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I'm so frustrated with pumping/ breastfeeding!!! greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
22nd Mar '13

I'm about to give up and hate myself forever. I'm feeling completely helpless, hopeless, frustrated.
I had a 30 weeker so he was fed with a tube for the first 4 1/2 weeks then with a bottle and only breastfeeding once a day because it was taking a lot of energy from him and he couldn't handle it.
Now we're home and I'm supposed to be breastfeeding every other feeding(because he gets meds in his bottle every other feeding).
Well, I can only get him to latch MAYBE twice a day, usually only once. I feel myself let down, I see his eyes get wide, I see his suckles get longer and deeper, I hear him chugging, and then he will fall asleep. No matter what I do I can't wake him up. So I take him off, change his diaper, suck bugars out of his nose, burp him, just unnecessary shit to wake him up and I still cannot get him to latch to the other side.
Then I finally offer him the botte and he sucks the whole thing down!!



Idk what to do. He's 7 weeks old, pumping isn't keeping my supply up(I went from peaking at about 35oz every 24 hours to like 8oz every 24 hrs now. Luckily I have some frozen from before but I'm quickly running out)



My older son never had a drop of formula or took a single bottle. He just breastfed. He breastfed for 2 1/2 years! How can I do it for one baby and not for another? When do I give up? I will feel TERRIBLE if I can't do this for my baby! I will feel like such a failure!!

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
22nd Mar '13

I remember your last post - was the pedi a little more helpful this time? Is the bottle the only way to give him his medicine? It sounds like he's used to the fast flow of the bottle and it takes so much energy for him to get milk out of your breast. If you can eliminate the bottles and just put him on the b**b constantly that would help, but there's the medication thing....



Even if he will only take a bottle, don't feel bad. You're trying your best. Do you know how many girls on here and IRL have one FF kid and one EBF kid? I'm one of them. As long as he's fed, you're doing a good job. Have you tried fenugreek?

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
22nd Mar '13

You are not a failure. Can you see a LC or use a SNS? Are you taking fenugreek, mothers milk tea, ect? Do the best you can and if at the end of the day it doesnt work out the important thing is your child is being fed. It doesnt make you less of a mother or anything.

Rebekah Garden x3 Due October 5 (boy); 33 kids; Fall River, Massachusetts 5223 posts
22nd Mar '13

Have you tried a warm towel wrapped around your b**bs if you pump? Have you tried fenugreek? With fenu Greek you take three pills three times a day! What about mothers milk tea? I know you can get both fenugreek and mothers milk tea at GNC! Also something else that helps with letdown is if you massage your b**bs as you pump! I would concentrate on trying to get him to nurse more on the breast Also pumping while watching him or pumping while he's nursing will also give you more milk

human making in progress 2 kids; Port Orchard, Washington 7986 posts
22nd Mar '13

its not easy to breastfeed premies. my son was only 4 weeks early, but he couldnt eat and breathe at the same time so he was on oxygen, and feeding through a tube then bottle. it was a tough start and my supply never got past 8 ounces a day (at BEST).



and remember, every child is different and every breastfeeding experience is different. just because one is easy or one is hard, means the next one will be the same.
the important part is that you tried. you tried after going through more than I had to go through with my LO. you can keep trying after your LO gets older day by day, if you must feed your LO primarily by bottle, then do so, and instead of giving your LO a paci, try to give him b**b. the motion alone will help with supply.



its not bad to feed with formula, its not breastmilk, but it wont kill your kid, your child will still be healthy and happy. thats the important part right?
Some people hold breastfeeding up on a pedestal, while it is a great thing to do for your child, its not the only way to feed your child. The important thing is that your child is fed and happy.
Its okay to give up, or like I said, you can keep trying and breastfeed when you can get a good latch. a little is always better than nothing.

