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Thoughts? Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
14th Mar '13

My friend's 21 month old sleeps in his own room, in a toddler bed. Recently he has learned how to open all of the doors in the house. She uses a baby monitor so she can hear him, but one morning she still woke up to him playing in the toilet, so she started locking his door at night before she goes to bed. (the lock is on the outside of the door) What are your thoughts on this? To me it isnt that big of a deal, but I was talking to another friend of mine and she thought it was really messed up. Thoughts?

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
14th Mar '13

I would never lock my child in a room, that's pretty messed up.

NICKEL☮POLIS 2 kids; Ontario 6268 posts
14th Mar '13

Instead of locking his door I would lock all of the other ones in the house and put anything dangerous that he can get into behind locked doors. I don't think it's terribly awful to lock his door when he's in there but I wouldn't do it.

☮[The Mrs.] FJB Due December 4; 3 kids; North Carolina 14335 posts
14th Mar '13

I would child proof the other doors instead of locking DS in

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
14th Mar '13

It is a big deal. It's actually a form of child abuse and the person doing it can get in a lot of trouble.

Lucky_me Due June 7; 18 kids; Mattoon, Illinois 1107 posts
14th Mar '13

child abuse.. really??!? Come on she is trying to prevent her child from getting into other harm. Which if he is up walking about the house alone who knows what he can get into. I know i wouldnt lock the door myself but i also dont have wondering children at night!

Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting PurpleBama582:" It is a big deal. It's actually a form of child abuse and the person doing it can get in a lot of trouble. "


It isnt like she is locking him in there to punish, or hurt him though, and she only does it at night while he is sleeping. She gets up with him every morning. I have known her since I was 3. She would never abuse her child. I agree she needs to find something else, but for me it is more because what if there was a fire or something, and she needed to get to him quick and the door is locked?

Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting ☮[The Mrs.].
PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting Lucky_me:" child abuse.. really??!? Come on she is trying to prevent her child from getting into other harm. Which ... [snip!] ... alone who knows what he can get into. I know i wouldnt lock the door myself but i also dont have wondering children at night!"


It is, it falls under neglect. CPS isn't going to look at the INTENT, only the ACTION. What happens if there's a fire and the child can't get out?

Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting PurpleBama582:" It is, it falls under neglect. CPS isn't going to look at the INTENT, only the ACTION. What happens if there's a fire and the child can't get out? "


Thats what I just said :? I guess it is a good thing no one is going to call CPS on her then, and even if they did, nothing would come of it. CPS doesnt look at one small thing, and take a child away. Also they will look into the intent. It is one thing if someone does something because they are ignorant, or make a bad decision, and another to purposly hurt or neglect your child. It is like that case a while back where a mom left her baby in the tub to check facebook, and her baby drowned. Was she stupid? Yes. Did CPS do anything? No. It was a shitty and horrible mistake.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting Soon 2B Mom of 2:" Thats what I just said :? I guess it is a good thing no one is going to call CPS on her then, and even ... [snip!] ... where a mom left her baby in the tub to check facebook, and her baby drowned. Was she stupid? Yes. Did CPS do anything? No."


I didn't say they would take the child away for that. Locking a child in a room is not a "small" thing. Locking a child in a room is done on purpose, and it is a bad decision.



Your point about the mom checking facebook and her child drowned is a different case. At that point, except for charging her with negligent homicide(which is the DA's call), it was out of the hands of CPS. Look, I am speaking from experience. I did lock my child in a room once, many years ago. I was told that it IS neglect, no matter WHY it's done.

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
14th Mar '13

It's dangerous, she should invest in a baby gate for his door.

Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting ღFrodoliciousღ:" Hey, yeah. Why hasn't she gotten a sturdy baby gate for the door?? "


He climbs them. I told her to try one that just has up and down bars. I'm gonna go take her one tonight after DS gets off work to see if that helps.

Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting PurpleBama582:" I didn't say they would take the child away for that. Locking a child in a room is not a "small" thing. ... [snip!] ... from experience. I did lock my child in a room once, many years ago. I was told that it IS neglect, no matter WHY it's done. "


Sorry I got defensive, I thought you were implying that she is abusing her child through neglect, when she really is a good mom. She would never deliberately do anything to hurt her son. I agree she needs to find something else because it is dangerous, but she definately isn't abusive. I'm gonna take her one of our tall baby gates that have bars that go up and down tonight, so hopefully that solves the problem.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
14th Mar '13
Quoting Soon 2B Mom of 2:" Sorry I got snappish, I thought you were implying that she is abusing her child through neglect, ... [snip!] ... I'm gonna take her one of our tall baby gates that have bars that go up and down tonight, so hopefully that solves the problem."


No, I wasn't trying to imply she's abusing her child. She does need to be aware that if someone DOES call about it what could be said. Another thing that might help is mounting the gate a little higher...not so high the child could craw under it, but high enough that going over it is too hard. and spray the bars with pam so toes slide down and can't grip the wood(or whatever material the gate is made of).