I am going to start off with apologizing if this is long and scattered. I feel like I need to talk to someone about this, but I don't know how to talk about it or even who to talk to, so I am just going to start typing...
Shortly after my daughter's father and I split and my daughter turned two, she came out to my mom and I that someone had touched her "pee pee". I was completely mind blown and didn't really know how to react other than asking her to elaborate. At that point, she didn't give a name, she just said that someone had and she had said "ow". This was brought up to her Pedi and she was examined with no physical evidence. I tried to just let it go, thinking that maybe she had just said it and nothing really did happen... But then she started coming out with more. She gave us a name and it was someone who I never would have thought of. I tried talking to my daughter's father about my concerns, especially seeming that my daughter was accusing his father (papa) and she only saw papa in his care. He flipped out on me, saying that is was just a phase that she was going through and how dare I try to accuse his dad of doing such a thing. Alessa continued to come out to me, my mom and her baby sitter about this. I received calls at work from her sitter saying that my daughter had been licking the crotch of her baby dolls and had told her that "a monster named papa taught her to do it" I brought her to see special doctors that specialized in sexual abuse and the NUZI team with DCF, who my daughter made disclosures to both. I, my mom, her sitter, her Pedi have all made countless reports to DCF with no help from them. Without the physical evidence, there was nothing that could be done. I contacted the police and filed court papers countless times trying to make the abuse stop. I tried keeping her from going to her dad's, but that just resulted in him call the cops and me being court ordered to let him have his visits. Finally, a year ago, I was able to get a 10 year relief from abuse order on my daughter's papa, but that is just a piece of paper. Her father didn't believe me, and he would still allow contact. Nothing seemed to be getting better, until about 6 months ago. I don
I'm SO unbelievably sorry. I think I would have killed someone. :(:(:(
OMG that's horrible. I think I would be turning"pap" into the police and have your little one see a counselour. They can record and get proof of that stuff. Most judges take the word of a kid over the accused adult, unless that accused adult can pass a lie detector test.I'm so sorry. Hold your baby tight, and tell her that she did nothing wrong.
As a Mother I felt your pain and outrage while reading this :cry: I don't know what to say as far as why the system let y'all down. I'm so sorry she had to go through this and I am so sorry you have to help pick up the pieces all the while trying to mend your broken heart as well. I hope in time she forgets these memories but only time will tell.
Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:" I'm SO unbelievably sorry. I think I would have killed someone. :(:(:("
Then she'd have a child without a mother. It's such an unfortunate situation.
Quoting Just Ames:" Then she'd have a child without a mother. It's such an unfortunate situation."
I know... ugh.
That's terrible, I had the same thing happen to me when I was very young and nothing was done about it because there was no physical evidence, if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me.
Just reading this made me cry.
How absolutely horrible. I hope her papa burns.
Thank you guys, I just don't know what else I can do to help her other than to talk to her about it and reassure her that what happened was not okay and not her fault. The court will not go on just her word because of her age and I have not been able to find a counselor who would see someone at her age. She turns four on the 31st and I will finally be able to get her in to talk to someone. The passed 2 years have been so emotionally and financially draining. I have spent over $15,000 in lawyer fees to get basically no where and we still arn't done because "papa" keeps filing appeals to try and get the RFA dropped so he can see her again... I just wish he would let us be so we can try to forget and move on.
And trust me.. I would have killed him a long time ago if I knew it wouldn't leave my daughter with out me..
I am so sorry! I have BTDT, feel free to PM me if you want...even if you just need to vent! Hugs
Quoting Amanda.M:" Thank you guys, I just don't know what else I can do to help her other than to talk to her about it and ... [snip!] ... to try and get the RFA dropped so he can see her again... I just wish he would let us be so we can try to forget and move on."
I think I'd take my kid and go where no one could find us :cry: I know that's not logical (or feasible) but still :x
I'm so sorry, it's stuff like this that makes me terrified of having a daughter. There's so many creeps out there.. her father should have at least talked to her about it before flying off the handle, but at least he seems to believe you now and won't allow his father to have contact with her anymore. It's disgusting that adults can take advantage of such a sweet, innocent child. I'm glad things seem to be getting better for the both of you now, though. Hopefully she's too young to remember this.