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What do I do? Mandi Bass 1 child; Minnesota 1063 posts
23rd Mar '13

DS was a 26 weeker. He's been in and out of the hospital with RSV and complications due to a poorly done intubation. This last stay was 2 weeks long. While he's in the hospital, every second that I am not in his room there is a nurse holding him because "oh he's so cute and I just had to cuddle him." At first I didn't see any problem with this... more love for Timmy!



Now, he's home and because of his nurses he expects to be held literally nonstop 24/7. It's terrible. I haven't showered in 5 fucking days because every time I put him down he starts to scream like someone is killing him. Even if I wait and don't put him down until he's sleeping, 10-15 minutes later he wakes up and starts screaming until I pick him up.



He'll be 6 months on the 28th but he's corrected to only 11 weeks so he's to little to let cry it out. I just don't know what to do?! He cries all the time if he's not being held! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance ladies!

drunk faith1 1 child; Alabama 10081 posts
23rd Mar '13

Have you tried babywearing?

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
23rd Mar '13

I don't think it's because of the nurses. It's because he's an infant and wants to be held and loved... most do. Remember at this age you cannot "spoil" a baby and he is completely incapable of manipulating you. Just hold him... (or wear him!), the time will come far too soon that he will be running in the opposite direction of his mommy's arms.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44071 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dovahkiin:</b>" I don't think it's because of the nurses. It's because he's an infant and wants to be held and loved... ... [snip!] ... him... (or wear him!), the time will come far too soon that he will be running in the opposite direction of his mommy's arms. "</blockquote>



This. I think the nurses should have held him all the time. He was supposed to be snuggled up and warm in your belly still. He needed to be snuggled and held. And my baby wasn't spoiled in the nicu and she still wants to be held and snuggled 24/7. That's what baby's want and need. I barely get showered either. But I do at least get in te bath with her and scrub up a little and wet my hair. It's not a complete shower but it helps.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
23rd Mar '13

i think its great they held him so much. it really helps fight ftt syndrome and he was soo little. he probably will be a high maintenance baby until he gets bigger. wear him or get a friend or family member to come over and watch him while you have some mom time.

Krista+baby Gracie 66 kids; Freeport, Florida 460 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dovahkiin:</b>" I don't think it's because of the nurses. It's because he's an infant and wants to be held and loved... ... [snip!] ... him... (or wear him!), the time will come far too soon that he will be running in the opposite direction of his mommy's arms. "</blockquote>




This!!! Your baby thrives for closeness and feels secure in your arms. That's just his temperament. They also say sick babies get healthier quicker when they have the touch of a caregiver.

Mandi Bass 1 child; Minnesota 1063 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting FaithOne:" Have you tried babywearing?"


Yes ma'am. He hated it. He doesn't like to be held upright. I tried a sling next and he didn't like that either. It's in your arms or nothing!

MommyToWesley 1 child; Delaware 3847 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Dovahkiin:" I don't think it's because of the nurses. It's because he's an infant and wants to be held and loved... ... [snip!] ... him... (or wear him!), the time will come far too soon that he will be running in the opposite direction of his mommy's arms. "


I agree. I mean, he was only there two weeks. That's not even long enough for a baby to learn a habit, especially at 11 weeks.
Wear him. Love on him and snuggle him. He's still so little, and with all the problems he's had, he needs to know that mommy is still there.

Mamakye_ Due October 19; 1 child; Australia 919 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting FaithOne:</b>" Have you tried babywearing?"</blockquote>



I suggest babywearing too

MommyToWesley 1 child; Delaware 3847 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Mandi Bass:" Yes ma'am. He hated it. He doesn't like to be held upright. I tried a sling next and he didn't like that either. It's in your arms or nothing!"


What kind of carrier did you try?

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Mandi Bass:" Yes ma'am. He hated it. He doesn't like to be held upright. I tried a sling next and he didn't like that either. It's in your arms or nothing!"


have you tried different holds? maybe go shirtless so he can feel your skin

Mandi Bass 1 child; Minnesota 1063 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Dovahkiin:</b>" I don't think it's because of the nurses. It's ... [snip!] ... But I do at least get in te bath with her and scrub up a little and wet my hair. It's not a complete shower but it helps."

I'm not talking about when he was in the NICU. I meant this last stint for RSV. They never held him in the NICU, and it really bothered me. I tried taking a bath with him and he really didn't like it. And he peed on both of us:D

Mandi Bass 1 child; Minnesota 1063 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting MommyToWesley:" What kind of carrier did you try?"


We tried a wrap, a sling, and front/back carrier.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44071 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mandi Bass:</b>" I'm not talking about when he was in the NICU. I meant this last stint for RSV. They never held him in ... [snip!] ... the NICU, and it really bothered me. I tried taking a bath with him and he really didn't like it. And he peed on both of us:D"</blockquote>



Yeah that happens to us too haha.



And yeah I just re-read that and saw you meant during the last stay. But still he is little. My dd is Doing the same thing so you're not alone. I know it's hard but it does get better as they get older and more independent. Take the bouncer in the bathroom with you and see if you can put him in it for a couple mins at a time while you wash up. Then being him back in if he cries.

Mandi Bass 1 child; Minnesota 1063 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Dovahkiin:" I don't think it's because of the nurses. It's because he's an infant and wants to be held and loved... ... [snip!] ... him... (or wear him!), the time will come far too soon that he will be running in the opposite direction of his mommy's arms. "

He never used to be like this, so if he can't be spoiled then I am not sure why it came on so suddenly. It's not that I mind holding him, because I love to snuggle, but 24/7 is becoming a problem. We can't cosleep and he hates being "worn" so it's beginning to be a problem.