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He didn't come home last night. Sofie+#2 Due March 10; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7383 posts
16th Mar '13

SO works until 11pm most nights (chef) and sometimes has a drink at the bar after work, so when it got to 12 I wasn't too worried but still pissed he hadn't contacted me. Then it got to 1:30, then 3, then 4 when I fell asleep, and I woke up at 6 and he still wasn't home :( his phone is off or has no service and work aren't picking up the phone because its only 8:30 (he could have stayed on their couch, we've been in a bad place lately).
I'm scared he could have cheated.
I'm pissed he didn't at least call to tell me he needed a break and was going to stay elsewhere.
I'm pissed that he's left me to explain to our 2.5 year old why daddy wasn't there when she woke up.
I'm tired of jumping up every time I hear an engine noise outside even though I know it's not him.



Part of me wants to just pack his bag and tell him if he doesn't want to stay he doesn't have to, for him to take some time away.

♥Daenerys 2 kids; 2 angel babies; California 8166 posts
16th Mar '13

I'm sorry, that would be extremely hard. Obviously you guys definitely need to talk about it, I don't think that's ok at all.



Although, I kind of went through the same thing tonight. SO kept saying he would be leaving his co-workers house 'soon' which started at 8pm... he didn't bother coming home until a few minutes ago. It's almost 2am. And when he got home, he tried to sneak in and be all quiet... like I wouldn't notice he came home so late. Idiot thinks I'm in the bedroom sleeping... yeah, ok. I'm just gonna go to bed when you're hanging out with your co-worker who's a total hoe and slept with every guy there pretty much...



Ugh sorry had to vent. :cry:

✰ Mrs. B ✰ 2 kids; Texas 2640 posts
16th Mar '13

I'm so sorry you guys are going through a rough patch. I know having to explain things to your LO is the most difficult & painful part. It'd be nice if he could at least give you a heads up like you mentioned, so you can let LO know ahead of time when he won't be there, that's the least he could do for her sake.

Mrs.O! 18 kids; your moms ass, HI, United States 21401 posts
16th Mar '13

that's shitty! if he's committed to you he should at least be able to let you know instead of letting you worry.

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
16th Mar '13

Have you called hospitals or the jail?

Sofie+#2 Due March 10; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7383 posts
16th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥Daenerys:</b>" I'm sorry, that would be extremely hard. Obviously you guys definitely need to talk about it, I don't ... [snip!] ... hanging out with your co-worker who's a total hoe and slept with every guy there pretty much... Ugh sorry had to vent. :cry:"</blockquote>




Don't be sorry lmao! Yeah, we've had a lot of times like that, where he hasn't told me until pretty late that he's going to be late... Then comes home REALLY late. The record has been 7am without him going to sleep at someone's house. That time he said he'd be home at 3.



I think he knows exactly what he's doing, I think he's doing it to hurt me. Like, I really really understand that he might need to have a night off from me because things have been really bad, I'm just upset that he has do little respect for me and consideration to not even tell me that he'll be away. All I need is a call or a text saying 'I just need to clear my head, don't worry about me'.

♥Daenerys 2 kids; 2 angel babies; California 8166 posts
16th Mar '13
Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥Daenerys:</b>" I'm sorry, that would be extremely hard. ... [snip!] ... even tell me that he'll be away. All I need is a call or a text saying 'I just need to clear my head, don't worry about me'."


That's why I think it's so messed up, he doesn't have the decency to let you know he won't be coming home that night? That's so shitty, because I'm sure like any wife/girlfriend all you did was wonder and worry. Not ok for him to do that!



But as I said, I don't have much room to talk... unfortunately...

Sofie+#2 Due March 10; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7383 posts
16th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:</b>" Have you called hospitals or the jail?"</blockquote>




No. Jail is highly unlikely because I'm almost 90% positive he'll be at work because he didn't take a change of clothes with him yesterday. Hospitals a possibility as he rides a scooter at night and may well have had a drink, but they'd have called his parents by now.

Sofie+#2 Due March 10; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7383 posts
16th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥Daenerys:</b>" That's why I think it's so messed up, he doesn't have the decency to let you know he won't be coming ... [snip!] ... you did was wonder and worry. Not ok for him to do that! But as I said, I don't have much room to talk... unfortunately..."</blockquote>




I even started writing a note and it turned into a love letter lmao, I left it his side of the bed so my mom wouldn't find it downstairs in the morning, and in the middle of the night I woke up and it was gone so I rushed down to see if he had slept on the couch and he wasn't there :( the note just fell onto the floor and went under the bed.



He's never not come home all night without telling me he's going to first. I've not liked it when he's done it, but at least I know where he was :(

Sofie+#2 Due March 10; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7383 posts
16th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ✰ Mrs. B ✰:</b>" I'm so sorry you guys are going through a rough patch. I know having to explain things to your LO is ... [snip!] ... up like you mentioned, so you can let LO know ahead of time when he won't be there, that's the least he could do for her sake."</blockquote>




Thanks. I know, he works so much she just thinks he's at work now. It's not like I have a better explanation, I don't wanna be like, actually, daddy's fucked off somewhere and we don't know where he is! I don't think he gets that him spiting me like this has an impact on her too.

regina_margot 2 kids; New York, New York 1543 posts
16th Mar '13

the biggest best favor you can do yourself right now is pretend this never happened.
sounds like a lapse.
don't start a scene/
let him sleep it off
THEN, afterwards, maybe review all you mutual expectations in a relationship.
but meanwhile, don't make a scense

Sofie+#2 Due March 10; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7383 posts
16th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting regina_margot:</b>" the biggest best favor you can do yourself right now is pretend this never happened. sounds like a lapse. ... [snip!] ... sleep it off THEN, afterwards, maybe review all you mutual expectations in a relationship. but meanwhile, don't make a scense"</blockquote>




Yeah, my usual reaction would be to be really pissy and stomps when he gets home, but I'm considering being really nice to throw him off hahaha.

Sofie+#2 Due March 10; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7383 posts
16th Mar '13

I'm also gonna add, what the hell is the likelihood that there isn't a single iPhone charger in the flat above his work? Like 5 people live there, I thought everyone had iPhones these days.

Sofie+#2 Due March 10; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7383 posts
16th Mar '13

Still nothing and his shift starts in 15 minutes. My friend who used to work there gave me his boss's cell, I sent her a text but nothing.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5359 posts
status 16th Mar '13

It's after 11am now and you still haven't heard from him? :? Is there not a main phone line at his work you can call at this time? I'd be really worried if DH done that :?