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user banned 2 kids; Silly, Belgium 6539 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Pusherman:</b>" I understand what you're trying to say, and ... [snip!] ... make what he did right. Just saying that it could have gone another way, had I been more responsible in my own choices."


In my opinion, you shouldn't ever think about had I done this or that, that wouldn't have happened. Alcohol is legal, and consuming it amongst friends is legal. You didn't do anything that is out of the ordinary and did not deserve what happened to you. Of course hindsight is 20/20 but you were living in the moment. You shouldn't be held by the decisions you made (even by yourself!) surrounding the circumstance because what was done to you was wrong in every spectrum of the word wrong. You were somewhere that you felt safe and were violated and that's the end of the discussion, regardless of whether or not alcohol is involved. I'm sorry that happened to you, but people shouldn't have to alter their behavior to accommodate people who are out to harm others.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42775 posts
7th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Pusherman:</b>" I understand what you're trying to say, and ... [snip!] ... make what he did right. Just saying that it could have gone another way, had I been more responsible in my own choices."</blockquote>



I was raped when i was 14 at a friend's birthday party. Guess i shouldn'thave worn a swimsuit to a pool party. Or better yet, not gone anywhere at all. I obviously didn't do enough to protect myself.

user banned 2 kids; Silly, Belgium 6539 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting 6 til Gwen:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Pusherman:</b>" ... [snip!] ... worn a swimsuit to a pool party. Or better yet, not gone anywhere at all. I obviously didn't do enough to protect myself."


I'm sorry to hear that. This is basically how I feel. To what extent will women have to go to 'protect' themselves? Will it eventually become that a woman should never leave home alone because something MIGHT happen to her? Which freedoms of men are inhibited due to fear?

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5359 posts
7th Mar '13

I couldn't be bothered to watch past a minute of the video as having the same screen get flashed up a million times over and over again. Anyway women don't get raped because they wear jeans or a short skirt, cover their cleavage or have it all hanging out, walk alone or get a taxi. No, women get raped because of one reason and one reason only and that is because of the man choosing to rape them and that's about the long and short of it. Anyone trying to think up other reasons is wasting their time, that is it

user banned 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6369 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting 6 til Gwen:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Pusherman:</b>" ... [snip!] ... worn a swimsuit to a pool party. Or better yet, not gone anywhere at all. I obviously didn't do enough to protect myself."


But I'm not saying that. Simple choices to take extra precautions to protect yourself are just good common sense.



Nobody asks for it, but there are animals out there. That is just a sobering FACT. I wouldn't leave my child, unattended at a park, because people, in general, cannot be trusted to not harm him or take him. If I were to leave my son unattended and he was taken, you don't think that I would be or should be held accountable for neglect? Look, you have to own YOUR part in protecting yourself.



What I did was dangerous and illegal and because I put myself in that situation I paid dearly for it. Does that mean I deserved it? Nope.



I believe this subject is being overly complicated.



You do what you can to protect yourself. Sometimes it works/helps and sometimes it doesn't but to flippantly say that you should not have to look after yourself and make wise decisions concerning your own protection is ludicrous. We lock our doors, We wear seat belts. We take birth control. All of those things are preventative measures. Should we stop doing those things while screaming that Burglars shouldn't burglarize, people should be perfect drivers (not drive drunk, for example) and we should only be able to get pregnant when we want to get pregnant? Are you saying that we should all just throw caution to the wind and stand on principle, that these things shouldn't happen? Of course not.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5359 posts
7th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" Agree. I had a debate about almost exactly what he says in this video, and was called a "rape apologist" ... [snip!] ... and take more precautions. Nobody asks to be raped, but taking precautions for your own safety is just good common sense."</blockquote>




Yes that's right, that is exactly what you were called. What was being discussed was a 15 year old child was tricked into believing she was meeting a few of her friends to hang out but what actually happened was a premeditated brutal attack, she was picked up, immediately drugged by people she trusted, transported from party to party and repeatedly gang raped by who knows how many people, where pictures and videos were taken and posted on facebook and twitter inviting more people to come and rape her. You then went on to say the reason it happened was because she had been irresponsible and had she behaved more responsibly it wouldn't have happened. Ah yes because just walking out her front door got her raped, clearly every teenage girl should know not to have friends and not hang out with anyone, women should clearly realise that if they dare to even leave the house they are putting themselves at risk of rape and should take responsibility for it :roll:

user banned 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6369 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting 6 til Gwen:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Pusherman:</b>" ... [snip!] ... worn a swimsuit to a pool party. Or better yet, not gone anywhere at all. I obviously didn't do enough to protect myself."


