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April♥ 1 child; Georgia 560 posts
13th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☮ Phuket:</b>" I have no advice, except its always a bad idea to sleep with your teacher. Unless he is Ezra Fitts. Lol"</blockquote>




This... :)

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
13th Mar '13

Your choice shouldnt be based on what other people will think, say, or do. The choice as to if you abort,adopt, or parent should be 100% whats best for you and the possible child. Who can give it the best life. If thats not you then seriously consider adoption. If you cant handle adoption or dont want to go through a pregnancy then abort. Time is limited where all three options are available to you so you need to decide and be strong in your choice. Do you have a job? A stable living environment? Insurance? A way to care for a baby both emotionally and financially without the help of others. You dont have to put a father on the birth certificate but if you want the father to pay child support he will have to do a paternity test. Just because he is ordered to pay doesn't mean he will. Look at the worst case which is its just you and baby with no help or support system. Can you do it? Is that the life you want for your child? If yes then there is your choice. If no then you have decide whats best for you abortion or adoption.

mommakatof3 Due September 15; 3 kids; 2 angel babies; DeRidder, Louisiana 477 posts
14th Mar '13

If you dont want to have an abortion then dont do it. Your going to live with your choice for the rest of your life. And you shouldnt feel bad about the baby daddy not wanting to be in the baby's life he doesnt sound like someone you could trust. Plus there is a lot of single moms out there that are great. My sister is one and she does better then if she stayed with her pos babydaddy. Everyone does stupid stuff no one is perfect. Doesnt mean this baby did anything wrong. But this is up to its ur choice it doesnt matter what anyone says either way .if you choose to have abortion or to be a mom. Good luck

peekin3 Racine, Wisconsin 289 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Youngtroubledgirl14:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" Then dont. But you cant hide a child. You ... [snip!] ... is have told him right away I'd have had an abortion so early I could pretend it never happened. Now I'm messed up for life."</blockquote>




You have to stop comparing yourself to his wife. There's no comparison, you had a one night stand. He loves (or at least loved her) enough to marry her. There's no need to beat yourself up because you think you are less than her. There was no emotional bond (at least on his part). That should have absolutely no bearing in your decision. All that matters right now is you and baby. Take him out of the equation. This is what happens when you have unprotected sex. Be thankful all you got out of it was the pregnancy. It could have been a death sentence.



Good luck. I hope you find peace with your decision.

talexys 1 child; Ontario 1138 posts
14th Mar '13

Horrible decision to sleep with a married man of over 20 years!?...as for the abortion don't go through with it if you don't want to. Too bad this married man wasn't smart enough to use the proper precautions considering hes MARRIED. He sounds like a real winner. And idiot.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36553 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting talexys:" Horrible decision to sleep with a married man of over 20 years!?...as for the abortion don't go through ... [snip!] ... married man wasn't smart enough to use the proper precautions considering hes MARRIED. He sounds like a real winner. And idiot."


Seriously!



I have done the pill abortion, but like the others have said its inducing a miscarriage. And only do it for yourself if you want it! Your life wouldnt be messed up if you decide to do abortion. I was 19 when I got pregnnat iwth my oldest. If you are sure you are going to keep it, I would make sure you have a very strong support system around you. Because being a single mom isnt a walk in the park. :) Good luck.

talexys 1 child; Ontario 1138 posts
14th Mar '13

Yes and don't just keep it because you expect him to come around because that is likely not going to be the case..considering he has a life with a woman already.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36553 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting talexys:" Yes and don't just keep it because you expect him to come around because that is likely not going to be the case..considering he has a life with a woman already."

!!!



He will write you off and never see you or the baby again.

Mama Melis 3 kids; California 59500 posts
14th Mar '13

The more I read this, the more irritated I get.



You don't sound like a 19 year old. You still sound like the middle-aged school girl with a crush on your teacher.



Listen,



He took advantage of you. He's disgusting. Stop saying, "he doesn't want a baby with me but he wants them with her." That's his wife and has been for a LONG time.



You were never in the long term plan. You were a escape for him and it resulted in poor decisions and you getting pregnant.



It's not his wife's fault, it's not his kids fault.



It's BOTH of your fault. He cheated and you slept with a unavailable man.



Now, it's not about you and him. There is a baby involved. If your reasonings to keep this child is to gain his attention, grow up.



I've had an abortion myself 9 years ago, I took the pill. It was the most horrendous pain I've ever felt. I didn't want to have an abortion and at the time I felt pressured.



I strongly recommend you talking to your parents. Whether you abort or not you need support.



If you keep the child, be prepared to deal with the wrath and judgement from his family and your peers.



I'd recommend adoption if you do not abort.



Goodluck!

user banned 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6369 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama Melis:</b>" The more I read this, the more irritated I get. You don't sound like a 19 year old. You still sound ... [snip!] ... to deal with the wrath and judgement from his family and your peers. I'd recommend adoption if you do not abort. Goodluck!"</blockquote>




<claps>

oooh Mama! 1 child; Michigan 231 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama Melis:</b>" The more I read this, the more irritated I get. You don't sound like a 19 year old. You still sound ... [snip!] ... to deal with the wrath and judgement from his family and your peers. I'd recommend adoption if you do not abort. Goodluck!"</blockquote>




This! Thank you for saying it! OP, of course he wants his kids that he has with his wife.. That's his family with his wife! Did you really expect him to want a child with you from a one night stand? Don't be silly.

thisunrest India 10364 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Youngtroubledgirl14:</b>" He was one of my middle school teacher. I've always had a crush on him. I never thought he felt the same ... [snip!] ... I feel like running away but I have nowhere to go. And Idk I hate that I have to hide away from him and our families. Advice?"</blockquote>



The pregnancy is the tip of the iceberg here. I don't know how old you are but you sound young enough that your teacher should never have touched you.



If that's the case you need to tell your parents everything and charges need to be pressed. The fact that you can't see how wrong he is makes it sound like you haven't matured enough yet to take on parenting.



Please talk to your parents. Planned Parenthood has counseling services for undecided women. A good counselor will go over all your options with you without pushing abortion.



If you don't want to abort no one can make you, but raising a human being isn't something you do on a whim. It's serious, it's permanent, it's 24-7.
Really, really listen to the adults around you that have your best interests at heart, because they might see a bigger picture that you currently don't.

thisunrest India 10364 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:</b>" It says she's 19 on her profile."</blockquote>




Ah. That changes some things, OP. you're a legal adult so forget what I said about how wrong your teacher was. I'd assumed you were fourteen. If you're nineteen he's not a pedophile, just a run-of-the-mill douchebag.

slayera Due February 2 (twins); 4 kids; 3 angel babies; nowhere, ca, United States 1390 posts
14th Mar '13

wow! he sounds like a piece of shit. i think hes pressuring u because he wanted the sex 'free & clear'. forget him. if it were me id talk to my parents & probably keep it. good luck with ur decision.

Jessica X 2 kids; Colorado 51 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:" While it was wrong to sleep with a married man knowing he's married...I wouldn't let anyone pressure you into an abortion if that's not what you want."


Was just going to say he couldn't have been all that devoted to his wife!! Make this decision for you,,,no one else. Also, have you thought about contacting the wife? I would...since you re carrying his child...she should know. You might not be the only one..?