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Boobo&bugs 2 kids; Simpsonville, South Carolina 7699 posts
status 16th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Excited for mommyhood!:</b>" I have a car but my point is that they say things like that just to be rude like act is if because I ... [snip!] ... shit prepared for my kid an my parents like to give gifts that we are stuck up, why should I feel bad for having money ya kno ?"</blockquote>




Oh! I misunderstood you. My in laws constantly pick on dh and my parents. My dad is very successful. Dh got a masters. They pick on him for it all the time. They choose not to see dd or even send her a card for Christmas. I brush or off. Her not knowing them and their son refusing to have anything to do with them is their fault noone else's. they are toxic for all of us. We actually just don't invite them to see us or bother to see them anymore. Don't let them get to you!

ღ.ღ.ღ 3 kids; South Carolina 7316 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting Excited for mommyhood!:" not relying on it we have all the main stuff but im talking as far as just being nice like hey I bought ... [snip!] ... it. I guess I always thought that's what you do for a grandkid you get excited an want to give gifst even something homemade!"


Then you have a weird way of thinking, YOU made the kid they didn't. They can be excited and not buy you shit. My husbands mom was excited for our youngest but didn't buy shit, i didn't give a damn because we bought everything that was needed and didn't expect or think it'd be "nice" to have someone buy us diapers or something like that.

Excited for mommyhood! Due June 13; Bakersfield, California 54 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting Mrs. Sherwood:" I think you're overreacting. My parents are millionaires (my Dad has his own very successful Law Firm) ... [snip!] ... expect anything from them either. DH makes plenty of money to support us and we're proud to be independent of our parents."


we have what we need for the baby of course its our baby they didn't get me pregnant but not even coming down to buying something I guess but like even making something or handme downs or even a congratulations, Im probably just being emotional an overreacting like you said, but idk I guess I just think if your gonna bend over backwards to do tons of shit for other grandkids an not any one elses that's being unfair to the other grandbabies not even my kid but they have like 9 in total an only care about or choose to watch or even acknowlegde two of them.

Mrs.Sherwood ☮ 28 Weeks Due January 12 (girl); Mesa, AZ, United States 4358 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting Excited for mommyhood!:" we have what we need for the baby of course its our baby they didn't get me pregnant but not even coming ... [snip!] ... not even my kid but they have like 9 in total an only care about or choose to watch or even acknowlegde two of them."


Honest question - is it possible that you're just seeing what you want to see? I mean, if they have 9 grandchildren, and only favor two of them, clearly it's not you, it's them. Still, they aren't required to buy anything to show excitement. Try to be happy about your pregnancy, and not let others upset you because of what they do/don't do for you or your kids.

Excited for mommyhood! Due June 13; Bakersfield, California 54 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting kate & tilly:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Excited for mommyhood!:</b>" I have a car but my point is that ... [snip!] ... are toxic for all of us. We actually just don't invite them to see us or bother to see them anymore. Don't let them get to you!"

wow that's the stuff I'm talking about, not sending her cards even? that's the type of rude acts they do buy two grandkids presents and don't even call or invite the other grandkids. I guess its just something I'm gonna have to learn to do is brush it off like you said an grow a thick skin to it!

Excited for mommyhood! Due June 13; Bakersfield, California 54 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting Mrs. Sherwood:" Honest question - is it possible that you're just seeing what you want to see? I mean, if they have ... [snip!] ... Try to be happy about your pregnancy, and not let others upset you because of what they do/don't do for you or your kids."


that's a very real possibility I just had my hopes up an to see them not show interest hurt ,buuut I'm gonna have to let it just role off my shoulders because your right if only two out of 9 get love then chances are it is them. that is good advice thank you (:

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44071 posts
16th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Excited for mommyhood!:</b>" that's very true I guess I'm just worried about them trying to say its meewho thinks we are too good ... [snip!] ... for our kid to be around them an flip it but ill try to take your advice an not worry about that its THEIR loss like you said(:"</blockquote>



It's hard for me because dd is getting to the age where she notices the way she is treated and how the boys are treated. She knows they live there. And then she knows she doesn't get equal gifts and such. I try to just be positive but she can see the difference. I don't care if they get her anything, she doesn't need it. It's just the point that she's starting to notice. That's what hurts me the most. It was much easier when we stopped talking to them for 3 yrs. now it's like hurting us all over again. They're always helping SOs brother to move back and forth from tn to MI and back. But they know dd is saving like crazy to take a tn trip and even my parents are helping er raise money. They save all their spare change for her and have a piggie bank at their house for her. But do you see them helpin her? No. And she's be coming down and be able to see them. But nope the boys are more important.