I am not saying that you didn't do anything to protect yourself. You were not engaging in any risky behavior. I was, though. There is the difference. Risky behaviors up the risk that something bad will happen to you. If you didn't engage in any risky behavior, then this doesn't even apply to you.

user banned 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6369 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" Agree. I had a debate about almost ... [snip!] ... if they dare to even leave the house they are putting themselves at risk of rape and should take responsibility for it :roll:"


If you'd like to link that thread in here, that would be great. That way, everyone could CLEARLY see that I hadn't read the whole article and didn't know the whole story, at first, which I admitted almost immediately. I never said anything like the dramatic statement that you did at the end of this post. Never. The conversation turned into risky behavior commentary and examples were given but I retracted any blame from the girl, once I knew the circumstance.



I was quite nice to you and you were a raving b***h to me in that thread, because you wouldn't let the fact go that I commented without knowing all of the facts.



GET OVER IT.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
7th Mar '13

if you do take protective measures and still get raped that is horrible but there are alot of horrible people out there.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
7th Mar '13

no one is blaming women or children for getting raped in the perfect world no matter how you are dressed or act you would be safe. we as women have to wake up and realize there are monsters under the bed. just bc you marry a guy and thing he is great doesnt mean you shouldnt keep an eye out for him molesting your children we cant be naive here.

user banned 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6369 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting I love Kenzi:" no one is blaming women or children for getting raped in the perfect world no matter how you are dressed ... [snip!] ... a guy and thing he is great doesnt mean you shouldnt keep an eye out for him molesting your children we cant be naive here. "


To psycho girl up there, that translates into, "quit blaming women for getting raped". She's blinded by a lack of basic common sense.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5359 posts
7th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" If you'd like to link that thread in here, that would be great. That way, everyone could CLEARLY see ... [snip!] ... to me in that thread, because you wouldn't let the fact go that I commented without knowing all of the facts. GET OVER IT."</blockquote>




I don't actually know how to find the thread because I didn't post it, that is the only way I know how to find something on here so if you know how you can do it. Oh yes admittedly I was a raving b***h to you, to suggest ANY 15 year old girl should take responsibility for being raped was absolutely disgusting IMO and also the idea that without knowing any of the facts (by your own admission on that thread and again on this one) you automatically jumped to thinking she had been irresponsible in some way, you automically jumped to blaming and questioning the victim rather than the attacker, that says something really sickening about our socities way of thinking when it comes to rape. "GET. OVER. IT." Excuse me? :roll: YOU were the one who brought it up and I addressed it so in that case why don't you GET OVER IT.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5359 posts
7th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" To psycho girl up there, that translates into, "quit blaming women for getting raped". She's blinded by a lack of basic common sense."</blockquote>




Oh yes absolutely, because I know that the only reason a women gets raped is because the rapist chooses to rape her shows a complete lack of common sense :)

user banned 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6369 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" To psycho girl up there, that translates ... [snip!] ... know that the only reason a women gets raped is because the rapist chooses to rape her shows a complete lack of common sense :)"


You just pull stuff right outta your butt.



Quit putting words in my mouth. You simply cannot separate the facts.



Fact one: Men rape women. Enticed or not, provoked or not, MEN RAPE WOMEN.



Fact two: There are sensical steps that a woman can do to keep herself safe, just like there are sensical steps that a person can take to prevent robbery, for example.



I could list a thousand things that people take as preventative measures to keep themselves from being the victim of a crime. Notice, I still called it a crime. A criminal act is a criminal act, but leaving your door unlocked certainly isn't the wisest choice, BECAUSE PEOPLE COMMIT CRIMES.



You are so pro women and rights and empowerment yet you refuse to acknowledge that power when it comes to women protecting themselves, or at least taking measures to. It is a victim mentality that I refuse to have. Seems like you are pretty happy with it, though.



I'd like to see how many dark allies you walk down, alone, or how many times you open your door to a stranger. It probably doesn't happen. Why? Because bad people do bad things and COMMON SENSE tells you that you should live cautiously.



...and quit rehashing what I initially said in that thread and then retracted. I assumed that the girl was in the same predicament as I was in and in that case, I was speaking from experience. She was tricked and drugged and that is a COMPLETELY different scenario than the ones I laid out. But, you already know this, you just can't seem to stop the nonsense.



You don't want to protect yourself and play victim? Go for it. Not my style.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5359 posts
7th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" You just pull stuff right outta your butt. Quit putting words in my mouth. You simply cannot separate ... [snip!] ... this, you just can't seem to stop the nonsense. You don't want to protect yourself and play victim? Go for it. Not my style."</blockquote>




Oh you're right I don't walk down dark allies alone, I don't automatically answer doors to strangers, I don't get so drunk I don't know my own name however I don't look at women who do and think they should "take responsibility" for being raped because I'd like to think I'm not that f**king disgusting of a person....... You say you think I probably don't do all these things and then you say I'm so full of empowerment I'm not empowered enough to take steps to protect myself, so uhm which one is it because both those statements completely contradict the other yet you say them together? Oh that's right you just spew so much bs you don't even bother to put any thought into what you are saying :roll:



and here is an important FYI if a person has been raped they don't "play victim" they ARE a victim you utter f**king moron!