The only time I don't want sex is when I'm pregnant.. so I'm no help lol
Probably a self confidence thing. Idk I'm like you (well was. My pp body has made me go up and down with my body image and that has affected my self confidence in bed).
When a relationship is deteriorating, the attraction wears off and sex gets less important. A lot of times, relationships are over long before they're over. In the beginning of the relationship, sex is super important but when you're starting not to like the guy, its not.
Just my theory.
Quoting lamr - 02-08-13-21:" When a relationship is deteriorating, the attraction wears off and sex gets less important. A lot of ... [snip!] ... beginning of the relationship, sex is super important but when you're starting not to like the guy, its not. Just my theory."
I thought about that too. I guess I'm just different in that aspect. When my ex husband and I were starting our divorce, we still slept together as a way to try to "reattach" to one another. It was always super intimate, we snuggled and talked afterwards, all that crap.
I notice the opposite. Women want sex more than men & then lose their mind when men don't want it as much, because stereotypes say men want to have sex all the time.
Idk. I've always been into it just as much as the dude. My ex boyfriend wasn't interested in sex at one point, we slept together like once every few weeks. Come to find out, he was cheating on me, so that was probably why. Asshole.
So either that, or I would assume it's a self confidence thing. Maybe your ex's never assured their partner at the time that they were pleasing them in bed...
I have always been like you, but have been almost a year without sex at all. I have been dating the most amazing guy for several months and I love him so so much, but I have zero desire to have sex at all. None. Zero. We decided when we first started dating that we wouldn't have sex (ideally until we are at least engaged), but I know it kills him that I don't even WANT to. I don't know what the deal is and I have tons of guilt about it. The thing is, it's not that I'm not attracted to him (we actually dated about 7 years ago and did have sex then)...but I have immense guilt about it and can't figure out what the deal is. I always thought that girls who didn't want it were crazy, but now I get it.
For me I am not all that interested in sex and never really has been other than when I was prego and now that I am a mommy of two I am even less interested as I am always far to tired
I can somewhat relate to what these guys have been dealing with. I wouldn't say that my issue is self-confidence (but, could be some of it). But, I really just don't have the urge to have sex. I am extrememly attracted to my husband, and generally enjoy having sex with him. However, I don't crave sex with him and if we go days without doing it I'm not upset or feel like I need it. My husband and I have tried everything we can think of and I just can't seem to get pleasure out of sex...which is probably the main reason I don't really mind whether or not we do it. I enjoy having sex, and it's not like it doesn't feel good at all, it's just that I don't get extreme pleasure from it. If I could figure this out (I've even resorted to thinking something is wrong with my body!) I think my mindset would change....but until then, I don't see things changing..
I am overweight, but never been self concious around my husband about that.
however, I have a real problem with him touching my nipples. I dont know why, I want to like it, I want to love it, but it gives me the same feeling of listening to nails on a chalkboard, and completely turns me off. every once in a while I will enjoy it, but that is VERY rare. very very rare.
so, when we have sex, I get anxious that he will want to touch them, even him touching my boobs makes me uncomfortable.
and its not just him either, if my nipples rub against my shirt the wrong way or the towel while trying to dry my body after a shower, its annoying and can put me in a bad mood.
I have no idea why I am like this. it really sucks. I would love sex so much more if I could just cut off my nipples...or just get rid of the anxiety. I have even thought about if its possible to cut the nerves that go to the nipples, so I just dont feel it anymore.
I love to have sex. But when you have relationship issues (like I have right now), I don't even want to look at him like that. I cringe even thinking about it. I think if he doesn't do the things in the relationship he should be doing (especially as a father) that I lost the want to be intimate with him. We are going to try to work on things, maybe even go to counseling since we have been together for almost 5 years. I hope strengthening our relationship will help our sex life.
I'd say self confidence mostly, or that its just not something they enjoy. I rarely want sex just because I don't really feel like I want it lol. And a LOT of the times, I don't want it because I really hate everything about myself and don't want SO touching me because I feel unattractive. I usually am not having issues with my SO..just don't feel like it most of the time. We do it like...3-5 times a month.
People are different. And even the needs of the same person can change (and change back again).
There are soo many reasons for a person not to want sex.
It's almost as asking yourself why some people don't like the food you like. Too many possible reasons - and many of those reasons are probably not even conscious.
I'm not interested in sex, ever.
Ok, maybe once a month or every two months. SO isn't happy with that but eh, not like I can force it.
I feel guilty for feeling sexual at all. In my own head sex is dirty and gross and I don't want anything to do with it.