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Big story. Lots of questions. Please help. O's mamma 1 child; Springfield, Illinois 2455 posts
11th Mar '13

So, my SO && I recently were married on February 11th. I work at a retail store and he currently works nowhere because he's joining the military (&&seems to be taking his time doing so) needless to say, I pay for everything. Which is including the car (it's in his name tho--we got it before I was 18 ). Just this morning we got into an argument because he slapped our daughter in the mouth for biting him (didn't tell her no, explain it, anything) so I took her and calmed her down and have him my wedding ring, and told him to leave. After seeing him do that to her I don't trust him with her at all. And when I'm at work he's the one watching her. Now I'm stuck at home with no way to work and no one to watch her because he has the car. I'm going to lose my job. Fabulous. I'll have to start completely over. Any advice on the matter? Or ideas of what to do?

Snickles 4 kids; California 3067 posts
11th Mar '13

I think you overreacted a bit. Did you even try to talk to him about it? Jumping to leaving him like that makes me think maybe there is more going on with your relationship.

ThreeLittleBirds Due August 28; 3 kids; Pueblo West, CO, United States 952 posts
11th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Snickles:</b>" I think you overreacted a bit. Did you even try to talk to him about it? Jumping to leaving him like that makes me think maybe there is more going on with your relationship. "</blockquote>




Exactly. I would assume these things happen a lot.

Buzz and Almond Joys momm 2 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 12593 posts
11th Mar '13

My advice is go back and have a talk with him about why that was inappropriate and see how he reacts. And how hard was the slap?

♥K + 1 (12 weeks) Due September 1; 1 child; Dildo, 33078 posts
11th Mar '13
Quoting Snickles:" I think you overreacted a bit. Did you even try to talk to him about it? Jumping to leaving him like that makes me think maybe there is more going on with your relationship. "


I completely agree. It seems a bit excessive to not talk to him about it and just jump straight to leaving.

O's mamma 1 child; Springfield, Illinois 2455 posts
11th Mar '13

Nothing more. I was hit as a child. I'm not having it with her. He hit her really hard. I don't even spank her. I don't tolerate any type of abuse. Hitting will only teach her to hit.

♥K + 1 (12 weeks) Due September 1; 1 child; Dildo, 33078 posts
11th Mar '13
Quoting Olivia Novalee's Mommy:" Nothing more. I was hit as a child. I'm not having it with her. He hit her really hard. I don't even spank her. I don't tolerate any type of abuse. Hitting will only teach her to hit."


Are you sure it wasn't a knee jerk reaction to being bitten? Obviously not a child but when my cat nips at me and I instinctively swat at him when he does it, without even thinking.
ETA it's obviously not ok to hit a child, but i would talk to him before jumping right to leaving and get to the root of WHY he did it.

Buzz and Almond Joys momm 2 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 12593 posts
11th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Olivia Novalee's Mommy:</b>" Nothing more. I was hit as a child. I'm not having it with her. He hit her really hard. I don't even spank her. I don't tolerate any type of abuse. Hitting will only teach her to hit."</blockquote>




Was it like a huge smack where a hand print welted or a light smack he reacted with when bit.



You both need to be on the same level of discipline - if not you will both not agree with the other causing serious stress and confusion for the kid.

O's mamma 1 child; Springfield, Illinois 2455 posts
11th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥K:</b>" I completely agree. It seems a bit excessive to not talk to him about it and just jump straight to leaving."</blockquote>




I guess I could have talked to him. But what is there to explain to him? You don't hit a child. Especially not in the face. And never that hard.

Sarah Beth Cline 2 kids; Missouri 246 posts
11th Mar '13

Everyone is entitled to their opinions but I wouldn't allow my husband to smack my kids either. I would suggest trying to find a family member to help you until things cool down and go from there. Sorry your going thru this!

Snickles 4 kids; California 3067 posts
11th Mar '13
Quoting Olivia Novalee's Mommy:" Nothing more. I was hit as a child. I'm not having it with her. He hit her really hard. I don't even spank her. I don't tolerate any type of abuse. Hitting will only teach her to hit."


So leaving him without talking about it and then possibly losing your job is all worth it over one smack for biting? I mean she was doing something wrong and like it or not a lot of people do smack for biting, so maybe he was brought up with that being ok and thats how he corrected the situation. I think you and him need to sit down and have a conversation. It seems juvenile to me that you would just leave without as much as a conversation.

O's mamma 1 child; Springfield, Illinois 2455 posts
11th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥K:</b>" Are you sure it wasn't a knee jerk reaction to being bitten? Obviously not a child but when my cat nips ... [snip!] ... obviously not ok to hit a child, but i would talk to him before jumping right to leaving and get to the root of WHY he did it."</blockquote>




It wasn't a quick movement. He waited until she let go to do it. Which is why I acted like I did. I thought he was going to explain not to do that. Instead he smacks her across the face.
And yes it was red. No welt. But bright red.

♥K + 1 (12 weeks) Due September 1; 1 child; Dildo, 33078 posts
11th Mar '13
Quoting Olivia Novalee's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥K:</b>" I completely agree. It seems a bit excessive ... [snip!] ... talked to him. But what is there to explain to him? You don't hit a child. Especially not in the face. And never that hard."


Maybe HE has an explanation. That it was a unintentional reaction and now he's aware of it, he can control it?

O's mamma 1 child; Springfield, Illinois 2455 posts
11th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sarah Beth Cline:</b>" Everyone is entitled to their opinions but I wouldn't allow my husband to smack my kids either. I would ... [snip!] ... would suggest trying to find a family member to help you until things cool down and go from there. Sorry your going thru this!"</blockquote>



I have zero family here. Otherwise I would.

O's mamma 1 child; Springfield, Illinois 2455 posts
11th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Snickles:</b>" So leaving him without talking about it and then possibly losing your job is all worth it over one smack ... [snip!] ... need to sit down and have a conversation. It seems juvenile to me that you would just leave without as much as a conversation. "</blockquote>



When it comes to the well being of my daughter, yes