Mary Stickles Due May 22; 4 kids; Virginia Beach, Virginia 978 posts
22nd Mar '13

mine was a 33 weeker. He didnt do well bf either. I pumped every two hours, drank tons of water, mothers,milk tea, fenugreek, used hospitsl grade pump, nipple shield u name it!!! Ebf with bottle 8 weeks supply went down, still pumped and bf 3/5 times a day until he was 6 months...my supply was gone. I still am angry it didnt work for us.
Preemies are sooo much harder to ebf than full term. Sure some moms get lucky and it happens....but the odds are against it because they feed from tubes and bottles in the NICU and start to prefer fast flow and less work. Think about it ....your super hungry and never used chop sticks...someone give you a set and says dig in...but there is a fork in front if you...what would you choose? Try to be proud of how far you came already, and know you did your best! Trust me I know it sucks but your still a loving mother with or without breastfeedi.g

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
22nd Mar '13

I haven't tried fenugreek or anything like that yet because the issue isn't my body it's ME. I'm not pumping enough. I was doing great every 3 hours for a few weeks but I could only take so much of it so I started dwindling to 6, 5, 4 now I was down to 1 or 2 times a day of pumping. I'm getting bck up to 4 and 5 but not seeing a difference yet so I guess I should try fenugreek.



I am seeing a lactation consultant. She told me once I get my supply back up, he won't have to try as hard to get the milk out and maybe that will help.



And yes the doctor ok'd my med schedule which is why I can breastfeed him 4 times a day now. The meds can't be given another way. One is sodium cholride(straight up salt) and absolutely needs to be mixed into a ton of milk to hide the taste. He gets that all 4 times I give him a bottle. I'm sure the others don't taste great either.



Another problem is that he's started sleeping through 2 of his night feedings. It's great that he's such a good sleeper but it's messing his schedule up. I hate schedules and I don't believe in waking baby to eat which is why I can't wait to breastfeed!!



I just don't know how long I can mentally handle this. I need him breastfeeding NOW and it's not happening. I mean, we're still 3 weeks away from his due date so it is to be expected I guess but with no end in sight I'm going insane.

Charlee ♥ Jensen 3 kids; Iowa 56325 posts
22nd Mar '13
Quoting Will☮Creedence:" I haven't tried fenugreek or anything like that yet because the issue isn't my body it's ME. I'm not ... [snip!] ... I mean, we're still 3 weeks away from his due date so it is to be expected I guess but with no end in sight I'm going insane."


I'm no help...like at all.



All I can say is don't give up, because if you are anything like me you'll hate yourself for it for the rest of your life. AND of course, you can always vent or cry or whatever you need to..I'm always around <3

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
22nd Mar '13
Quoting Will☮Creedence:" I haven't tried fenugreek or anything like that yet because the issue isn't my body it's ME. I'm not ... [snip!] ... I mean, we're still 3 weeks away from his due date so it is to be expected I guess but with no end in sight I'm going insane."

Can you use a SNS to get him the meds?

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
22nd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting TantricLemons:</b>" Can you use a SNS to get him the meds?"</blockquote>




A supplemental nursing system? Had no idea what that was until I just googled. How does it work and where would I get one?



I just can't understand why even after he breastfeeds he will still take his entire bottle. When I pump I don't get much but I still get like an ounce at least out of each side so he should only be taking half his bottle afterwards. It's so frustrating!

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
22nd Mar '13
Quoting Will☮Creedence:" <blockquote><b>Quoting TantricLemons:</b>" Can you use a SNS to get him the meds?"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... still get like an ounce at least out of each side so he should only be taking half his bottle afterwards. It's so frustrating!"

Yeah, you can even make one. I can link someone to this thread who made one. He will get milk easier from the breast because you will put pumped milk in it. At the same time he will be stimulating your breast.



Lots of water, oatmeal, fenugreek and mothers milk tea. Right before we "got it" with my nicu baby I had a giving up moment to. I stopped even trying to put her at the breast and took some time to regain my sanity. Then when i tried again it worked.

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
22nd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting TantricLemons:</b>" Yeah, you can even make one. I can link someone to this thread who made one. He will get milk easier ... [snip!] ... to. I stopped even trying to put her at the breast and took some time to regain my sanity. Then when i tried again it worked."</blockquote>




Thank you that would be great :)

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
22nd Mar '13

here it is http://thefruitfultree.net/homemade-supplemental-nursing-system/
:D
I think it will make your life a WHOLE lot easier.

whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
22nd Mar '13

I have no experience with premies but when I would pump on one side while nursing on the other my milk supply skyrocketed. Maybe you can try that to build up your supply?

slayera Due February 2 (twins); 4 kids; 3 angel babies; nowhere, ca, United States 1227 posts
22nd Mar '13

dont give up! i too had bouts of insanity & almost gave up. my lil guy was 7 weeks before he completely figured it out.