Reply
user banned 1 child; 1 angel baby; Japan 930 posts
19th Mar '13

I have PPD in the form of anxiety and finally got on medicine for it. I guess she could have PPD and cope by letting her mom take care of the baby for her. My PPD is different I worry about LO constantly and find myself having reoccuring nightmares about her being kidnapped by my ex fiance and his psychotic abusive girlfriend. I constantly worry and invision all the bad things that could happen to her. I guess maybe that is why I can't fathom leaving my LO that soon especially just to go out and drink. I hate leaving my LO. I still havent left her with anyone other than my parents just so I can go grocery shopping. For the longest time I refused to take my LO into stores bc of flu season and RSV going around and the constant news stories about babies dying from RSV and the flu. I clorox wiped everything and wouldn't let anyone who didn't have their flu shot hold her. Now I am a tad more relaxed I let my friends hold her without making sure they've had their vaccines and I take her into stores I just refuse to put her in a cart so I carry her in a wrap or push her in her stroller.

user banned 1 child; 1 angel baby; Japan 930 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting ღ Heidi ღ:" I think some of you need to realize that this is indeed debate & discuss so as called for as it is to ... [snip!] ... is a bit hypocritical if we all minded our own business there wouldn't be shit to talk about in debate & discuss. Dumbasses..."

Haha I like you! For the record I realize I am judgemental at times that is why I put this in D&D something that seems horrible in my eyes might seem acceptable in the eyes of others. People have brought to my attention some things I didn't think about. But you're right some of them didn't need to be so angry and rude in their responses towards me.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Fatty McRunnerPants:</b>" This is debate and discuss. Asking you to justify your opinion isn't out of the ordinary here :lol: ... [snip!] ... it would have been nice to know that that support was around and that I hadn't lost myself in the mix of having a sick baby."</blockquote>




I am quite aware of what D&D is. I did justify my opinion, I only added the last statement because I didn't want to go round and round in circles with me saying that's how I feel and you telling me I'm wrong to feel that way.



Plus, like it or not, the pressure is on new parents and all parents. You don't create a life for someone else to care for and raise. I understand that everyone still deserves a life, but IMO when you choose to have a child, your life now revolves around them and their needs above your own & a one week old needs it's mother.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ღ Heidi ღ:</b>" I think some of you need to realize that this is indeed debate & discuss so as called for as it is to ... [snip!] ... is a bit hypocritical if we all minded our own business there wouldn't be shit to talk about in debate & discuss. Dumbasses..."</blockquote>




:lol:

The Icebox {MBRD} 17 kids; New Mexico 18558 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting Fatty McRunnerPants:" This is debate and discuss. Asking you to justify your opinion isn't out of the ordinary here :lol: ... [snip!] ... it would have been nice to know that that support was around and that I hadn't lost myself in the mix of having a sick baby."


I completely agree.

user banned 1 child; 1 angel baby; Japan 930 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting -()-()-()-:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Fatty McRunnerPants:</b>" This is debate and discuss. Asking ... [snip!] ... choose to have a child, your life now revolves around them and their needs above your own & a one week old needs it's mother."

Exactly what I was thinking. Being a good mother IMO is all about making sacrifices for your child. I can name hundreds of sacrifices i've made in order to be able to give my daughter the life and the love and attention that she deserves. You can't be extremely selfish once you become a parent and expect to be viewed as a good parent. Also IMO even the worst most abusive parent thinks they are a great parent. Everyone wants to believe they are a good parent even if in reality they aren't.

The Icebox {MBRD} 17 kids; New Mexico 18558 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting Leilani Allyssa's Mommy:" Exaxctly what I was thinking. Being a good mother IMO is all about making sacrifices for your child. ... [snip!] ... abusive parent thinks they are a great parent. Everyone wants to believe they are a good parent even if in reality they aren't."


Going out a couple times doesn't make you a bad parent. End of story.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
19th Mar '13

I'm a lovingly, negligent mother.



I'm also extremely selfish.



I've learned how to balance mom, wife, and me. I've learned how to separate all of them and my life is the better for it.

Destinite TTC since May 2011; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Florida 30820 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting The Icebox {MBRD}:" Going out a couple times doesn't make you a bad parent. End of story."

I think it is hilarious that some people believe this.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
19th Mar '13

I get away as frequently as I can. :lol:



Kids drive me psycho. :x:x

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting The Icebox {MBRD}:" Going out a couple times doesn't make you a bad parent. End of story."


Nobody in here said it did, to my knowledge.

Fatty McRunnerPants 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Clearlake, California 59159 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting ღ Heidi ღ:" I think some of you need to realize that this is indeed debate & discuss so as called for as it is to ... [snip!] ... is a bit hypocritical if we all minded our own business there wouldn't be shit to talk about in debate & discuss. Dumbasses..."



Sorry but no dice. The OP phrased the question as a judgmental b***h. If she had phrased the discussion as "Do you think it's too soon to go out when you have a one week old", as in something GENERAL, no one would have been SPECIFIC in saying "Mind your own f**king business" KWIM?



Let me enlighten you sweetcheeks, D and D was not designed for people to hop on their high horse and debate and discuss the merits of particular people, gossip, and talk shit. That's what TDC is for. D and D was designed to discuss general topic and broad ideas in an intelligent manner. Not shit talk and slam other parents.

Fatty McRunnerPants 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Clearlake, California 59159 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting -()-()-()-:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Fatty McRunnerPants:</b>" This is debate and discuss. Asking ... [snip!] ... choose to have a child, your life now revolves around them and their needs above your own & a one week old needs it's mother."


I didn't see you justify your opinion with anything but circular reasoning. IE. "I feel this way because I feel this way". Not "I feel this way because studies show...." or "I feel this way because I believe it facilitates...."



Of course your life revolves around your child when you have one. But taking care of yourself is also taking care of your child. You don't take care of yourself, your children will suffer. Happy and fullfilled parents with interestes/ activities outside of their children provide a more balanced approach to parenting. I feel this way because I suffered from severe PPD after I had my son and struggled with it after I had my daughter. I felt as though I lost myself in becoming mommy. Had someone told me back then, shook me maybe and said "Dude, your kids aren't the center of the universe, take care of yourself as well" I think that I would have done better with it.

Fatty McRunnerPants 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Clearlake, California 59159 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting Leilani Allyssa's Mommy:" Exactly what I was thinking. Being a good mother IMO is all about making sacrifices for your child. I ... [snip!] ... abusive parent thinks they are a great parent. Everyone wants to believe they are a good parent even if in reality they aren't."


Being a parent is not all about making sacrafices. Being a parent is about raising a well balanced child. It's important for children to realize they are NOT the center of the universe and that mommy/daddy/little sister have needs and wants as well. Whether your child realizes it or not delayed gratification is good for them.

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
19th Mar '13

I love bar hopping.