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My own mother/VENT** m0mma.meuyna__ 2 kids; Elk Grove, California 279 posts
21st Mar '13

Heres some background before I get started. My mother was never there to raise me or my older brother, if it was up to her we would have been shipped off to our fathers. My grandparents stopped her from putting me on that greyhound bus nearly 15years ago. My grandparents have raised me since I was 3 months old, my mother was never there, emotionally, physically, or financially. My siblings and I all have different fathers but we love each other the same. My mom had a boyfriend who abused me until he went to jail. From that union I have a little brother who is now 11. I told my mom about the abuse but she denies it and says I'm lying that he would never do that and what not. I feel as if she has it in for me. She is a scammer, she will target money lending places, take out credit cards in others names, and use her own family until they're done dry. She has lived her whole life under a man and refuses to get a job, she feels that she is entitled to a job that pays more than 11$/h. She has a bad temper that has landed her in jail for domestic violence, therefore I try not to push her too far.



Fast forward to now: She is unemployed and relies on government assistance. She tried to claim my child and therefore put child support on my SO. We let that slide because she made a mistake. Our rent is $1200 a month and around $3-400 in utilities. She pays nothing at all! My SO and my own grandmother go half on the bills while she rolls in her government assistance and buys lavish brand name clothing, purses, and electronics. For about 8 months now I have been under the impression that she only gets $400 in grub stubs well, after some snooping I did this morning, come to find out she gets about $700 soon to be $780 in food stamps. It irritates me because she sells them to live the expensive life she has. We usually only go grocery shopping in the first day of the month and then that's it for the whole month! She expects me to stretch $150 worth of food for a whole month. Now, that I'm pregnant my SO leaves me cash daily but I don't feel that it's right for us to deplete our savings due to my mom's frivolous spending. I don't know what to do anymore, I want to kick her out of the house but where would she take my little brother? My grandmother wants to as well but she feels like a bad parent if she does, remember my grandmother has supported my mom for her whole life. I wish we could just move out of state and take my grandmother but I know that won't happen. My mother is a leech and she is sucking the life out of my grandmother, my SO, and me. I feel like if we continue to let her walk over us my SO will leave, or my grandmother will have serious health problems,



Please someone give me some advice on how to deal with her the calmest way possible. I need help to end this fxcking nightmare..

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15566 posts
21st Mar '13

I don't know what to do to get her out of the house, but if she's getting $700 in FS, then she's claiming you guys too. She wouldn't get that for 2 people.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
21st Mar '13

Someone, anyone in your family, needs to learn how to be independent.



4 generations leaching off of your poor grandmother.



Move out. Problem solved.

user banned 1 child; Portland, Maine 20613 posts
21st Mar '13

Can you report her to the state for fraud? That's an awful lot for FS if she's only claiming herself and your brother. Not to mention the fact that she's selling them...

MinnesotaMommy2One 1 child; Minnesota 2561 posts
21st Mar '13

Move out. Let her struggle with the bills on her own

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" Someone, anyone in your family, needs to learn how to be independent. 4 generations leaching off of your poor grandmother. Move out. Problem solved."</blockquote>




:!:

m0mma.meuyna__ 2 kids; Elk Grove, California 279 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" Someone, anyone in your family, needs to learn how to be independent. 4 generations leaching off of your poor grandmother. Move out. Problem solved."



Leeching off of my grandmother? I take care of her since my grandfather passed last year, if it wasn't for her I would have been on my own. Don't jump to conclusions like you know.

m0mma.meuyna__ 2 kids; Elk Grove, California 279 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Thisperyears:" Can you report her to the state for fraud? That's an awful lot for FS if she's only claiming herself and your brother. Not to mention the fact that she's selling them..."


I'm pretty sure she gets it for all of us in the house but hasn't told us, I don't think that she'll ever tell if I don't confront her about it.

S U Z I E 3 kids; Venezuela 18556 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting m0mma_sphinxx:</b>" Heres some background before I get started. My mother was never there to raise me or my older brother, ... [snip!] ... someone give me some advice on how to deal with her the calmest way possible. I need help to end this fxcking nightmare.."</blockquote>




Would she give up custody?

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting m0mma_sphinxx:</b>" Leeching off of my grandmother? I take care of her since my grandfather passed last year, if it wasn't for her I would have been on my own. Don't jump to conclusions like you know."</blockquote>




You just went over your financial woes. Your grandmother is providing the roof over your head and I'm assuming, more than that.



Your grandmother is raising your mom, her child, and will now have YOUR child in her house.



Move out and be the first person in your family to be independent.

m0mma.meuyna__ 2 kids; Elk Grove, California 279 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting m0mma_sphinxx:</b>" Leeching off of my grandmother? I take ... [snip!] ... mom, her child, and will now have YOUR child in her house. Move out and be the first person in your family to be independent."


Did you not read this post? The financial burden is mostly on my SO, he pays more than half of the bills. My problem is how get my mother from leeching off of her and family. If we were to move out where would my grandmother go? To a nursing home? An all English speaking facility when she doesn't speak a lick?

m0mma.meuyna__ 2 kids; Elk Grove, California 279 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting S U Z I E:" <blockquote><b>Quoting m0mma_sphinxx:</b>" Heres some background before I get started. ... [snip!] ... her the calmest way possible. I need help to end this fxcking nightmare.."</blockquote> Would she give up custody?"


Of course not, to her, us kids are her income. I've talked to my other family and they will gladly take custody of him but we all know she wouldn't give.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting m0mma_sphinxx:</b>" Did you not read this post? The financial burden is mostly on my SO, he pays more than half of the ... [snip!] ... to move out where would my grandmother go? To a nursing home? An all English speaking facility when she doesn't speak a lick?"</blockquote>




You are admitting though that without your grandmother, you would not be able to afford to live?



You may be helping out but your family does have a tendency to be dependent.

m0mma.meuyna__ 2 kids; Elk Grove, California 279 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting m0mma_sphinxx:</b>" Did you not read this post? The financial ... [snip!] ... you would not be able to afford to live? You may be helping out but your family does have a tendency to be dependent."


We have enough to have our own place but I can't leave her, if I do I know my mom will be a vulture and eat her alive. Idk, everything is going downhill right now.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting m0mma_sphinxx:</b>" We have enough to have our own place but I can't leave her, if I do I know my mom will be a vulture and eat her alive. Idk, everything is going downhill right now."</blockquote>




Why don't you move out and being her with you?