting danamae:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a ... [snip!] ... for awhile. Yes I've had the issue for a while."</blockquote> 6 months is NOT a while when receiving a diagnosis."

lol Heck, it was almost 2 years of pushing for me to get one! And in the first year after, it was a lot of work setting up the team that would work with him.

DinaX4 2 kids; Ohio 675 posts
6th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" Well if it's been happening for 6 months, and your child has been fine in the care of her mother for 6 months, why worry now?"</blockquote>




I have been worried. But I've been trying to be understanding. The appointments don't seem to be slowing down on fact they seem to be becoming more frequent.
In fact she just emailed me about an hour ago and said that she had an appointment scheduled for 1:45 tomorrow so she would be leaving during nap time. And she would return by pick up. Which is 430-5.
I guess I snapped a little and need some advice on how to proceed.

DinaX4 2 kids; Ohio 675 posts
6th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" You're not criticizing her if you present it in that way-- say you'd really like to meet her mother ... [snip!] ... appointments. Then if you're not comfortable-- well, again, your kids come before your friend's business (just like hers do)."</blockquote>




This is wonderful advice. Exactly what I'll do. Thank you.

Mommy of a giggler! 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 9017 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting danamae:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" Well if it's been happening for 6 ... [snip!] ... nap time. And she would return by pick up. Which is 430-5. I guess I snapped a little and need some advice on how to proceed."


If it's bothering you that much, you need to find some place else to go then. As things get in place, programs start, etc, it will probably continue to take just as much time (until he's in a full time school program). I'm busier this year with my son in a part time school program than I ever have been. He does school 8:30-10:45 Mon-Fri, OT 2 times a week, speech 2-4, behavioural once, etc. It can be very time consuming! I'm sure any new people she brings in to watch thier kids will be aware of her moms help right from the begining.

ILOVEWINE Due April 24; 2 kids; Sweden 10814 posts
6th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting danamae:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" Well if it's been happening for 6 ... [snip!] ... nap time. And she would return by pick up. Which is 430-5. I guess I snapped a little and need some advice on how to proceed."</blockquote>



In the OP you seemed more worried about the fact that you are paying her while she is not there. Not the care your children a recieving. If it has been bothering you for so long why not send your children elsewhere? Or to a center where someone always has to be there, but may not have your child's best interest at heart.

ILOVEWINE Due April 24; 2 kids; Sweden 10814 posts
6th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" Well that's a general statement that makes zero sense."</blockquote>




No it's not. Who do you think will love her child more. A family friend who knows her very well, or a center?

Ben. 3 kids; Minnesota 7942 posts
6th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ILOVEWINE:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" Well that's a general statement that makes zero ... [snip!] ... No it's not. Who do you think will love her child more. A family friend who knows her very well, or a center?"</blockquote>




They don't have to love the child to have their best interest.

CountingBlue+3 3 kids; Bridgeton, MO, United States 3539 posts
status 7th Mar '13
Quoting ILOVEWINE:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" Well that's a general statement that makes zero ... [snip!] ... No it's not. Who do you think will love her child more. A family friend who knows her very well, or a center?"


My kids go to a daycare center, and I don't need them to love my kids. I need them to take care of them. They don't have to love them to give them good care. I know they like my kids, and they are concerned when they are sick or aren't acting right, that's all I need. And it's not like this lady is watching the OP's kids out of the kindness of her heart, she is getting paid.