Reply
Calling the boyfriend daddy? Mandy Schlatterer Due March 27 (girl); 2 kids; New Port Richey, Florida 1689 posts
6th Mar '13

This isn't about me, I'm married, it's just a question if opinion



Do you think if a girl is pregnant and the dad and her break it off and she starts dating a new guy while pregnant, and the real dad is not very interested but the boyfriend is there at the birth, and pays for things, they live together, and he plays with the baby/goes about the fatherly role then the real dad does not, is it okay for the mother to call him the daddy? And teach the child that that is daddy?

Kelly +2 ERF/EH! 18 kids; Valdosta, Georgia 18072 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:" This isn't about me, I'm married, it's just a question if opinion Do you think if a girl is pregnant ... [snip!] ... role then the real dad does not, is it okay for the mother to call him the daddy? And teach the child that that is daddy?"

This exact situation happened with my BIL's friends girlfriend. Her and the babys father split while she was still pregnant, baby was born and BD had nothing to do with him. So the boyfriend was named Daddy. They were together 2 years before getting married, have been together just over a year, and just had a child of their own.

.:Mini.Me:. 1 child; Arizona 406 posts
6th Mar '13

Definitely.. It's like that saying, "The one who raises a child is called a father.. Not the one who helped make it."

anonymom + 1.5 2 kids; West Virginia 10787 posts
6th Mar '13

Personally, it would depend on the relationship, but I would never judge that decision.



I would want to have some sort of promise of stability and continuity in their relationship, an adoption or something.

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
6th Mar '13

Yes. My brother is dad to his partners child. She calls her real dad by his first name and my brother daddy. He came in to the picture when she was 9 months old

~Ba.zin.ga~34 weeks~ Due December 4 (girl); 1 child; Under your bed, OO, United States 4086 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:" This isn't about me, I'm married, it's just a question if opinion Do you think if a girl is pregnant ... [snip!] ... role then the real dad does not, is it okay for the mother to call him the daddy? And teach the child that that is daddy?"


Yes. I did that when I was a child. My dad wasn't around and my mom was remarried. I called him my dad up until I started spending more time with my biological father then I gradually started calling them both dad. It's the child's choice if they want to call them dad or by their name, I would not expect my child to call a man "dad" who was not their real father.

BC Mama 2 kids; British Columbia 512 posts
6th Mar '13

I think its fine, my bestfriends daughter calls her bf daddy even though he's not her bio dad. He pays for things, they live together,they are expecting a baby together and he definitely plays the daddy roll. Her bio dad has nothing to do with her.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 19259 posts
6th Mar '13

I went through that, but my daughter was 19 months old when I met my (now) husband. She called him daddy when it fit, it happened naturally. 3 years later we have been married for over 2 years with a second child. He is the only daddy she knows.

Snow 1 child; Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
6th Mar '13

Only a few things vary from what you are describing to what went on with DH and his ex. She was 7 months pregnant when she and DH met, the farther was an asshole, DH was there for the birth etc etc. Though they didn't live together, her mother (whom she was living with) didn't want DH around the baby so he was around him for collectively two months or so AND Dh and the ex were an on again off again type of thing. Like high school. In that instance, I do not think the boyfriend should be called daddy.

Mandy Schlatterer Due March 27 (girl); 2 kids; New Port Richey, Florida 1689 posts
6th Mar '13

I agree completely.

SaucyPoppet Due July 10 (girl); 1 child; Colorado Springs, Colorado 1172 posts
6th Mar '13

Yes that is fine, in fact, it is GREAT when you can find a man who is willing to take on the role of father like that :) My sister broke up with a boyfriend who she could never be with, and found out two weeks later she was pregnant. She made a friend during her pregnancy, he was by her side every second and was amazing. He was there through it all for the first year, too. And my sister never.put.out. I told her to marry the FUCK out of that guy!! To stick around when he wasen't even getting laid is a huge deal lol My nephew is now three, and calls him papa and he's the only father he's known. They are stupidly adorable together :) Sis and him are engaged & buying a house right now, they're getting married next year.

Minion 3 kids; ., GA, United States 21802 posts
6th Mar '13
Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:" This isn't about me, I'm married, it's just a question if opinion Do you think if a girl is pregnant ... [snip!] ... role then the real dad does not, is it okay for the mother to call him the daddy? And teach the child that that is daddy?"


My daughter is almost 4 and calls my boyfriend "Daddy". She's the only father she's ever known. Her real dad couldn't care less if she lives or dies.
My SO does everything for her like a good father should. He's always there for her and loves her just like his own child. He's 100000000000x better than her real dad could ever be.

Lol, so yeah, I think it's ok for a child to call the boyfriend daddy. As long as the child doesn't have a different "daddy" every month.

one of each 4 me Due January 8; TTC since Mar 2014; 3 kids; Ohio 6210 posts
6th Mar '13

My sister started dating her boyfriend when she was like 2 months pregnant. He was not the father. All through her pregnancy they acted like a family and he was excited for the baby to be born and what not. When the baby was born they acted like he was the dad and though the little boy couldn't comprehend it they told him the boyfriend was the dad. Fast forward 4 months and her and her boyfriend break up and it leaves me to wonder how many daddies this little boy is going to have. She still lets her ex boyfriend see him sometimes, as well as a few times the real father.

I declare a Time War 1 child; Ohio 1591 posts
6th Mar '13

I think it is perfectly okay. My biological father and my mother were married till I was 17. After the divorce he wanted nothing to do with me and kicked me out when I was 17 because I refused to accept his then gf now wife and her pregnant 15 year old daughter. I call my stepdad my dad because he actually acts like my dad, and loves me like a dad does his daughter, and is there when I need him. He is my daddy and my biological father is now known by his first name since he stopped acting like my father.

Mom of 4 Little Boys! 4 kids; 2 angel babies; Hillsboro, Oregon 4828 posts
7th Mar '13

My cousin calls her mom's boyfriend of almost 20 years dad. Her real dad(my dad's brother) has been in prison that whole time and my cousin has nothing to do with him. Oh and in case you're wondering, her mom hasn't married her bf because she is still married to my uncle so she can mooch off the government.