Reply
♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Baby On Board #4:" not well at all. met them through my husbands aunt for the 1st time about 2 months ago. shes showed ... [snip!] ... where she lives let me meet her mother & cousin brings me clothes, food attends my other kids bday parties.. i jus dunno :("


Honestly I don't know if it can be done but I wonder if you can draw up a legal agreement. I don't see how you will be able to give him up if you are not sure about the outcome.

user banned New York 15996 posts
23rd Mar '13

Im soeey you're feeling this way. You are such a strong woman to do this, with that said unfortunatly that's a risk you have to take with an open adoption. Just try to stay positive about it all.

Baby On Board #4 Due June 18; 3 kids; Greer, South Carolina 53 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" :!::!: Please get a lawyer to ensure that your rights are protected in all of this."


thank you. i honestly didnt know i could even get a lawyer or anything. but i will look into it for sure.

Boobo&bugs Due September 24; 1 child; Simpsonville, South Carolina 5582 posts
23rd Mar '13

Get a lawyer hun. There are many good ones in our area, I'm not that far from you.

tatesmommy09 2 kids; Illinois 4003 posts
23rd Mar '13

I am a sister to two adopted little boys. The first boy was supposed to be an open adoption. Mama wanted the birth mother, her mother, and her sister to be able to visit and be involved in LB's life.



After adoption is finalized it is completely up to the adoptive parents as to how involved you are in baby's life. I am sorry to tell you but there is no way you can get a lawyer and protect your rights to see him. Open adoption simply means that your name is still on paper stating that you are the birth mother. When baby turns 18 all he has to do is go to the courthouse and open the file and he can find out who his birth mother is. Closed adoption simply means that there is no name in the file and he will have to do research to find out who the birth parents are.



Thats it. There is no law on what rights you have to the child. People are really uninformed in this area. LB's birthmother tried to hire a lawyer to get to see LB and no one would take her case. (mana had to get a restraining order against her and her mother after death threats were made and they threatened to come and take LB.



LB's birth father's parents have recently contacted mana and have gotten to visit LB and will continue to get to be a part of his life as long as they follow mama's rules. They seem like wonderful people and we hope they continue to be involved



Now our second boy was a closed adoption but the birth mother has stoped by twice since his birth and has gotten to see him. She is really trying to not be involved but its gotta be so hard!



My advice to you is to continue to do what you are doing and I pray that things go well for you. Your AP's seem like nice people and if you trust them all should go well. Please play by their rules and do not demand visits or pictures or make threats.



Good luck to you and God Bless.

CLC 13 Weeks Due October 23; TTC since Jul 2009; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Nebraska 1626 posts
25th Mar '13

I adopted a girl from Ohio and we barely knew the parents but we text all the time and occasionally Skype. We put in the adoption papers that the lawyer drew up that we would get together once a year. We hired the lawyer but u think that was mostly bc the birth parents couldn't afford to.