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Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes. -- Votes: 18
    • No. -- Votes: 118
    • Other (Explain.) -- Votes: 7
Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
18th Mar '13
Quoting Elle With Three &1/2:" I have a VERY blended family. My Dad had kids before I was born, My Mom had kids after I was born, I ... [snip!] ... are only half genetically related? Or would you just magically be ok with his wrong doings if you had BOTH the same parents?"


But the thing is this: We both had different mothers and never grew up together, like many half-siblings. So even before his convictions, we were never close. I was raised in middle class, mid-west white America, where it is frowned upon to have children with multiple people.



Now, I don't look down at people who do have children with multiple people, but what I do notice is that when a woman has multiple fathers for her children, there is usually a lack of stability (not including widows). Even though my parents are no longer together, my mom has been able to give all three of her children a stable life. Instead of bringing another man into the picture and having more children (although she is a little old at this point), she has focused on her family and career, and I thank her for that. Too many women are so quick to have children with guys who aren't in it for the long haul, but if you are going to have kids with a loser, it is better for it to be one instead of three (like my grandmother).



But even when there is stability, the family dynamics can change and not for the better. For example, her sister, on the other hand, had three children from two husbands. First husband was abusive and I'm glad she left him. She met a nice guy and had two more children with him. Her oldest, my cousin, has always felt left out and is super jealous of her younger siblings. She has distanced herself from the family completely and holds resentment.



It would kill me to have an older child of mine be hateful of their younger siblings and feel like he/she didn't "belong" to the "new" family.



So I guess, it isn't so much the shame as it is the change in family dynamics that gets me.

JohnSilverSmith TTC since Dec 2011; 3 kids; Groton, Connecticut 465 posts
18th Mar '13

Yes, that is my current situation.

JohnSilverSmith TTC since Dec 2011; 3 kids; Groton, Connecticut 465 posts
18th Mar '13

My previous response was in reference to the original question.

Simply, Mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Upland, 11670 posts
18th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ღFrodoliciousღ:</b>" No, this thread was originally about if having a child with someone is a basis for staying with them. ... [snip!] ... with them. Not about if the male in question is abusive or not. The OP could have meant if you fell out of love, or anything. "</blockquote>




yes but then in pages there after it was explained. PS I like the AVI. I forget the old one but wasnt it a soldier ?

Simply, Mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Upland, 11670 posts
18th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ღFrodoliciousღ:</b>" No, this thread was originally about if having a child with someone is a basis for staying with them. ... [snip!] ... with them. Not about if the male in question is abusive or not. The OP could have meant if you fell out of love, or anything. "</blockquote>




the pages after brought it to that though. And even without the abuse I still do not see the sense in using someone for more chikdren just so all my children have the same last name lol

user banned Due January 18; fdkafh, MA, United States 361 posts
22nd Mar '13
Quoting ♡Noah&Kathleen :):" I'm just curious. Would you stay with your SO just because you had a baby together? Post and run! :)"


NO!!! I am still with my son's father but he is great and takes care of his,.. if he wasn't the way he is with us then yeah I would be outty 5000.

H&J Mom 2 kids; Chicago, Illinois 339 posts
22nd Mar '13

Im in that boat im staying with him i do love him but its a different love i think...
he treats us very good but idk i feel like we have nothing in common anymore

orchidlovingmama 2 kids; Santa Rosa, California 1733 posts
22nd Mar '13

No. I would never put up with emotional or phyical abuse nd put my baby through hell like that. I left my first babies father and would do it again if I had to but uckily I found a real man this time and u you can too! Just have to stand up for urself girl, be strong dont let anyone take your happiness. NO ONE!

rpgmomma8404 1 child; St Ann, Missouri 7591 posts
23rd Mar '13

No, I wasted 12 years doing it and trying to make it work. Just seems like the same thing happens over and over again. We are in the endless loop that just seems to be hard to break out of.

NICKEL☮POLIS 2 kids; Ontario 6263 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting ♡Noah&Kathleen :):" I'm just curious. Would you stay with your SO just because you had a baby together? Post and run! :)"


No.
But having DD makes me try harder with SO. If I didn't love him with my whole heart, I couldn't stay no matter what.
You only live once.. shouldn't spend it being miserable.