Fatty McRunnerPants 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Clearlake, California 59390 posts
16th Mar '13

I just feel a gift is just that, a gift. It shouldn't be expected. I honestly DON'T feel each grandchild should be treated the same. Because they're not the same. Each family structure within the extended family is different. My mom has 7 grandkids. Two are my children, 3 are my older sisters, 2 are my younger sisters. The 2 of my youngest sisters children are in a bad way. My mom helps them the most because they need it the most. She hardly helps me at all because she knows I got this shit locked down. I don't begrudge her helping the other grandkids more. Doesn't mean she loves my children less. That'd be so superficial to think that way.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44071 posts
16th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Excited for mommyhood!:</b>" that's a very real possibility I just had my hopes up an to see them not show interest hurt ,buuut I'm ... [snip!] ... off my shoulders because your right if only two out of 9 get love then chances are it is them. that is good advice thank you (:"</blockquote>



I'm a sensitive person so I thjnk that's why it bothers me. I don't expect anything at all. It's just the point of it all. And plus how they are always hurting us instead of ever being helpful. Idk I was just raised in a family where you help each other no questions asked. And my parents are good at seeing a need and just helping without being asked (i wouldnt ask unless it was emergency). But they arent those type of people so i guess it takes some getting used to. But idk different family values I suppose.

Mrs.Sherwood ☮ 28 Weeks Due January 12 (girl); Mesa, AZ, United States 4358 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting Excited for mommyhood!:" that's a very real possibility I just had my hopes up an to see them not show interest hurt ,buuut I'm ... [snip!] ... off my shoulders because your right if only two out of 9 get love then chances are it is them. that is good advice thank you (:"


No problem, good luck! :)

Excited for mommyhood! Due June 13; Bakersfield, California 54 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting ღ.ღ.ღ:" Then you have a weird way of thinking, YOU made the kid they didn't. They can be excited and not buy ... [snip!] ... everything that was needed and didn't expect or think it'd be "nice" to have someone buy us diapers or something like that."


so if they were completely siked for your brothers grandkid an didn't show any interest in yours: all gifts/presents/money aside, an constantly made rude comments about you an the unborn kid that means they are still excited? hmm I find that really hard to believe. we have everything we could need as well but to me yeah I guess im weird. I buy my friends who are expecting things, make them things check up on them touch their bellys it DOES NOT MATTER about buying stuff or money at all just to show interest regardless if we don't need anything. but my own babys grandparents cant even bother to ask how im feeling or care about how the baby is developing when they are so involved in two of the others lives and do whatever they can to express that. yeah I am weird then because I thought a normal person would have a problem with getting left out from the grandparents love, I don't want my kid to be treated any differently an dont think that because they choose not to show interest that that gives them A RIGHT to talk shit about my family OR my baby.

Excited for mommyhood! Due June 13; Bakersfield, California 54 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting ღ.ღ.ღ:" Then you have a weird way of thinking, YOU made the kid they didn't. They can be excited and not buy ... [snip!] ... everything that was needed and didn't expect or think it'd be "nice" to have someone buy us diapers or something like that."


and altho she didn't buy things for your youngest did she ever say rude things to you or about the baby? an do you feel like just because the babys not there yet its okay? their entitled to your opinion but honestly now do you think telling a pregnant girl mean things is acceptable. yeah maybe im being a baby but did she ever call how you were doing or check up on you. not to mention we are letting his mom an dad live with us currently- not that that means they are obligated to be nice but if someones having a baby I thought showing interest an not brushing it off was a "nice" thing to do.

Fatty McRunnerPants 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Clearlake, California 59390 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting Excited for mommyhood!:" and altho she didn't buy things for your youngest did she ever say rude things to you or about the baby? ... [snip!] ... obligated to be nice but if someones having a baby I thought showing interest an not brushing it off was a "nice" thing to do."


Maybe they just don't like you. And if that's the case you should ask them why.

ღ.ღ.ღ 3 kids; South Carolina 7316 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting Excited for mommyhood!:" so if they were completely siked for your brothers grandkid an didn't show any interest in yours: all ... [snip!] ... dont think that because they choose not to show interest that that gives them A RIGHT to talk shit about my family OR my baby."


Maybe they don't like you, maybe they don't care about your pregnancy or the new grandbaby. If that's the case forget about them, you don't HAVE to be involved with them and vice versa, DH's mom is the same way. Acts all excited to see the kids but the last time we saw her was at Christmas, she'll buy my kids shit here and there but i don't expect it that's just the type of person she is, it just doesn't bother me because she cares more about herself. You may do that stuff but it doesn't mean they have to, or even show interest in your pregnancy. Like i said maybe they don't like you or care. Is it rude to talk about you, yeah but you can ignore it easy as that.

Excited for mommyhood! Due June 13; Bakersfield, California 54 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting ღ.ღ.ღ:" Maybe they don't like you, maybe they don't care about your pregnancy or the new grandbaby. If that's ... [snip!] ... Like i said maybe they don't like you or care. Is it rude to talk about you, yeah but you can ignore it easy as that."

it doesn't mean anything to your husband if you an her get along? I wouldn't care but it means so much to him an it hurts but yea I guess I gotta ignore it