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Terrible Twos... Clopton™ 2 kids; Tulsa, OK, United States 3237 posts
9th Mar '13

...might be the death of me. DD is driving me nuts. Ever since DS arrived nearly 4 weeks ago, DD is seriously awful. Biting, hitting, screaming, kicking, crying, yelling, destroying objects on purpose, not listening deliberately. Timeouts and redirection do not work anymore. Is my daughter possessed by demons? When I try involving her with DS, like holding him, changing diapers, changing clothes, bath time. She just screams at me or throws the diapers in the trash or whatever it is. Her jealously towards her brother is crazy. I can't leave her in the room alone with him. The one time I did to grab another burp cloth in the bedroom, she was attempting flipping the vibrating chair. I caught her just in time before DS was hurt. She has hated her brother since he was born. There is no exaggeration. Friends and family have came over and said, "she really doesn't like the baby" or "keep an eye on her with that baby" or "did you see that awful look she gave him?" or "she knows she's trying to hurt him". What the hell.... I've tried redirection. DS still sleeps a lot during the day so while he sleeps, DD has my full attention. She still has a bad attitude towards me like I betrayed her by bringing another baby in this house. Lol sounds funny but seriously. I'm at a loss and I've tried everything. She still receives a lot of my attention and I still do things for her to make her feel special. I don't know what else to do. Neither does my family... They offer to take her for a few hours when I need help and still no one has done that for me. I think she just needs a break from mommy and brother. :(

Cat Abbott 2 kids; British Columbia 1389 posts
9th Mar '13

Aww! So frustrating! I don't have personal experience with this (yet!) but from what I've read, it's normal and should pass in time. Some kids take longer to adjust than others. I don't have any advice really, just hang in there and I hope she adjusts to the change soon! Maybe read some books on gentle/positive discipline.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Clopton™:</b>" ...might be the death of me. DD is driving me nuts. Ever since DS arrived nearly 4 weeks ago, DD is seriously ... [snip!] ... a few hours when I need help and still no one has done that for me. I think she just needs a break from mommy and brother. :("</blockquote>




Make time for just you and her. She is jealous. I over involved my girls with my pregnancy so they were excited about their brother. They were 25 months old when he was born. All you can do at this point is thwart the jealousy by making time for just you and her. Reassure her how important she is. Praise the "big sister" role and get over excited about all the good she does. She is looking for attention. Redirect the bad behavior but give less attention to it than the good. It should slow down.

----&& 2 kids; Scituate, Rhode Island 3903 posts
9th Mar '13

Its a huge adjustment, and I still haven't worked through it yet. I will say start with yourself and work from there. Make sure even though you are tired to keep a calm tone of voice even when she does something negative. She will also feed off of your attitude. Sometimes I just have to walk away and come back to DS when I've calmed down because if I try to deal with him when I'm frustrated he will just become more hostile. Keep her busy, fed and napped...those are often triggers to my sons bad behavior if he's hungry, tired or bored/needing attention. All in all she is just going to have to get used to the change and its not something that will happen over night.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cat Abbott:</b>" Aww! So frustrating! I don't have personal experience with this (yet!) but from what I've read, it's ... [snip!] ... really, just hang in there and I hope she adjusts to the change soon! Maybe read some books on gentle/positive discipline."</blockquote>




Start getting your LO excited about the baby! Take her to pick out a special something for the baby from her. I took my girls to build a bear and let them make one for their brother and themselves. It was something for the three of them. They were so proud to make it for him as his first stuffie. The more excited she is the less trouble you have. The normal behavior issues are going to be there but nothing like if you compound jealousy with them.

Cat Abbott 2 kids; British Columbia 1389 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cat Abbott:</b>" Aww! So frustrating! I don't have personal ... [snip!] ... less trouble you have. The normal behavior issues are going to be there but nothing like if you compound jealousy with them."

I plan on it, but right now my son just has no concept at all. He'll be 2 on the 23rd, and when I talk to him about a baby, he looks at me like, huh?

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cat Abbott:</b>" I plan on it, but right now my son just has no concept at all. He'll be 2 on the 23rd, and when I talk to him about a baby, he looks at me like, huh?"</blockquote>




Neither did my girls when I got pregnant. I took them to the u/s and such. I took them to all my appointments. They heard heartbeats, saw measurements ect.... They literally celebrated their 2nd birthday 1 month and a week before he was born. It is a matter of consistency and making it a daily topic. The baby isn't temporary. It isn't going away. Lol I would just start now and keep at it. It will save you down the road.

Clopton™ 2 kids; Tulsa, OK, United States 3237 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting ----&&:" Its a huge adjustment, and I still haven't worked through it yet. I will say start with yourself and ... [snip!] ... attention. All in all she is just going to have to get used to the change and its not something that will happen over night."


This is my issue. I'm overly tired that I don't have the patience anymore. I really need to work on this. Tomorrow I'm taking DD to the park then to get some ice cream (just her and I) then we're going to visit her favorite 2nd cousin. Hopefully that's a start for us to turn around both of our bad attitudes. LOL Thank you for the advice.

Clopton™ 2 kids; Tulsa, OK, United States 3237 posts
9th Mar '13

Thanks everyone for the advice.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Clopton™:</b>" This is my issue. I'm overly tired that I don't have the patience anymore. I really need to work on ... [snip!] ... favorite 2nd cousin. Hopefully that's a start for us to turn around both of our bad attitudes. LOL Thank you for the advice."</blockquote>




Good luck!!!