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No sex post baby :( New Mommy...again! 3 kids; Indiana 2 posts
9th Mar '13

My boyfriend and I have been together 5 yrs. Hes 32 and im 27. We got pregnant in April and had our beautiful baby girl in December. The problem is...we havent had sex since October! He said it was akward because of my belly. I can understand that but then he went on to say that its boring because we only did it missionary. Well now its 2 1/2 months post partem and still nothing :( I cook all our meals, clean the house, tell him how good he looks to me. I make sexual innuendos to no avail. We say "i love u" and kiss when we leave eachother but mostly from habit. He watches the baby while i run errands, cuddles and plays with her. So i dont believe he feels left out. Im at my wits end! Im thicker than i was before the baby ( 5'6 & 170lbs.) I am getting to the point that maybe hes getting it elsewhere. No proof, just intuition...I dont know what to do anymore. I feel like screaming and yelling at him to get his attention about how I feel but then it seems like such a trivial matter...is it??

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
9th Mar '13

You've tried talking to him about it? Maybe just walk around naked and see what happens.

...lll 1 child; Rutland, Vermont 1400 posts
9th Mar '13

maybe its just stress? babies take a lot out of us emotionally and physically.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting New Mommy...again!:</b>" My boyfriend and I have been together 5 yrs. Hes 32 and im 27. We got pregnant in April and had our beautiful ... [snip!] ... like screaming and yelling at him to get his attention about how I feel but then it seems like such a trivial matter...is it??"</blockquote>




Sex is less important after kids for some people. It is strange but, it isn't anything about your physical appearance. Don't take it personal. It is just like a secondary thought to the happenings in the home. For me personally, I am less likely to be intimate and free when the kids are in the home. I have a paranoia of them coming in our room. They are young and still crawl in our bed. My husband is more of a "freak" and would do it in a movie theater if he felt inclined to do so. When we don't have the kids at home or we are in a hotel alone, it is like it was before kids.



Try talking to him about your feelings. He might also be worried about pushing you or hurting you. The standard healing time is 6-8 weeks depending and, you are new parents. Exhaustion is at the head of the table.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Krystie321:</b>" maybe its just stress? babies take a lot out of us emotionally and physically. "</blockquote>




:!:

Addi's Momma Due January 23 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Florissant, Missouri 5480 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting New Mommy...again!:</b>" My boyfriend and I have been together ... [snip!] ... hurting you. The standard healing time is 6-8 weeks depending and, you are new parents. Exhaustion is at the head of the table."


:!::!:



After having DD, sex became an after thought. It just isn't as important to me as it was before.

ρiηkie ρie 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Kentucky 21902 posts
9th Mar '13

I'd try talking to him. Tell him how you feel. Or, next time he runs an errand, put the baby down for a nap and greet him at the door with nothing on but a pair of heels. Because sometimes you have to make an effort. Not to mention, in my experience men aren't very good at picking up hints, sometimes you just have to be straight forward and tell them what's up. He might think you're the one who isn't interested.

Nicola. 2 kids; Huntsville, AL, United States 7834 posts
9th Mar '13

I would definitely talk to him about how you are feeling. Maybe he just doesn't know that you want it or how you are feeling about not having sex. Men do not pick up on hints very well, lol.



Personally, I find it odd to not be having sex at all. It lessened for us of course due to lack to opportunity but we have sex as much as possible.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nicola.:</b>" I would definitely talk to him about how you are feeling. Maybe he just doesn't know that you want it ... [snip!] ... odd to not be having sex at all. It lessened for us of course due to lack to opportunity but we have sex as much as possible."</blockquote>




Look at her timeline of being pp

Nicola. 2 kids; Huntsville, AL, United States 7834 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Nicola.:</b>" I would definitely talk to him about how you are ... [snip!] ... course due to lack to opportunity but we have sex as much as possible."</blockquote> Look at her timeline of being pp"


2 1/2 months? So about 10 weeks. After 6 weeks she should be cleared. A whole month without sex? Especially since not having it since October.



She wants it, so she should talk to him about it.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nicola.:</b>" 2 1/2 months? So about 10 weeks. After 6 weeks she should be cleared. A whole month without sex? Especially since not having it since October. She wants it, so she should talk to him about it."</blockquote>




6-8 weeks. You don't know for fact when she was cleared. I agree that they should talk but, it is not as serious at this stage in the game as your reply made it sound.

New Mommy...again! 3 kids; Indiana 2 posts
9th Mar '13

Thanks everyone for responding! Sorry I dont have a pic up...i havent figured out how to do it yet :) He got iff work about 30 minutes ago and, me being me, i bluntly asked why we dont have sex. His reponse was "i dont know". So I told him how I felt and he just sat there. Yes, i got emotional, told him that the only man I want in this world lives in the same house as me yet makes me feel like im unwanted. He then said he had to drop a co-worker off at home ( he was in the truck) and left. The older 2 kids were at their grandparents and now Im going to pick them up so who knows when we can finish our conversation :( Its soo frustrating! No, sex isnt everything but I just want to connect with him and cant seem to.

Nicola. 2 kids; Huntsville, AL, United States 7834 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Nicola.:</b>" 2 1/2 months? So about 10 weeks. After 6 weeks ... [snip!] ... she was cleared. I agree that they should talk but, it is not as serious at this stage in the game as your reply made it sound."


Its not a huge issue to not have sex yet but if it is bothering her to the point its making her think he may be getting it elsewhere then it is kind of serious in my opinion.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nicola.:</b>" Its not a huge issue to not have sex yet but if it is bothering her to the point its making her think he may be getting it elsewhere then it is kind of serious in my opinion."</blockquote>




I am agreeing that she needs to have a conversation. It just isn't a HUGE concern at this point. It is their first child and a huge adjustment. If we were talking 6 months then it is serious.

carla468 3 kids; Oakland Charter Township, Michigan 110 posts
10th Mar '13
am agreeing that she needs to have a conversation. It just isn't a HUGE concern at this point. It is their first child and a huge adjustment. If we were talking 6 months then it is serious.


I dont think it's their first child, I think it's their 3rd...if so I'm curious how things went after the first two. Otherwise, I agree with Not Tellin. I don't think its as serious at this point. Anyway, to the original poster...how did things go when he came back home after dropping off his coworker??? Don't worry about the awkwardness in his answer when you came right out and asked him. He wasn't expecting it plus he had to drive a coworker home. But it's good that you brought it up.