Reply
how to tell a friend proud mom_2 Due July 4 (girl); 2 kids; Radford, Virginia 135 posts
23rd Mar '13

That you don't want them at your home birth? I'm due July 5 and my husband and I have decided that we want it to just be us and of of course the midwife and two Doulas . I told her early on that I wanted her there. But now I just want it to be a special bonding moment with my husband and I. I don't know how to tell her.



Advice please?



Also sorry for any spelling or grammar, I'm on my phone.

October2011 2 kids; Pennsylvania 6740 posts
23rd Mar '13

Just like you stated above. That you want it to be a bonding moment for your husband and yourself. It's not like you are telling her you are inviting a different friend instead of her.

Mommy to munchkin 17 kids; Bandera, Texas 1229 posts
23rd Mar '13

Just tell her that you have thought about it and want to take that time for you the hubby and baby to have bonding time and its nothing against her. I was in the same boat when I had dd at first I told people they could be there but towards the end I changed my mind and it ended up just being me,so,and my mom at delivery.

♥TwinsRock♥ 2 kids; Buffalo, New York 4471 posts
23rd Mar '13

Well, any way you say it, her feelings will probably be hurt. But she really should understand that you want it to be just you and DH... I have no advise really, but maybe just say something along the lines of "You know I care about you etc, and don't want to hurt your feelings but me and DH have discussed it and want it to be just the two of us..." Maybe you could also let her know she could come over right away after the birth? (If that would be ok with you)

**mummyX3** 3 kids; Australia 1071 posts
23rd Mar '13

I just told my friends dh didnt feel comfortable with them in them room and i wanted it to be special for both of us so it wasnt fair on him.
But me and dh have a mutual agreement that we can use each other as an excuse lol

Amanda.M 2 kids; St Albans, Vermont 890 posts
23rd Mar '13

If I were your friend, I would compleatly understand. Giving birth is a very personal experience and I wouldn't want anyone there either. Just tell her how you explained it in your op, I am sure she will understand. Just let her know that as soon as you and baby are up for visitors, that she will be the first to know!

Wildflower 🌈 1 child; Oregon 7065 posts
23rd Mar '13

Maybe just don't tell her when you are in labor, and just say things went so fast you didn't have time to call. Or call her at the last minute so she dosnt have time to make it. That's what my sister did to me lol

user banned 1 child; Portland, Maine 20613 posts
23rd Mar '13

Tell her what you just wrote. If I were your friend I would completely understand. If it makes you feel better, maybe invite her to come meet the baby and see how you're doing the next day?

proud mom_2 Due July 4 (girl); 2 kids; Radford, Virginia 135 posts
23rd Mar '13

You ladies are awesome! I couldn't just pretend of to forget to call her. My labors are famous for not being short lol. I'm going to sit down and tell her on Easter (we don't live extremely close) and let her know she can see bby as soon as she is born. Thank you all again!!!!!

proud mom_2 Due July 4 (girl); 2 kids; Radford, Virginia 135 posts
23rd Mar '13

Wait I meant tell her my husband and I want it to be a bonding experience for us and that she can see baby as soon as she is born.