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deleteddddddd EpicThunderCat! ; 1 child; Oregon 9400 posts
9th Mar '13

DELETEDDDDDDDDD

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50791 posts
9th Mar '13

He probably doesn't make an effort anymore since it hasn't been reciprocated.



If you don't want to end the relationship definitely couples counseling.

EpicThunderCat! ; 1 child; Oregon 9400 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting Brink:" He probably doesn't make an effort anymore since it hasn't been reciprocated. If you don't want to end the relationship definitely couples counseling."


No, this has been going on, on his end ,for over a year... I just met Robert like 1 month ago... and have had no crushes on anyone else so this is not common for me.

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50791 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting EpicThunderCat!:</b>" No, this has been going on, on his end ,for over a year... I just met Robert like 1 month ago... and have had no crushes on anyone else so this is not common for me."</blockquote>




How long have you only been having sex every 3-4 months?

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
9th Mar '13

You need to stop seeing this other man. There is no other option if you want to continue your relationship. Then you need to get couples therapy ASAP.

EpicThunderCat! ; 1 child; Oregon 9400 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting EpicThunderCat!:</b>" No, this has been going on, on his end ... [snip!] ... on anyone else so this is not common for me."</blockquote> How long have you only been having sex every 3-4 months?"


...Like a year and a half.

EpicThunderCat! ; 1 child; Oregon 9400 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting Captain Obvious:" You need to stop seeing this other man. There is no other option if you want to continue your relationship. Then you need to get couples therapy ASAP."


How can I stop seeing him ever when he is literally around all my friend and my neighbor is one of those friends!... D: I mean I can stop texting him for sure. I am fine with that... but its a little hard not to ever see him...

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50791 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting EpicThunderCat!:</b>" ...Like a year and a half."</blockquote>




Okay so I stand by my previous statement. Why would he keep making an effort when he's consistently shot down.



Definitely time for counseling.

EpicThunderCat! ; 1 child; Oregon 9400 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting EpicThunderCat!:</b>" ...Like a year and a half."</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... by my previous statement. Why would he keep making an effort when he's consistently shot down. Definitely time for counseling."


I wasn't shooting him down previously? I was really trying but I can't force things... I have tried for a year or so.
I just texted him saying we should go to counseling.

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting EpicThunderCat!:" How can I stop seeing him ever when he is literally around all my friend and my neighbor is one of those ... [snip!] ... friends!... D: I mean I can stop texting him for sure. I am fine with that... but its a little hard not to ever see him... "


how often do you really see your friends? and if saving your relationship is top priority you may need to take a step back from your friends for the moment.

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50791 posts
9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Obvious:</b>" how often do you really see your friends? and if saving your relationship is top priority you may need to take a step back from your friends for the moment."</blockquote>




Agreed

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
9th Mar '13

You're obviously thinking about taking it further with the other guy and hat is just not fair to your boyfriend or your life together. Stop cuddling, you know what you're doing. I personally think ending a four year relationship that is happy and working and involves a family (your child) because you've lost the spark and met another guy just cheapens what you have at home and it's really not fair.
Being in love is sometimes a choice. Every single relationship has its ups and downs. You have to make a choice to either work for it with your current boyfriend or end it, but you need to understand that this kind of cycle happens in every single relationship. You will never be in a relationship that makes you feel ignited and excited every second of the day, you will have to work for it in another relationship too.
Couples counciling is a great idea in my opinion. It will help you make your choice about whether or not the relationship is worth saving, and if it is it will give youths tools to keep each other happy. I would do that before ending your current relationship.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
9th Mar '13
Quoting EpicThunderCat!:" How can I stop seeing him ever when he is literally around all my friend and my neighbor is one of those ... [snip!] ... friends!... D: I mean I can stop texting him for sure. I am fine with that... but its a little hard not to ever see him... "


You're making excuses about why you can't stop seeing him. If you are serious about wanting to work on your relationship, you have to put some conscious effort into not being around this other guy. If it means you don't go to your neighbor's when he's there, do that. When making plans with your friends, you ask who's going to be there, and if he is one of those going, you skip out on those plans.



Seek couples counseling. As far as sex goes, the less you have it, the less you will actually want it, and the reverse is also true. The MORE sex you have, the more you will want. You have to put effort into it, and you can't go off into lala land while doing it.

Tweakrachie 84 kids; Australia 846 posts
9th Mar '13

Maybe you just need confirmation that it's okay to move on with your life.
If love is dead and your relationship is suffering maybe thats just it.
I don't realy know to tell you the truth, there are parts of my life where I have yearned for more love but excepted the one-on-one time or honeymoon period was over I have been with my husband for 8 years and we have had our ups and down but I have never wanted another persons attention.



You really need to sit down and stop fantasising about been swooned over because I dose'nt last, What do you want in a relationship maybe it's just your not ready to settle down.

Elle&Cole 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Rio Rancho, NM, United States 22838 posts
status 9th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting SavageDarling:</b>" You're obviously thinking about taking it further with the other guy and hat is just not fair to your ... [snip!] ... and if it is it will give youths tools to keep each other happy. I would do that before ending your current relationship."</blockquote>




Well said. Op DH and I have been together for 7 years. We don't have a "spark" anymore and sexual things aren't as important as they once were to us. Our dd/health/happiness are more important...you know? Maybe that's just us...but were beyond that spark feeling