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scared of adoption Baby On Board #4 Due June 18 (boy); 3 kids; Greer, South Carolina 53 posts
23rd Mar '13

I am due in June & i plan to adopt my son out. Im getting really scared the closer it gets.. Are these feelings normal & how do i cope afterwards??

❀Sarah❀ 2 kids; Cocking, EU, Europe 124614 posts
23rd Mar '13

are you going through an agency? Maybe they can recommend a counselor

Baby On Board #4 Due June 18 (boy); 3 kids; Greer, South Carolina 53 posts
23rd Mar '13

No agency. Open adoption through friends. Im just scared that after hes adopted if they didnt want me around anymore they could just take him & me never see him again!!

NICKEL☮POLIS 2 kids; Ontario 6268 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Baby On Board #4:" No agency. Open adoption through friends. Im just scared that after hes adopted if they didnt want me around anymore they could just take him & me never see him again!!"


They could... it's something you are risking when you give a child up for adoption. I would hope that as friends they wouldn't do that to you but it's a very real fear and ultimately it will technically be their child, so their decision.

αuτumnαl ~, FL, United States 67866 posts
status 23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Baby On Board #4:</b>" No agency. Open adoption through friends. Im just scared that after hes adopted if they didnt want me around anymore they could just take him & me never see him again!!"</blockquote>




That is why you need a lawyer and paperwork.

Vitameatavegamin 19 kids; League City, Texas 5829 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Baby On Board #4:" No agency. Open adoption through friends. Im just scared that after hes adopted if they didnt want me around anymore they could just take him & me never see him again!!"


I really don't know much of anything about it, but do you have a lawyer helping you set this up? Because if you, I'm pretty sure you can specify how involved you would be so that legally they can't just ban you from the baby's life. Like, have it in writing, so that if anything goes awry, you still have legal rights to get pictures and updates, or whatever you expect/want to get.



But like I said, I have never been through anything like that, but if you don't have a lawyer, go talk to one about your concerns and what you can work out with the adopting parents.

Baby On Board #4 Due June 18 (boy); 3 kids; Greer, South Carolina 53 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting NICKEL☮POLIS:" They could... it's something you are risking when you give a child up for adoption. I would hope that ... [snip!] ... they wouldn't do that to you but it's a very real fear and ultimately it will technically be their child, so their decision."


They always remind me that they would never do that & they want him to know his birth parents. But it is still a fear regardless! I wish i could just keep him but its so hard i have 3 kids already under 5!!

Baby On Board #4 Due June 18 (boy); 3 kids; Greer, South Carolina 53 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Lady GooGoo
♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
23rd Mar '13

They can change their mind at any time and choose to not let you see him. That is something I would be fearful of as well.



OP how well do you know these people?

αuτumnαl ~, FL, United States 67866 posts
status 23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Baby On Board #4:</b>" I have no lawyer or anything.. she does"</blockquote>




He is going to do what's in THEIR best interest, not yours.

❀Sarah❀ 2 kids; Cocking, EU, Europe 124614 posts
23rd Mar '13

This makes me sad. Good luck OP

Vitameatavegamin 19 kids; League City, Texas 5829 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Baby On Board #4:" I have no lawyer or anything.. she does"


Well then if they are willing to discuss making the open adoption say exactly how much contact/notifications, express to them how involved you would like to be. Hopefully you can all agree on something you're all comfortable with and they're okay with putting it in legal papers, however that all works. GL mama :)

Baby On Board #4 Due June 18 (boy); 3 kids; Greer, South Carolina 53 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" They can change their mind at any time and choose to not let you see him. That is something I would be fearful of as well. OP how well do you know these people?"


not well at all. met them through my husbands aunt for the 1st time about 2 months ago. shes showed me where she works told me where she lives let me meet her mother & cousin brings me clothes, food attends my other kids bday parties.. i jus dunno :(

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46839 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting NICKEL☮POLIS:" They could... it's something you are risking when you give a child up for adoption. I would hope that ... [snip!] ... they wouldn't do that to you but it's a very real fear and ultimately it will technically be their child, so their decision."


:!::!:



Please get a lawyer to ensure that your rights are protected in all of this.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
23rd Mar '13

I'm sorry your so worried. I know some one with 4 kids under 5 idk how she does it and she is pregnant with her 5th. Her dh is a deadbeat as well. I would loss my mind.