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Sam H. 17 kids; New York 560 posts
7th Mar '13

I will definitely not bash you, because I had an abortion 2 years ago and am now pregnant. But I am graduating college 3 weeks after giving birth! so don't let school interfere, I have been doing my senior thesis my whole pregnancy lol.
I understand the pro's and con's of both because I have done both. Abortion is not easy, but your daughter right now is the most important thing because she is here already. You need to make a choice based solely on what is right for YOU only, because I let the man in my life then talk me into getting an abortion and I regretted not being committed to the decision and mad I let someone else make it for me. You still have some time to make a choice, SO could still be in shock. My fiance now asked me to consider aborting our son because he was so scared being 20, but after some time to cool down he was more rational to make a decision.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" Thank you. He was aware I wasn't on BC for months before I got on the pill and still did nothing to prevent. I suppose that's why I wasn't so eager to tell him that I stopped taking it."


There's a difference in these scenarios. Before you got on the pill, he had the knowledge that you could get pregnant. By not telling him that you stopped, you essentially took his choice away from him. Yes, he could have used a condom, but if he still thought you were on the pill, he might not have seen the need to. So, you weren't "eager" to tell him you stopped taking your BC, that's deceptive and manipulative behavior.

NICKEL☮POLIS 2 kids; Ontario 6268 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" A little backstory... The beginning of last month I stopped taking my BC because I wasn't taking it correctly ... [snip!] ... 23. SO just bought a house, I'm graduating college in a month.. I just don't feel like we're incapable of making this work :("


I didn't even read the post nor do I need to, the title says enough. If you don't want to have an abortion, please don't. It will be a choice you will regret for the rest of your life. One of two things will happen - he will come around, or he will leave. Either way you will be able to do it. <3

Aurilla Lawrence Due June 22 (girl); Cape Girardeau, Missouri 12 posts
7th Mar '13

My boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion and I saw it as the only way because I didn't want to hurt him. I thought he would leave me if I decided to keep the baby and he even sent me the money to do it. When I started to feel her kick I couldn't do it and I was honest with him about it and we are still together. If he loves you he won't mind that you chose life for your child. You just have to know what you want for yourself and know whether or not you could handle the rest of your life knowing the choice you made, that's what it came down to to me. If you want life, choose life. My SO is not an american citizen and we definitely have much to overcome (he's muslim, I'm christian, he's from another country) but at the end of the day if you both love each other and the child you will have togetherthen the decision is already made you just don't realize it yet.

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6327 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting SweetBabyKate:" I haven't been in your exact situation but I did have a surprise pregnancy with my ex SO. He didn't want ... [snip!] ... wasn't my place to try to force him. He and I are still friends. I've never regretted keeping her. She is the love of my life."


I'm glad it worked out for you. Their sweet little faces are just so worth it, arent they?! I raised my first alone and I wouldn't regret her, either. I honestly think there would be more heartache to abort than for things to not work out between SO and I.

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6327 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting Sam H.:" I will definitely not bash you, because I had an abortion 2 years ago and am now pregnant. But I am graduating ... [snip!] ... aborting our son because he was so scared being 20, but after some time to cool down he was more rational to make a decision."


Thanks, this makes me feel a lot better. :) I'm hoping he'll come around and realize that we're a lot more capable of parenting than he thinks.

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6327 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting PurpleBama582:" There's a difference in these scenarios. Before you got on the pill, he had the knowledge that you could ... [snip!] ... seen the need to. So, you weren't "eager" to tell him you stopped taking your BC, that's deceptive and manipulative behavior. "


I am aware of that. Says it right there in my OP. :D



I'm totally guilty of being deceptive, but let me make it clear that it was not on purpose. I fucked up.. as we all do from time to time.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" Thanks, this makes me feel a lot better. :) I'm hoping he'll come around and realize that we're a lot more capable of parenting than he thinks. "


He might come around and love the child, but he might not trust YOU again, because you ultimately deceived him and let him believe you were still on birth control.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" I am aware of that. Says it right there in my OP. :D I'm totally guilty of being deceptive, but let me make it clear that it was not on purpose. I fucked up.. as we all do from time to time."


Not on purpose? You CHOSE to stop taking your BC...how is that 'not on purpose'?

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6327 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting Aurilla Lawrence:" My boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion and I saw it as the only way because I didn't want to hurt ... [snip!] ... you both love each other and the child you will have togetherthen the decision is already made you just don't realize it yet."


That last part says it all. Thank you, you're totally right.



I honestly don't even recognize the guy talking to me about abortion.. it's totally out of his character. Not him at all. I think I just need to give him some time.

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6327 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting PurpleBama582:" Not on purpose? You CHOSE to stop taking your BC...how is that 'not on purpose'?"


I've already stated that I wasn't on BC for over half of our relationship. I really didn't think the 2-3 weeks it was going to take for me to get my IUD would really matter.... Obviously, I have learned my lesson.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" I've already stated that I wasn't on BC for over half of our relationship. I really didn't think the ... [snip!] ... think the 2-3 weeks it was going to take for me to get my IUD would really matter.... Obviously, I have learned my lesson."


Well, as has already been stated, he can't make you get an abortion, but you can't force him to be a father. You say you don't think you two are incapable of making it work, but if there are feelings of hurt and mistrust there, your relationship is going to take a LOT of work, if it can recover from it at all. You say he has forgiven you, but don't expect him to forget or to trust you completely yet.

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6327 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting PurpleBama582:" Well, as has already been stated, he can't make you get an abortion, but you can't force him to be a ... [snip!] ... if it can recover from it at all. You say he has forgiven you, but don't expect him to forget or to trust you completely yet. "


No, no... I said that we were capable of parenting. The question is not are we gonna work this relationship out, it's am I gonna keep this baby? I think you're missing the point.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" No, no... I said that we were capable of parenting. The question is not are we gonna work this relationship out, it's am I gonna keep this baby? I think you're missing the point."


I know what you said. Whether you keep the baby or not is up to you. But YOU were the one who put the rest out there, so, you can't expect people not to comment on that as well.

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
7th Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" Not bad at all? Yeah, if you're a cold hearted b***h."


wow -- no need for the name calling. there are a LOT of names we can call YOU right now... but for the most part we're adults in this thread and will refrain from that... too bad you're so immature.



and yes, its not bad at all when you compare it to other abortion procedures and techniques. It's misoprostol, and it induces a miscarriage. Yes, you will cramp, yes you will bleed. Just like a miscarriage.