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malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6312 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting ღ.ღ.ღ:" If you're not at least 100% sure with your decision, don't do it. You will regret it, i know this is a very hard decision to make, but you have a few more weeks to make it right?"


I do. But the longer I wait, the less likely I know I will be to follow through with it.

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
21st Mar '13

I've had 2 abortions you can pm me any questions you have.



I'm pregnant with baby #2 now and it's a different dad. If we had split up I would have had an abortion. I could not raise two kids with two different fathers on my own. It would've very complicated and not the life I would want myself or my children to have. That's just my opinion though

Baby_Majick 52 kids; Sullivan, Missouri 4031 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" The past 3 weeks, my mind has been totally scattered..doing 180's multiple times a day. Do I want to ... [snip!] ... their decision right? Can anyone link me to a website or something that might help me feel more comfortable about my decision?"


Let me tell you I was a single mom to a little girl... and my ex boyfriend at the time... we were still having sex, well I got pregnant... I didn't care if I was going to be a single mom or not to two kids, I was keeping the baby regardless... eventually he warmed up and we worked out... now we are married 7 years later. Don't do something you'll regret...

Nicole Mclovin 3 kids; Colorado 2784 posts
21st Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting malibu.:</b>" I told him over a week ago that I was going to keep it. He IS a good guy. He said he will go to appointments ... [snip!] ... is what I'm having a hard time with. It makes it even harder that everyone knows that I am pregnant. And we work together."</blockquote>




I went through the same thing with my last baby. I am pro choice for other woman but I don't see as it as something I could do personally. My SO told me he didn't want to keep the baby and if I didn't have an abortion I wod be a single mother at the time I didn't want to loose him and agreed to the abortion. Tried to do it twice but just couldn't. I put my foot down and told SO he could choose to leave or stay with me and he came around and we are still together now and happy we didn't gothrough with it. If your thinking that you want to have an abortion to try and work things out with SO and truly deep down inside you don't want to have one your going to resent him and things will probably never be the same.

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7199 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Mrs.Pinkman:" 1. He sounds like a total a*****e. It may suck right now but you definitely deserve better. 2. Nobody can tell you what to do. It's entirely your choice and your decision to make."



This.
Best of luck OP.

malibu. 2 kids; Grand Rapids, Michigan 6312 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Nicole Mclovin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting malibu.:</b>" I told him over a week ago that I was going to ... [snip!] ... SO and truly deep down inside you don't want to have one your going to resent him and things will probably never be the same."


From what I see, either way we are not going to be together. Abortion or not. Things will NEVER go back to the way they were.



&this is what I'm trying to keep in mind. I think the abortion itself will take as much emotional toll as the end of our relationship... only difference is, I will eventually get over him. But IDK if I could ever forgive myself for giving up a baby that I was totally capable of raising.

Ashley Desmarais 2 kids; Starbuck, Minnesota 166 posts
21st Mar '13

my boyfriend threatened to leave me if i didnt have an abortion. he didnt tell anyone i was pregnant expecting me to do it. i told him you can leave or you can stay i love you but i am not killing a baby becuase your not ready. and i was on birth control. he stayed and i am now 28 weeks pregnant and he is growing more and more used to the idea of having 2 children. (he wanted to me to have the abortion because we have a 1 yr and a 3 yr old, the 3 yr old isnt his but she doesnt see her real dad often) he may come around. just make your choice and stick to it hun if abortion isnt right for you dont do it. for future reference.. if you think you will regret it dont do it. I am glad you decided to keep baby i hope all works well for you! :)

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7199 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" That is my biggest problem. I'm thinking about others feelings as well... I love Dan, I don't want to ... [snip!] ... ruin his life plan. I care about him too much to not consider his opinion...afterall, I am the reason we are in this situation."



It takes two to make a baby, IMO. Even if you had not gotten off BC for a short time, he risked getting you pregnant by not using a condom because BC isn't 100% effective. So he is not entirely blameless.
but if you don't think you could emotionally or financially handle a second baby, abortion may be what is best for you and your daughter. Only you can really know what is best for you in the end.

penispenispenisVAGINA 4 kids; Idaho 7110 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" From what I see, either way we are not going to be together. Abortion or not. Things will NEVER go back ... [snip!] ... eventually get over him. But IDK if I could ever forgive myself for giving up a baby that I was totally capable of raising."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This would be a very good reason to reconsider and not go through with it.

ღ.ღ.ღ 3 kids; South Carolina 7316 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting malibu.:" I do. But the longer I wait, the less likely I know I will be to follow through with it."


I get that, maybe write a list of pros and cons. I know it's not your idea to be a single mom but if you do decide to keep the baby at least you know ahead of time he's actually willing to be there and not just leave you high and dry. I wish you the best of luck with whatever decision you make.

peekin3 Racine, Wisconsin 289 posts
21st Mar '13

First off... I AM pro choice (for the right reasons)



What does it matter that they have two different fathers? They have the same mother... That, in my mind, isn't a reason. What if SO stays and a week after you have the baby he leaves? What would you do then? Don't do it because he's not there. Do it because you don't want another one right now period. Regardless of where he's at. Even if he stays he could leave at any minute. You need to remember that.



Third... Don't count SO out yet... He's in shock, and probably more afraid than you are. It seems as though this is the gut reaction for men. Like they get caught with their hands in the cookie jar and want to yell at the chef for leaving it on the counter.



Give yourself a deadline. Think about it... But in my opinion... If you would keep it if he stayed you should still keep it if he doesn't.

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7199 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Nicole Mclovin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting malibu.:</b>" I told him over a week ago that I was going to ... [snip!] ... SO and truly deep down inside you don't want to have one your going to resent him and things will probably never be the same."



I was in a very similar situation. I am 100% pro choice, and had even had an abortion before.
My fiance said the same thing to me. That he didn't want to have the baby and that I'd be on my own if I kept the baby. I scheduled the appointment, but just couldn't do it. I put my foot down like you did and he ended up staying. He fell in love with our daughter at the 14 week gender scan, and is glad we didn't abort. I know I would have resented him if I had gone through with it when I didn't really want too.
but OP you must prepare yourself for the possibility that it could go either way if you keep the baby. He may or may not come back.

user banned Due August 18 (girl); Texas 46 posts
21st Mar '13

I am pregnant now, 18 weeks along and I considered abortion but what changed my mind was the sermon I heard. The pastor said that God knew us before we were born and while we were still even in our mother's womb and he said once you abort a baby you can't bring it back. The unborn life in the mother's womb is a human individual from conception on. I left the church feeling terrible but also better at the same time. I think it was because it really opened my eyes and I changed my mind about abortion and I am going to follow through on the pregnancy. I don't think our babies should be killed because of what we did our what society did to us. Baby's are the most innocent thing there is and I think everyone deserves a chance at life.



I have a friend that helps me through things and she had an abortion 4-5 years ago and she has regretted it ever since. She's lost because of how depressed and guilty she feels. I feel bad because I don't know what to tell her. What I am saying is I hope you make the right choice that will best benefit you AND the baby.

katxo 18 kids; Florida 7270 posts
21st Mar '13
Quoting Aliana'smomma:"

take that religion bullshit out of here. She's not asking your opinion because you decided to go to church and look for an answer you already know they give.

user banned Due August 18 (girl); Texas 46 posts
21st Mar '13

Ok, so my comment was hidden. I see religion is a touchy subject but I was just stating my opinion.