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user banned 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6369 posts
7th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting -()-()-()-:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting xTJ:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" ... [snip!] ... Where in the fuck did that happen???? That's disgusting that someone would do that to anyone, let alone a child."</blockquote>



I can't read the original post, but if you are asking about the case of the girl being drugged and raped, it hit the news a few weeks back (maybe more). This poor girl was tricked and drugged and repeatedly raped and sodomized and then I think a youtube video was made, boasted about and put out there.



So totally sad.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
7th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting xTJ:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting I love Kenzi:</b>" no one is blaming the victim we are just ... [snip!] ... because it is not the womans fault, it is the man's, it is his decision and it is his behaviour that caused it not the woman."</blockquote>




I can't say that I agree with that statement "a man with no intention to rape won't be tempted because of how someone is behaving..." Alcohol & drugs (again I must emphasise while NEVER an excuse) can alter a persons way of thinking dramatically and make them do things that they wouldn't have even imagined whilst sober... Inexcusable things, at that.

Rob's Living Dead Girl Royersford, Pennsylvania 3347 posts
8th Mar '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" You just pull stuff right outta your ... [snip!] ... and here is an important FYI if a person has been raped they don't "play victim" they ARE a victim you utter fucking moron!"


I have to agree with Julie Blue eyes here.



Recognizing that there needs to be means of protecting yourself and avoiding hazardous scenarios is NOT taking responsibility for being raped or whatever horrible crime is committed against you. I don

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
8th Mar '13
Quoting Rob's Living Dead Girl:" I have to agree with Julie Blue eyes here. Recognizing that there needs to be means of protecting ... [snip!] ... and no one seems to be arguing this. But unfortunately, I love Kenzi was correct in saying that this isn
KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" Men, drunk and sober, misread "signals" that women put out all the time, whether those women intend ... [snip!] ... drastically reduce the amount of misread signals if women took more care to make their intentions clear from the beginning."</blockquote>




Oh no I'm still talking about those rapists too. Yes there are number of things a woman can do that will stop her from getting raped however that will only stop HER ALONE from being raped because the rapist will just find another victim, another woman to "misread signals" from. You end your statement by saying things could drastically be reduced if women took more care to make their intentions clear from the beginning, that is putting the responsibilty with the woman and that is wrong the responsibility lies only withtl the rapist and that can only be reduced if he chooses not to rape.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting -()-()-()-:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting xTJ:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting I love Kenzi:</b>" ... [snip!] ... dramatically and make them do things that they wouldn't have even imagined whilst sober... Inexcusable things, at that."</blockquote>




Yes alcohol and drugs can alter a person's behaviour dramatically, meaning that if genuinely a person who would never be capable of rape does whilst under the influence of these substances that the responsibility lays with them, not the victim.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rob's Living Dead Girl:</b>" I have to agree with Julie Blue eyes here. Recognizing that there needs to be means of protecting ... [snip!] ... and no one seems to be arguing this. But unfortunately, I love Kenzi was correct in saying that this isn

Drunk Blair Waldorf 2 kids; Alpharetta, Georgia 19208 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rob's Living Dead Girl:</b>" I have to agree with Julie Blue ... [snip!] ... yes absolutely you may be able to protect yourself with taking certain measures but the rapist will just rape someone else."


Only because there is always someone else not taking those precautions. if EVERY woman was more aware of their surroundings and took better care not to put themselves in those situations, then there wouldn't be anyone to rape. Rape is in many cases a crime of opportunity. YOU stupidly make it sound like "a rapist is a rapist is a rapist and NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE DOES, they will still rape." And that's where your ignorance is showing.



That drunk college student who had been flirting all night with the drunk college girl later finds himself in a room where she's passed out isn't thinking, "Oh I'm gonna rape this chick." More than likely he's more thinking, "Dude she totally wanted me earlier and now I'm gonna get some." And if EVERY college girl at that party was drinking responsibly and sticking with their friends and behaving RESPONSIBLY, then nobody at that party would get raped.



NOBODY is placing the blame on the girl except you. But you don't set your most expensive jewelry in your front yard at night and then say, "Well nobody SHOULD steal my shit."



It's NOT wrong to be safe and responsible for your own actions and to take precautions. And it's incredibly ignorant of you to say "Well if he doesn't rape you, he'll just rape someone else." So let's not even bother to practice safer behaviors at all?? That makes no sense.

weefee 1 child; Glasgow, Î, United Kingdom 438 posts
status 9th Mar '13

I can kind of see where he's coming from in the context of a nightclub and there is a fine line if everyone is drunk in terms of was it consensual or not. That said teh way a girl dresses shouldn't really affect the rape_ I know, I know ideal world etc. but if women wearing Burquas in Afghanistan or Pakistan can be raped, or nearly 50% of Tanzanian schoolgirls are raped (I'll try and find the link to that one), it's hard to argue that dress plays a huge role in stopping rapists since in these cases the women are dressed modestly and these crimes are equally opportunistic. Egypt is an example where rape and sexual harrasement is increasing dramatically and it remains a conservative culture.



