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Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
14th Mar '13

That's total crap. You need to tell him to step it up. DH works 10hr days and still give DS a bath/puts him to bed every night (except for two nights he works extra, I do it.) on DH's days off he wakes up with DS so I can get some sleep. He won't even listen when I tell him he needs some sleep too and that ill wake up with him one morning on his days off. He says "it's his way of putting in his part." & "I want time with him."
That's what a father does. You deserve a break, momma!

Jax 3 kids; Sydney, NS, Australia 2888 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting s00nt0be04:</b>" I was in the same situation. DH has a demanding job since there is only 2 managers (him and another guy) ... [snip!] ... so him and the other guy always have plan out who is coming in early or when who can take their vacations and what not. "</blockquote>



Yea SO hours are fucked. He does 7 mornings 3:30am to 2:30pm (the week we have most of our issues), then he has 4 days off. Then he does 7 nights 12:30pm to 11:30pm, then has 3 days off.

Jax 3 kids; Sydney, NS, Australia 2888 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" That's total crap. You need to tell him to step it up. DH works 10hr days and still give DS a bath/puts ... [snip!] ... says "it's his way of putting in his part." & "I want time with him." That's what a father does. You deserve a break, momma!"</blockquote>




Care to share your DH? Lol
SO when DS1 was a baby and before he started this job, used to bath him every night. That was their time to bond. Now im lucky if he gives any of the kids a bath. Tonight he had no choice but to bath LO, while I ran to the shop to buy a replacement dinner.

mommakatof3 Due September 15; 3 kids; 2 angel babies; DeRidder, Louisiana 477 posts
14th Mar '13

I feel ur pain. I think most ladies deal with the same stuff it sucks. They come home from work and they are free to do as they please well they think they are and should be able to. Moms job never ends. Good luck hope you have some good days soon

s00nt0be04 4 kids; Louisville, Kentucky 543 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting J&T+3:" <blockquote><b>Quoting s00nt0be04:</b>" I was in the same situation. DH has a demanding ... [snip!] ... (the week we have most of our issues), then he has 4 days off. Then he does 7 nights 12:30pm to 11:30pm, then has 3 days off."


DH had a job like that and still helped out on his days off and everything!

Kimber's Mommy 1 child; South Carolina 4272 posts
14th Mar '13

i don't understand this kind of stuff. WHY wouldn't ANYONE help you with LO at the dinner? when we have family dinners, my mom or dad usually takes DD so SO and i can eat. whoever has DD while everyone is eating is made a plate which is set aside before anyone else eats.



when SO gets home from work, he takes the dogs out and then helps with with whatever with DD. he's the one that gives her baths at night and puts her to bed while i cook dinner. i just... don't get it. i'm sorry this is your situation :(

s00nt0be04 4 kids; Louisville, Kentucky 543 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting Kimber's Mommy:" i don't understand this kind of stuff. WHY wouldn't ANYONE help you with LO at the dinner? when we have ... [snip!] ... gives her baths at night and puts her to bed while i cook dinner. i just... don't get it. i'm sorry this is your situation :("


Exactly, SIL and I don't always get along but when I had all of my other kids as infants she would help out and let me eat then she would eat but beforehand she'd make her plate.

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" That's total crap. You need to tell him to step ... [snip!] ... he gives any of the kids a bath. Tonight he had no choice but to bath LO, while I ran to the shop to buy a replacement dinner."</blockquote>




Yes I can share ;). For a fellow momma who needs a break! It was the opposite for us when DS was a baby. Not because he didn't want to help but I felt like I had to prove I was a good mom and super women so I did it all. DH didn't even have to change a diaper! Haha but he sat me down and was like "babe, you're stressed and trying to do it all. Let me help, that's what I'm here for. We made him together we will take care of him together. You need to let go a little and let me do more." I cried for like 30mins straight because it was just what I needed to here. I was so exhausted and never had a second to slow down since DS had been born. I can't imagine having to do it all with 3. You should tell him, "I might as well be a single mom at this rate. If I wanted to do it alone I would have went to a sperm bank."



Lol

Jax 3 kids; Sydney, NS, Australia 2888 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber's Mommy:</b>" i don't understand this kind of stuff. WHY wouldn't ANYONE help you with LO at the dinner? when we have ... [snip!] ... gives her baths at night and puts her to bed while i cook dinner. i just... don't get it. i'm sorry this is your situation :("</blockquote>




I honestly dont get it myself. Usually he would be happy to just lay somewhere, but because he was having a bad day, that wasnt the case. Like I dont care that I missed out on sitting at the table with everyone else, but they could've just set me a plate aside.

I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting J&T+3:" <blockquote><b>Quoting I Stab People:</b>" that sounds like my day, everyday, except ... [snip!] ... far too often, so id prob end up an alcoholic. Iv been a single mother before....only with 1 child, but I know how it feels"


1 would be a cake walk compared to 3 lol. i work full time too. it sucks. i literally drag myself from day to day :(

Jax 3 kids; Sydney, NS, Australia 2888 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... tell him, "I might as well be a single mom at this rate. If I wanted to do it alone I would have went to a sperm bank." Lol"</blockquote>




Ok, now your just making me jealous of your DH lol. I guess im kind of the same with trying to be super mum and do everything myself, but at the same time, its not like I really have a choice.
Iv tried talking to him on a number of occasions, but it just doesn't seem to sink in. The last time was just last Friday, when he went out with his mates. I had a bitch on here about that too lol.



I seem to bitch about a lot lately, and I dont like it

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" ... [snip!] ... he went out with his mates. I had a bitch on here about that too lol. I seem to bitch about a lot lately, and I dont like it"</blockquote>




How long have you guys been together? Has it been like this for a while or just recently? Is there anything that changed that might be why he's being lazy at home?

Jax 3 kids; Sydney, NS, Australia 2888 posts
14th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... Has it been like this for a while or just recently? Is there anything that changed that might be why he's being lazy at home?"</blockquote>




We have been together 5 years this may. And are supposed to be getting married in 2015.
Hes really just started being like this since he got this new job....almost 2 years ago. I guess Iv just noticed it more going from 2 kids to 3. We do have good days, it just seems like the bad ones are taking over the good.
Our main problem I think is the fact that hes not a talker. So if we do have a prob, il talk about it, he will sleep it off, wake up like everything is fine, while I keep it boiling away at me coz the issue never gets resolved.

Jax 3 kids; Sydney, NS, Australia 2888 posts
14th Mar '13

Thanks for listening to me vent my frustrations out last night ladies :)
We shall see what today brings