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katxo 18 kids; Florida 7270 posts
21st Mar '13

The best advice I have seen through situations like this is to write a list of all the pros and cons. As others have said, if you're not 100% on your decision hunny, don't do it. Good Luck love

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6298 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" Do you think you can raise both kids without him? Is that something you want to do? How do you think you would feel after the abortion was finished?"


I COULD raise both without him, but it's not something I want to do. & when I say without him, I mean without us being together. I don't think I am emotionally capable. I don't want to be a single mom for the rest of my life.



As far as after the abortion, I know I will be a mess.

ILOVEWINE Due April 24; 2 kids; Sweden 10814 posts
21st Mar '13

It sounds like you are making a large part of this choice based on what other people will think of you. Lots of people have two kids with two different men, it's not ideal but it's ok. Do you think that your choice to abort could negatively affect your daughter now because of depression? Or do you think you would be ok?



OP talk to a counselor and really only do this if you are more sure than not.

Anna Kopp Ohio 303 posts
21st Mar '13

If you go through with it, you -will- regret it. You will think about it all the time and wonder what could have been. But it doesn't mean it's not the -right- decision. We make decisions all the time that we have to live with forever, like leaving someone you love but doesn't treat you right and you will always wonder what if they changed, but it doesn't mean they're wrong, it's just what life throws at us. And life will go on, and so will you. The question is, are you willing to live with it?

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15191 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting malibu.:</b>" I COULD raise both without him, but it's not something I want to do. & when I say without him, I ... [snip!] ... capable. I don't want to be a single mom for the rest of my life. As far as after the abortion, I know I will be a mess. "</blockquote>




Either decision is one you'll have to live with for the rest of your life, so which will be easier for you. A new baby for 18 years or an abortion?

♥♬♡ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 10325 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting malibu.:</b>" I COULD raise both without him, but it's not something I want to do. & when I say without him, I ... [snip!] ... capable. I don't want to be a single mom for the rest of my life. As far as after the abortion, I know I will be a mess. "</blockquote>




It might be hard but think about how much you will love that liddle soft yummy baby. I am all for women making their own decision! So don't make it based off him or his family, do what you feel in your heart your can Handel mentally. If you can do it and live your life with out regretting in then do what you want, but if you feel like you will regret it I would say keep your baby!

T0NKS Due June 9; Sarasota, Florida 37 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" After reading both posts, I get the feeling that you should reconsider."</blockquote>




This!

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6298 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting NICKEL☮POLIS:" That is such a difficult situation I'm sorry you have to deal with that. He is a p***e o* s**t for leaving ... [snip!] ... for even telling you what I would do because I don't want to sway you. It needs to be a decision that you, and you alone make."


That is my biggest problem. I'm thinking about others feelings as well... I love Dan, I don't want to ruin his life plan. I care about him too much to not consider his opinion...afterall, I am the reason we are in this situation.

♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" The past 3 weeks, my mind has been totally scattered..doing 180's multiple times a day. Do I want to ... [snip!] ... their decision right? Can anyone link me to a website or something that might help me feel more comfortable about my decision?"


I think you should do what is best for you and your situation. You know yourself best. Is this something you could go through with? I don't know how other people felt but I would have a hard time following through NOT being 100% sure. Good luck in whatever you choose and no matter what the decision you make is not the wrong one.

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6298 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Nicole Mclovin:" Also, don't let him bully you into thinking that abortion is your only option and be ready for him maybe not wanting to parent if you do decide to not have one."


I told him over a week ago that I was going to keep it. He IS a good guy. He said he will go to appointments and be in the childs life and I don't doubt that for a minute. It's not being in this TOGETHER is what I'm having a hard time with.



It makes it even harder that everyone knows that I am pregnant. And we work together.

penispenispenisVAGINA 4 kids; Idaho 6992 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" That is my biggest problem. I'm thinking about others feelings as well... I love Dan, I don't want to ... [snip!] ... ruin his life plan. I care about him too much to not consider his opinion...afterall, I am the reason we are in this situation."


Forget others. This isn't about them one bit. In fact IMP it isn't about your SO either. It's about YOU! He left you. You didn't ask for the hand you were dealt. I think you should highly reconsider.

katxo 18 kids; Florida 7270 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" That is my biggest problem. I'm thinking about others feelings as well... I love Dan, I don't want to ... [snip!] ... ruin his life plan. I care about him too much to not consider his opinion...afterall, I am the reason we are in this situation."

Well it seems from you writing this that you are more worried for him than yourself. That is not something you should think about when it's your life you are making that decision for in the long run.

ILOVEWINE Due April 24; 2 kids; Sweden 10814 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting malibu.:</b>" I told him over a week ago that I was going to keep it. He IS a good guy. He said he will go to appointments ... [snip!] ... is what I'm having a hard time with. It makes it even harder that everyone knows that I am pregnant. And we work together."</blockquote>




Maybe he will come around? Like once the baby is a actually born?

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6298 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting S U Z I E:" <blockquote><b>Quoting malibu.:</b>" The past 3 weeks, my mind has been totally scattered..doing ... [snip!] ... my husband to have another child and things couldn't have worked out more perfectly! He even adopted my oldest daughter. :)"


So glad things worked out for you!

......................... Vancouver, British Columbia 5643 posts
21st Mar '13

Do they have a councelor at the abortion clinic? I would suggest writing a pros and cons list and talking to the councelor there before you actually do it. I wish you the best if luck. Either way it will be a difficult decision.