Either rape is caused by sexual repression or sexual freedom, if both play a role in rape how can women protect themselves? Can we find a neutral ground between the two extremes that will protect women? Perhaps we are already in that neutral ground between freedom and repression and thus men are confused about their sexuality - on one hadn tehy are told woemn are equal, but we are objectified as sex objects by the media. Traditional ideas about the roles, attitudes and characteristics of men and women have dissolved slowly but still hold s certain amount of power.



I'm not a fan of the boobs out arse out look, but men should be able to controml themselves, no? If we believe that men cannot control their lusts, we reduce them to animals with no self control but is that really the case? This argument is often used as justification for forcing women to cover up completely. Where do we stop with the modest dressing? Long sleeves and loose trousers, long skirts, burquas?



Men often rape for power more than sex, especially if it's in a dark alley etc. Male rape is increasing and in fact is a serious problem but it's taboo so we don't talk about it. Men are mainly raped by heterosexual men and it is not because of the way they dress, it is about power and opportunity. Most rapes are, after all they are mainly perpetrated by people known to the victim, at least in cases of female rape.



I dunno but I do think it's a dangerous step to say that women should dress a certain way or do this or that. It removes men from teh discourse and lets face it, rape can only be avoided if men are involved in education and discussions about rape. Too much focus on the women, takes away from teh role of men and the ideas behind the act of rape.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting -()-()-()-:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting xTJ:</b>" ... [snip!] ... be capable of rape does whilst under the influence of these substances that the responsibility lays with them, not the victim."


I don't see how you think you are saying anything different than what I am... I completely agree & have said time and time again that it's never the victims fault... that doesn't mean precautions can't be taken.

weefee 1 child; Glasgow, Î, United Kingdom 438 posts
status 9th Mar '13
Quoting weefee:" I can kind of see where he's coming from in the context of a nightclub and there is a fine line if everyone ... [snip!] ... and discussions about rape. Too much focus on the women, takes away from teh role of men and the ideas behind the act of rape."


hmm i think i overstated the tanzania % it's a 20% drop out of girls aged 13 - 17 from preganacies of which many are linked to rape. Technically all are rape as the age of consent is 18, but of course that does not mean that the girls all did not consent to the relations. That said teh majority of these pregnancies are conceived through rape.



http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12640342

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rob's Living Dead Girl:</b>" I have to agree with Julie Blue ... [snip!] ... yes absolutely you may be able to protect yourself with taking certain measures but the rapist will just rape someone else."


... and it could happen to less someone elses if they knew how to protect themselves and not put themselves in vulnerable situations. You don't seem to understand that's what everyone is trying to say. That nobody here is blaming women or saying it's women's fault.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" Only because there is always someone else not taking those precautions. if EVERY woman was more aware ... [snip!] ... rape you, he'll just rape someone else." So let's not even bother to practice safer behaviors at all?? That makes no sense."</blockquote>




"So let's not even bother to practice safer behaviors at all."



Excuse me, you what?? Did you just add that little bit on at the end there all by yourself? I have NEVER said that, in fact I've said numerous times that yes you can take precautions, as I do myself. So where on earth you're getting from that my advice is not to bother I don't know. Your opinion however seems to be that every single women should behave responsibly then there would be no rape, wrong! If every man behaved responsibly and chose not to rape then no rape would happen. It is not the victims behaviour that causes rape it is the attackers behaviour that causes the rape. You speak as though a guy at a party who is drunk and reading the wrong signals has some dimished responsibility, as though he is some overwhelmed little poor soul who just cannot control himself under the lure of the slutty drunk girl who is flirtatious and wearing too short of a skirt, wrong. He's a rapist, end of.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
9th Mar '13

im not saying ill never be raped i hope not but i always practiced safe drinking and i watch who im out with i dont dink anymore but in college i never accepted a drink from someone i didnt know even though a guy tried i declined and if i laid my drink down i never went back to it. i didnt drink socially until i was 18-19 not when i was 14 and irresponsible about it. ive never been raped. i know it can happen to anyone anywhere i know that but i cut down bar and party rape from being responsible.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting weefee:</b>" I can kind of see where he's coming from in the context of a nightclub and there is a fine line if everyone ... [snip!] ... and discussions about rape. Too much focus on the women, takes away from teh role of men and the ideas behind the act of rape."</blockquote>



^ Absolutely every single thing this states.