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Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" I'm not sure what you're going for here. Of course I wouldn't call a mentally handicapped person stupid. "</blockquote>



Right so using the word "stupid" and using the word "gay" aren't the same thing.

Mamakye_ Due October 19; 1 child; Australia 919 posts
19th Mar '13

I use the term a lot when I was younger, without really thinking about what I was saying.
Then it dawned on me that it wasn't fair to use the term gay in a derogatory way, especially given that I have absolutely no issues with homosexuality.
An old school friend, who recently came out, had a big b***h on fb about how offensive she finds it etc.
I felt really bad and ignorant. I would never say anything racist or against someones religion so why would i (inadvertently) bash someone's sexuality. I still sometimes say it out of habit but I am trying to think before I speak (about everything, I have a big mouth!) I hope to break the habit soon.

kthx. TTC since Nov 2012; Cleves, Ohio 65266 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting Mama Lizzy :]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" I'm not sure what you're going for here. Of course ... [snip!] ... person stupid. "</blockquote> Right so using the word "stupid" and using the word "gay" aren't the same thing."


Gay isn't offensive, though. Gay (when used as 'that's gay') has transformed it's meaning.

ρiηkie ρie 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Kentucky 21902 posts
19th Mar '13

I like to think of it like this: Gay means happy. If you're saying, "that's gay" and you mean that it's stupid, stupidity is akin to ignorance and they say ignorance is bliss. So therefore you're saying that it's happy.

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" It being comparable. Because homosexuality= gay, and what you're saying is having a mental disability=stupid ... [snip!] ... thing) Cos "gay" was given a new definition by the people using it. They weren't calling everything homosexual, ha. "</blockquote>



Are you meaning like its original definition like happy?



Its a good point

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" Gay isn't offensive, though. Gay (when used as 'that's gay') has transformed it's meaning. "</blockquote>



I realize it isn't out right offensive ( well at least for me and my homosexual father anyway)....I'm just thinking about the impact it might have subconsciously I guess.

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mamakye_:</b>" I use the term a lot when I was younger, without really thinking about what I was saying. Then it dawned ... [snip!] ... it out of habit but I am trying to think before I speak (about everything, I have a big mouth!) I hope to break the habit soon."</blockquote>




Honestly I think they have every right to find it offensive.



How long have people been using this slang to describe something "silly" or "wrong"?

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kate & tilly:</b>" I just thought about this last night. My brother once said gay at a family gathering. He meant it in ... [snip!] ... with people using it as an insult. There are so many better words out there to insult someone with or to describe things."</blockquote>



I missed this :). Yeah I don't see any issues with using it in its original definition.
Its not used negatively at all

{tamz} Due September 2; 1 child; Maryland 2518 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama Lizzy :]:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mamakye_:</b>" I use the term a lot when I was younger, without ... [snip!] ... have every right to find it offensive. How long have people been using this slang to describe something "silly" or "wrong"?"</blockquote>




I think its become a term used to insult something or someone while still having undertones of meaning homosexuality. I think accepting that term, even in a joking way, makes it seem acceptable to look down on gay people, subconsciously at least.



I don't think its become a term that stands on its own to mean silly or wrong. take the word dumb for example. Its come to stand on its own as meaning stupid, when in fact the first few definitions in the dictionary still refer to being mute. Its not even a term really used in that way anymore. Gay has not become like that.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26153 posts
status 19th Mar '13
Quoting Mama Lizzy :]:" I used to think that saying "That's gay" when referring to something silly or wrong was NOT offensive. ... [snip!] ... mean what if it was popular to say "That's so white" or "That's so black" kwim ? Do you think its comparable why or why not?"


I really do have an issue with "that's gay" and "that's retarded." I do call people out on it nicely, and I used to say it myself.



I had a lovely lovely gay friend that I LOVED. One day in high school I said "That's so f**king gay." And he stopped and said "You love me, right?" and I said "Of course." He said "Well then please don't say that. Because you are implying that a bad situation is gay, and I know you don't think being gay is bad. It hurts people." I never said it after.



I also worked with the severely handicapped and I REALLY do get upset at "that's retarded." I just don't like it in the contexts meaning that it's a bad situation or the like.

THE Draco Malfoy 1 child; Tennessee 19885 posts
19th Mar '13
Quoting FroggysMommy:" I really do have an issue with "that's gay" and "that's retarded." I do call people out on it nicely, ... [snip!] ... I REALLY do get upset at "that's retarded." I just don't like it in the contexts meaning that it's a bad situation or the like."

When i say "that's retarded" it's usually that it slipped out. the only reason i watch who i say it around is some could misinterpret how i mean it (seeing as how it can be viewed different ways). I don't see a problem with saying it because i would NEVER refer to a mentally handicapped person as retarded. i was raised it's not a nice word to call people. that it was insinuated as derogatory. most of the time i use it in place of something being dumb.

624582 Neilton, Washington 9312 posts
19th Mar '13

My husband says "That's gay" a lot and I get on him for it. DS is 3, he repeats everything and "That's gay" isn't something I want him to be throwing around. I'm guilty of saying "That's retarded", but the same applies so I try to say "That's silly" or find other, more appropriate words to express myself.

The Bear and The Bird 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42577 posts
19th Mar '13

I'm in a relationship with a woman and i use the term. I can see why someone would have a problem with it and I'd refrain from saying it if they expressed that, but I really don't think it's a huge deal.

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting FroggysMommy:</b>" I really do have an issue with "that's gay" and "that's retarded." I do call people out on it nicely, ... [snip!] ... I REALLY do get upset at "that's retarded." I just don't like it in the contexts meaning that it's a bad situation or the like."</blockquote>



Honestly I think its bad ass that you respectively call people out on it.



My Dad is gay ( least never admitted to) and never took offense to when I would use the slang as "that's silly/wrong" but I mean what if deep down he did?



He grew up in an extremely small all white Baptist gay hating town.....he tried so hard to change himself and has gone through so much slowly becoming more open about it and living his life without feeling persecuted by family/ friends. What if deep down tho my slang brought back a memory or gave a small sting kwim? Just thinking back on all the times I would say it and that possibility of it actually offending him in the slightest makes me uncomfortable....makes me feel ignorant.

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
19th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 624582:</b>" My husband says "That's gay" a lot and I get on him for it. DS is 3, he repeats everything and "That's ... [snip!] ... "That's retarded", but the same applies so I try to say "That's silly" or find other, more appropriate words to express myself."</blockquote>



Yeah my son will not be using the term....or f****t either.